Things I'll Never Say: The Jacob & Leah Story
by As Clear As Black
Summary: As an award-winner for most tears, Jacob and Leah are such an unlikely pair. Can Leah put her differences aside and finally fall in love again or will her bitterness overtake all emotion and send Jacob running in the other direction?
1. Chapter 1: Hello, Wall

**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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I couldn't imagine anything worse—broken bones and a shattered heart, all on the same day. I concluded that when Bella had left my house, she'd taken it upon herself to spend some _quality time_ with her soon to be _husband_ and his bloodsucking family of vampires. I knew this was only an attempt to forget the damage she'd done to me, and I was fine with suffering for another day. I didn't blame her for any of this, even though a tiny part of me wanted to. The thought only made the dull ache in my bones feel less pleasant than I would have originally liked it to and to top things off, I was alone. Silence tended to make me feel things I might not otherwise, and the morphine _Doctor Fang_ had given me barely eased my worry. It made me more aware of the situation in its entirety and even though we had won one fight, I was losing my own.

Bella didn't have long before she became the disgusting thing I hated so much, but a part of me still clung to that last ounce of hope—a possibility that she could still change her mind and choose me. I knew it wouldn't happen and I shouldn't hold my breath, but her ultimatum made me wish for her death. Was it so bad I didn't want the girl I had fallen in love with over a summer of laughter and tears to be turned into a murderous monster, fueled by an unstoppable thirst for blood?

It was sometime after two in the morning, and everything was completely silent for a majority of the time I'd been awake. I was drifting in and out of consciousness so often, I couldn't tell the real world from the blackness that surrounded my dreams. In my head, or somewhere beyond the bedroom door, I kept hearing a distant female voice talking about my condition to an older male voice I distinguished as my father.

Her voice was one I didn't immediately recognized because of the male to female ratio in this God forsaking town. When I became too tired to think or to wonder, I found the strength to anyway. Forcing myself to stay awake, I fought off the painkillers that made me unreasonably drowsy. I wanted to know what they were saying, and I strained myself to listen, ignoring the throbbing pain.

"But you think he's going to be okay though, right?" The rough and raspy female voice questioned. There was some mumbling from my father and then the female's tone turned angry. "He's so stubborn! I could have easily taken that thing, but the jerk got in the way."

I heard my dad give a brief response, but it was extremely hard to understand him when he was talking so low.

I wanted to yell. Maybe I would tell them to shut up, or ask them why they were talking about me. When a sharp pain shot through my shoulder, I whimpered weakly and I gave up trying to make sense of the voices. Relaxing against my pillows, soaked in sweat from burning off the morphine, I concentrated on breathing.

Trying not to think of the worst outcome possible for my endless list of problems, I instead thought of the past. In that small moment of time, I was normal and Edward didn't consume Bella's every thought. Here, we were just two best friends getting to know each other on a beach in early spring. When I felt tears stream down the sides of my face, I knew I had gone too far back in my memories.

I could hear footsteps in the hallway and without hesitation, quickly shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep. The door to my bedroom opened and someone stepped in, walking slowly to my bedside.

It took everything I had not to peek at whoever had the audacity to walk into my room, uninvited. I would have to remember to kindly ask my dad not to allow strangers to visit me while I was asleep and pretty much defenseless.

They knelt beside the bed, and I tried to keep my breathing even. I didn't know what he or she was planning to do, and honestly I just hoped it didn't involve any pain. I couldn't have taken anymore than I was dealing with now.

It took them what felt like forever to move or say something, and when they did, it startled me. "Jacob," Leah Clearwater's voice rung in my ears, "I'm sorry," she apologized in a tone less like her normal, unrefined voice. " I never meant for this to happen." She paused abruptly. "I was stupid. I thought I had something to prove, and it caused you to suffer what should have happened to me—maybe even worse than what you got." She laughed lightly to herself.

I wanted to groan. I wanted to tell her to stop talking and go away, but why didn't I? As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. She _was_ stupid, and this _was_ her fault. What the hell was making her come to her senses so suddenly?

"I wish you could understand the way I feel about this," she mumbled, and it almost sounded like crying.

I couldn't stand to hear a girl cry, and as much as I hated hearing it, I didn't stop her either. I wanted her to really feel sorry for what she had done. At that moment, I battled with myself; I didn't want to comfort her, but at the same time, I did? This was not me.

_How much of that morphine did Doctor Fang prescribe for me?_ Hopefully, it was enough to kill me. Maybe I was having a really weird dream. I didn't know, but I did notice she called me Jake like I was someone she was best friends with. Her voice made me think of Bella. Bella would call me Jake all the time. It was actually rare I heard it from anyone else, even my two good pals, Embry and Quil.

She sighed heavily. "What I meant to say was...I-I-I...I've really messed things up for you, haven't I?"

Did she honestly expect me to answer that, or was she really just talking to the walls now?

"Jacob, I'm...I'm sorry." Her voice broke at the end as she tried to force the word out. She wasn't being bitter and it came as a complete shock. Wow, Leah did have a heart after all.

A moment later, she touched my uninjured hand and gathered it in hers. I was confused. This was so out of character for Leah. She was never sympathetic to anyone, especially not me. We fought like two kids on a playground. She would shove animal crackers down the back of my pants and I was spill red cherry kool-aid all over her pretty little white dress. It's how things were between us, even since Sam—

"I wish there was something I could do for you. Anything." She inturrupted my thoughts, running her fingers across the bumps of my knuckles and was quiet for a moment. "I know you'll be in a lot of pain when that drip runs out." She choked out a laugh.

_Jokes? In the middle of my pain and suffering? Nice, Leah. Really nice,_ I thought sheepishly.

Her grip around my fingers tightened, and my mood changed. I felt, for a moment, her pulse racing beneath her hot skin. My breathing shifted, and I knew she would notice the immediate change. Stupid, stupid Jacob. I should really start trying harder at faking things.

"Jacob?" she whispered softly. Her voice didn't seem nearly as angry as I thought it would be.

I tried to slow my oxygen intake, but thinking about her in this way overwhelmed me to new heights. There was no way I had just cared about someone's _bodily functions_ whose name wasn't Bella Swan. Hell, I didn't even care about my own. Maybe I was just so heartbroken I would have taken any girl's pity as an opportunity to score some sympathy. Who was I kidding? If I even considered such a thing, Sam Uley would sling my ass halfway across the ocean and make me swim back—injured or not.

"I should go," she said hesitantly, quickly letting go of my hand. I felt empty now, almost like I longed for her touch again, but I was sure any girl would have evoked the same feeling from me in a similar situation.

As Leah got up off the floor, I felt her glare on me. Did she know I was awake and just pretending to be asleep?

"If you ever say anything to anyone about what just happened," she growled in her usual bitter tone. "I will cut off your nuts and wear them as earrings!"

Yeah, she knew I was awake, or at least she assumed. But that was Leah, her dry and sarcastic voice, with a hint of affection buried deep within it, just to let you know she cared a little. I could see now how much damage Sam had really done to her at this point, and part of me felt sorry for her—just for her and I couldn't help when a small smile sparked across my face. I crossed my fingers, hoping she wouldn't notice my gesture in the shadows of my small room, but that flame quickly flickered out once she spoke.

"Jacob Black, so help me God," she said through what I could tell were her bared teeth.

I relaxed my face and didn't move a muscle further. She glowered at me for a whole three seconds and stomped out of the room, closing the door behind her with a thud.

I opened my sleepy eyes and looked around, imagining her face as it had been, just inches from mine, no less than ten seconds ago. I squeezed my fingers around the air weakly, almost as if I'd been expecting her delicate hand to close the gap in between. Disappointment spread throughout my body when I felt nothing more than my own skin and heat. Why was I so frustrated with myself for letting her leave the way she did? I was no where near being over Bella, so why would I try to chase after someone else, let alone, Leah Clearwater?

I blamed the morphine as I closed my eyes and drifted back into the darkness my eyelids provided, leaving one world behind for another. Dreams were everything I needed to forget the pain in both my body and my heart, because in my world, Bella loved me back.


	2. Chapter 2: Regret

Sitting outside of Jacob's house, hearing his excruciating screams as that bloodsucker was re-breaking the bones in his fragile body, is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

I could have taken that leech. I didn't need his help. But no, his pompous, arrogant ass had to get in the way! I cringed as another blood curdling scream echoed through the house. How much more of this could he take? It should be me, not him.

I wheeled Billy back into the house as that fucking leech finally left, and Bella was not too far behind him. God, he'd left his filthy stench everywhere! I growled deep in my throat as I slammed the door behind us to let the rest of the pack know that they weren't welcome. I needed time to talk to Billy—gather my thoughts. I parked him in his wheelchair in the living room and sat across from him on the couch, sighing as I looked up at him. Hopefully the regret wasn't as evident on my face as it was in my heart.

"He's in a lot of pain, Leah," Billy stated matter-of-factly.

"But you think he's going to be okay, though, right?" I sighed as I replayed the day's events in my mind. "He's so stubborn! I could have easily taken that thing, you know." I fidgeted with my hands, waiting for Billy to continue.

He sighed before answering, almost inaudibly. "Yeah, Leah. I know." He paused before continuing, "That newborn got him good," He winced slightly as he choked out that last bit, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. I reached a shaky hand out to him, gently patting his shoulder in comfort. He glanced up at me with a small, appreciative smile pulling at his lips. I returned the smile before setting my hand back in my lap, wrestling with my fingers again.

I sat there for a moment, lost in thought; the two sides of myself battling with each other.

_Go see Jake, check on him. Don't go in there; he doesn't want your sympathy. Apologize. Tell him how sorry you are. No...Leah doesn't do sorry. _

I stood, determination etched on my face. I was going to tell Jake how much of an asshole he was and how wrong he was to mess with _my_ kill. I was going to ream him out like I never had before.

As I took a deliberate step towards Jacob's bedroom, Billy grabbed my arm. I turned to face him, and my heart instantly fractured. The look in his eyes made me want to crumble to the floor and cry. I took a deep breath as he silently pleaded with me to take it easy on his son. I nodded curtly and slowly made my way to Jacob's room.

I opened the door slowly, silently, so I wouldn't wake him if he was sleeping. I tip-toed to his bedside as quietly as possible. I said nothing as I glared down at him, wanting to scream at him for being such an idiot. That is, until I saw his tear stained cheeks. I couldn't hurt a man who had been brought to tears by that undeserving leech loving cunt, Bella Swan.

Knelling by his bed, I could tell he was only pretending to be asleep. That was okay, I could play his little game, too. I sat there, silently sorting through my thoughts for a moment. I wished he would just say something to make it easier for me to figure out what I should say.

"Jacob, I'm sorry," I blurted out._ Whoa. Did I just say that? When did I go soft?_ "Jacob, I never meant for this to happen." _This should be me, not you._ "I was stupid. I thought I had something to prove, and it caused you to suffer something that should have been my fate—maybe even worse." I paused in order to keep my emotions in check before I continued. "I wish you could understand the way I feel, Jake," I mumbled, holding back the tears that were threatening to spring from my eyes.

I sighed heavily before I moved forward. "I mean, that was...I just...I've really messed things up for you, haven't I?" I didn't expect him to answer. And I was right, he didn't. "Jacob...I'm...I'm sorry," I said as I tentatively took his hand in mine.

"I wish there was something I could do for you. Anything." I frowned as I ran my fingers gently across his knuckles. "I know you're going to be in a lot of pain when that drip runs out," I joked, trying to lighten the suddenly heavy mood.

I tightened my grip on his hand, my heart pounding in my chest. This was the first time I had touched a man since Sam. _What am I doing?_ I glanced up at Jacob's face as his breathing hitched. _Damn it, I knew he was awake._

"Jacob?" I whispered, hoping he would answer. I dropped my head again when he didn't. "I should go." I quickly let go of his hand and stood, glaring down at him. Those damn tears were still trying to escape again.

"If you ever say anything to anyone about what just happened," I growled through bared teeth, "I will cut off your nuts and wear them as earrings."

I wanted to slap the smile right off his face. He thought I was kidding. "Jacob Black, so help me, God . . ." I forced out, glaring down at him before stomping out of the room. _That self righteous bastard! Who the hell does he think he is?_

I stormed out of the house, completely ignoring Billy as I huffed past him. Outside, the boys were still gathered. Yes, boys; I wouldn't call any of them men. I pushed my way through, ignoring their stares and the shit that came out of Paul's mouth as I nearly knocked him over in my haste to leave. It was bad enough that Jacob almost heard me cry; if the rest of them knew, they would never let me live it down.


	3. Chapter 3: Never Enough

I burst into a sprint, as I tried to get as far away as possible. As I ran through the trees, my vision was a blur of green. I reached a spot far enough away from the pack that they couldn't hear me break down. I finally gave in to the emotions that had been weighing on my heart the entire evening. As the tears began to fall, I exploded into wolf form, shredding my clothes. I lay on my side, curling into a ball, bringing my tail to my nose and letting the tears spill freely.

_Did I seriously just apologize to Jacob Black? What the hell is going on with me?_

I would blame it on PMS, but that was obviously not the reason.

_I'm not pregnant._ I laughed at the notion. _I haven't gotten laid in God knows how long! I might as well become a born-again virgin. No one is ever going to want the freaky wolf girl, _I snorted. _Focus, Leah! You're getting off track. _

Sighing heavily, I forced myself to stand. I was hesitant to continue this line of thinking, seeing as one of the boys could phase. I didn't want them to know what was going on. I didn't want them to know what I was feeling. They couldn't know what I was feeling. Fuck, I didn't even know how I felt. The last thing I needed was the input of a bunch of juvenile idiots! Speaking of the devil, Seth phased. I quickly voided my mind of all emotion.

"_Hey, Leah!"_ Seth thought, a little too chipper for my liking.

"_Hey, Seth." Shit, that wasn't very convincing._

I could see him glancing down, scratching at the ground. _"Are you okay?"_ I asked, hoping to keep the subject of our conversation away from me.

"_Um . . . yeah . . . I just—Leah, . . . are you okay? I mean . . . you seemed upset when you left Billy's house."_ He was still focused on the ground, avoiding eye contact. It was a nervous tick of his.

I smiled, trying to convey content, if not happy thoughts. "_Yeah, Seth. I'm fine,"_ I lied, laughing softly. He seemed so tense. I turned and ran towards him.

"_Well...okay. If you say so."_ He smiled timidly.

I nudged his shoulder with my own as I reached his side. "_Wanna do me a favor, Seth?"_

He has always been so eager to please. I knew this would take his mind off me and get him out of my fur for a couple minutes. I just needed some time alone.

He glanced up at me, a twinkle in his eye. "_Of course! Anything you need, Leah!" _He was grinning, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

Seth has always had this effect on me. No matter what kind of mood I'm in, he always puts a smile on my face. "_Well, I kind of shredded my clothes earlier. Wanna run back to the house and grab me something to put on?"_

He was gone before I could even blink. "_Sure, sis! I'll be back in a flash!"_

I laughed softly before replying. "_My dresses are in the top drawer of my dresser, Seth!"_

What I wouldn't give to be that young and naïve again. Seth reached the edge of the forest, and I soon felt him shimmer into human form. I dropped to the forest floor instantaneously, physically exhausted and emotionally drained. I only had minutes to pull myself together before Seth came back with my dress.

_How am I going to be able to hide these feelings? What are these feelings? It's an impossible task; I can't keep this off my mind. _

I stood with a huff, turned towards home, and sprinted as fast as my legs would carry me. I slowed my pace as my house came into view. I lingered just inside the tree line, sitting on my haunches as I waited for Seth. He didn't keep me waiting long. I whimpered softly to let him know I was there, stepping into view as he looked up.

I really hoped he didn't phase, because there was no way I was going to be able to block him out any longer. He didn't disappoint as he laid my dress at my feet, ruffling my fur with a smile before heading back inside.

I leaned down, gently took the dress between my teeth and stepped back into the coverage of the forest. I dropped the dress behind a tree and glanced around quickly to make sure no one was looking. When I was satisfied that I was alone, I phased and hastily pulled my dress on. With a heavy sigh, I headed towards the house, hoping I didn't cross paths with Mom or Seth.

I was in luck. The house was dark as I snuck through the front door, locking it behind me. I walked briskly to my room, ducked inside and closed the door behind me. I hastily took off my dress and threw it on the floor. I found a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top, sliding them on before falling back onto my bed. I let out a loud groan as my feet dangled off the edge. I lay there in the dark, staring up at the ceiling, completely lost in thought.

_I thought I had lost my ability to feel, but I'm pretty sure I felt something for Jacob tonight. I _know_ I felt something for Jacob tonight. But why? I mean...It's fucking Jacob! I despise him! _

I let out a frustrated groan as I turned over onto my side, tucking the pillow between my arm and my head.

_Let's say, hypothetically speaking of course...that I do like Jake, and he likes me. What would come of a relationship between us? What if he imprints?_

I pulled my knees up to my chest as a silent tear streamed down my cheek. My heart was breaking, and I gingerly placed my hand over the steady beat of it, as if to hold the pieces of my heart together.

_I can't be with Jacob, regardless of my feelings for him. If he imprinted on someone else, like Sam did, I just couldn't take it. I'd happily let the Cullens have me for breakfast before suffering that kind of heartache again. I can't believe I'm even considering the notion of being with Jacob Black! Am I a fucking idiot? Obviously my heart is a masochist. It must love being shattered. Fucking men. Maybe I should just be a lesbian._

I laughed as my thoughts drifted off to what it would be like to date a woman.

_Oh, hell, no! I would rather be celibate than deal with that drama! Ugh. Why does love have to be so damn complicated? Why does everything have to be so damn complicated?_

I sat up, suddenly very angry at the world. My whole body was shaking and I allowed a low growl to escape through bared teeth. "Fuck this. Fuck him. Fuck Sam." I picked up my pillow, throwing it across the room as I screamed, "And fuck love!" I laughed hysterically as the pillow hit my vanity, knocking its contents onto the floor—a chaotic mess of shattered glass and spilled perfume.

I was still laughing, tears streaming from my eyes as I threw myself off the bed. I placed my hands on the top of my dresser, leaning down to look in the mirror. I sobbed harder as I saw the hideous reflection looking back at me. I whispered morbidly, almost inaudibly, "Nobody will _ever_ love you, Leah. You'll never be good enough, deserving enough."

My body began to shake even harder, and I knew I was about to phase. I took one last look in the mirror and snapped, bringing my fist back and punching it with every ounce of energy I had left in my body. I screamed incomprehensibly as I wiped the tears from my face, ignoring the blood that was flowing from my hand. I sighed as I glanced down at my dresser, covered in crimson shards of broken glass.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice I wasn't alone until my mom placed her hand on my shoulder. I whipped around, nearly knocking her over in the process. The look of pity in her eyes took my breath away. Even my own mother believed that I would spend the rest of eternity alone.

_I can't stand it here anymore,_ I thought._ I can't be around these people._

I managed to choke out an apology as I jumped out my window, phasing mid-air and hitting the ground on all fours.

I ran faster than I ever had before. I ran to get away from this town, and these people. I ran to take away the pain. I ran until I didn't recognize my surroundings and I had no idea where I was. I finally allowed myself to really break down, lying on my side as my body convulsed with the strength of my sobs.


	4. Chapter 4: Miserable

I opened my eyes, squinting as my room was overpowered by sunlight. "What time is it?" I uttered, rolling over to look at the clock.

"Mother fucker!" I cried out, groveling in pain as I clenched my right side with my left hand. I ran my fingers over the bandages wrapped tightly around my chest and abdomen.

There were no words to describe how miserable I was feeling today. The unbearable pain running throughout my entire body only hurt worse when I had realized Carlisle hadn't even bothered to come back and put me on more of those damn fluids.

"Fucking kill me, please!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as another sharp pain shot through my arm.

I heard my dad and Sam scrambling through the house, nearly ripping my bedroom door off its hinges in an attempt to get to me.

"Jacob!" Sam shouted, abandoning my dad in the doorway as he came to my side. His eyes quickly scanned over my body and I was becoming slightly frustrated with him. He looked like an idiot standing there with his eyes flashing in crazy directions as if he was missing something.

I gritted my teeth, trying to breathe and be angry at the same time. "I. Need. Morphine."

Sam looked up at the empty IV bag dangling above my head. He nodded once. "I'll call him right now, Jacob. Hang tight."

Sam sprinted back through the doorway, leaping over my dad who was sitting petrified in his chair.

I was breathing heavily, and I knew it scared him. I hated that. I didn't want to be like this in front of him. It made me feel like less of a man.

"Dad," I mumbled, trying to fight back the urge to scream again.

I knew if I had laid absolutely still, it wouldn't hurt as badly, but it _still_ hurt. I knew that was mainly the reason I kept moving, because it was so uncomfortable I _had_ to move, causing myself even more pain than was absolutely necessary.

"Jacob, stay still," he commanded, rolling his wheelchair closer to my side.

I threw my head back into my pillow and squeezed my eyes shut, willing the pain to go away. That was a big wish.

I bit down hard on my lip, just trying to be strong while he was still in the room. The pain was getting stronger; this time it came in what felt like thirty foot waves. When I recognized the taste of blood on my tongue, I grazed my teeth over my lip and sucked back the warm liquid pooling from my mouth. The taste was awful. Like fucking metal. How could vampires love this stuff? Why the hell was I thinking about them, anyway? Oh, right. The blood.

When I opened my eyes again, Doctor Leech was standing over me.

"Is the pain that unbearable, Jacob?" he asked me in his usual smooth, comforting voice. Yeah, the same voice he probably used to talk Bella into turning herself into one of them. The sheer thought disgusted me, but at least I was distracted from the pain long enough for the bloodsucker to shove a needle into my arm, pushing its contents into a bulging vein.

I grumbled as my body tensed. "What the fuck?" I shouted angrily at him.

"Relax, Jacob. This will take the pain away much more quickly than the morphine will." He put his hand on my chest, and I was sure that with his ungodly force, he would crush me all over again, but he didn't. It felt like the pressure of a normal human's strength pinning me to the bed, just colder. I wondered how long it actually took him to get that down pat. A chill ran up my spine, and he quickly took his hand away.

"You shouldn't be cold," the doctor laughed humorously, taking out a full liter of morphine from his bag, replacing the drip with the old one.

I watched him, peeved by his presence and his stench, but somehow still grateful for his services. The pain was a dull ache now, and I finally relaxed when he backed away from me.

"This should hold you over for the rest of the day," he sighed, bringing his stone cold lips into a yet again, perfect smile. I guessed that somewhere deep, and I mean deep inside me, I envied them. They were flawless—beautiful, even. I didn't like how they ate, but that just seemed like such a small part of what they were.

Damn. I was starting to lose my mind again, but Sam helped relieve me from my tentative thinking when I saw him appear in the doorway behind Carlisle.

"Are we good here?" Sam asked him rudely. I smiled just a little. Sam always commanded authority, regardless of who it was. He needed to be constantly reminded that everyone else was immune to his Alpha voice and wouldn't buckle under it like those in the pack would.

"We're good." Carlisle grinned, gathering his things before taking a few short steps past my father to the door. "If you need anything else," he slowly began, "you know how to reach me."

As Sam nodded, Carlisle was cranking the engine to his Mercedes a second later.

"You think he would at least act human while he's here," Sam growled, shortly thereafter turning his attention in another direction. "Do you feel any better?" he asked, hovering over me as he glared down like I had done something wrong.

_Way to make me feel even more stressed out Sam._ I rolled my eyes. I just wanted everyone to go away and leave me alone.

I inhaled deeply, feeling my ribs expanding with every ounce of air that entered my lungs. It didn't hurt as badly as I thought it would, but now my mind had gone in a completely new direction.

"Where is Leah?" I mumbled not realizing what I had actually asked.

"Leah?" Sam questioned me, his brows creasing together like like he was surprised by a simple question.

"That's what I asked, isn't it?" I wasn't about to take anymore bullshit or sugar coat anything I said to him like he was child I had to watch my mouth around. Not today. I deserved to do that much if I couldn't do anything else in my condition.

I saw Sam's face turn red at my comment. I could tell he was trying hard not to say something hurtful—more or less, something he didn't mean, but wanted to. I laughed to myself. This was kind of fun—making Sam suffer—making him feel guilty for wanting to say exactly what he thought of me. I knew he hated holding his tongue. It just wasn't him anymore. He'd rather say it out loud than do something physical. I guess that's where he and Paul were different.

Ever since Emily's accident, Sam had tried being more cautious with his anger and walk away if he thought he couldn't handle himself accordingly.

_Ever since Emily. Oh my God, that could have been Leah._

He stared at me, an apparent flash of irritability in his tone. "I don't keep tabs on where the hell everyone is when they're not on duty, Jacob."

I snorted, disappointed by his answer. "It was just a question, Sam."

My dad moved his chair and I realized he had been there the entire time. I felt embarrassed he'd even been in the same room while I was having this argument with Sam.

"Something upset her last night, I suppose," my dad said briefly. He was staring intently in my direction. "Sue called me this morning and asked if I had seen her after she had left our place last night." He shook his head with a frustrated expression on his face. "I told her no, and asked why. She said she was worried because Leah phased right out of her bedroom window at two in the morning and hasn't come back since."

I started to get up, feeling somehow responsible for the way things went the previous night. "We've got to go after her!"

"_We_ are not doing anything, Jacob." Sam pushed me back, holding me down to the bed with one large hand. Drat! He knew I was too weak at this point to fight him off. Damn him and his overpowering advantages. "I'll send Paul and Jared to go look for her later."

I relaxed as best I could, trying not to think about the possibility something had happened to Leah. Hell, it didn't even matter I was too full of my own self-pride to admit that I even cared; I was genuinely worried. Even more so now she had confused the hell out of me last night with the sympathy card she'd played. I didn't know if I should have bought it or not. I couldn't understand why I felt this way. It was making me dizzy, and I suddenly felt sick. There was a hollow pit in my stomach that twisted and turned my insides until they were nothing more than a new kind of pain I had only felt one other time in my life. That time had been when I thought Bella was dead.

Thinking about Leah, being dead, it made me cringe. My heart sped up in my chest, and I knew the look on my face was a dead giveaway to my feelings. Perhaps not to what I was really thinking, but my dad certainly recognized it as his cue to leave and take Sam with him.

He wheeled himself to the door, stopping to look back at the both of us. "Sam, let's let him get some rest."

Sam took his hand off my chest, giving me one last look of disapproval before leaving. My dad pushed himself into the hallway, Sam following behind him shortly after. He kept his eyes on me the entire time before closing the door quietly and then I was alone again.

I looked down and over at the alarm clock propped up on a pile of dirty clothes and a book on auto-mechanics.

"Twelve fifteen," I grumbled, unsatisfied that I couldn't even get out of bed to pee.

I suddenly didn't feel tired anymore. I wanted to get up. I wanted to phase and go look for Leah myself. I knew Sam would take his sweet time gathering a search party for her.

Even with this thought, I had to piss really bad. It hit me suddenly, and I panicked. What was I supposed to do? I certainly wasn't going to call for Sam to come back in the room to come help me. That was revolting—Pack or no pack, there was no way I was going to ask someone to carry me to the bathroom.

I hated being this helpless. I was a damn man for Christ's sake.

Swallowing my pride, I snatched an empty two liter bottle from my left side and pushed the cover back off me, reaching inside the slit of my boxers. I cringed at the thought that I was actually about to urinate in a bottle.


	5. Chapter 5: Fresh Start

I awoke with the sun, having cried myself to sleep the night before. I languidly stretched out all four of my limbs before opening my eyes, squinting against the brightness of the sun. I rolled over onto my stomach, shaking my head in the process, trying to wake myself up a bit.

_What the fuck happened? Where am I? _

I glanced around as I stumbled to my feet, completely perplexed as to where I was. I couldn't believe I had slept out in the woods all night.

_Ah . . . I remember now. _I played through the images of the incident in my room the evening before, wincing slightly as I got to the part with my mother.

_Never enough, Leah. Never enough. _I whimpered softly as my growling stomach interrupted my thoughts.

_Fuck, I'm hungry! No clothes . . . no shoes . . . no fucking money. I guess I'm just gonna have to eat wolf-style. Damn, that sucks._

I let out a loud groan as I turned and ran deeper into the woods. I kept my nose on the ground, searching for the scent of something halfway appetizing. That was certainly wishful thinking I guess. As I came across a herd of deer, my legs began to move on their own accord. I allowed my wolf instincts to take over, leaving my human self behind. I lunged efficiently at the largest buck, taking him down easily. He hadn't even seen me coming but I snapped his neck quickly anyway so he wouldn't feel any unnecessary pain. As my razor sharp teeth cut into the skin and muscle of my kill's flank, I pushed my human thoughts aside and tried to react instinctively.

Once I'd finally had my fill, I headed south. I could hear a river rippling in the distance and really needed to wash the blood off of myself. I trotted at a slow steady pace, trying to keep my mind off of the events of the day before. I failed miserably.

_This is going to be SO much different. _I glanced around at the trees, trying to memorize my new home. _How will I ever get used to this? Never eating with a fork again . . . never wearing clothes again . . . walking around on all fours for the rest of eternity? _My thoughts became melancholy as Jacob's face, broken and shattered, clouded my head. _Never seeing him again . . ._

I groaned happily as the smell of fresh water filled my nostrils and instantly boosted my mood. All thoughts of Jacob banished as I trotted more excitedly, with a wolfish grin towards the water's edge. I leaped in without a care once I'd reached the river. Submerging my entire body beneath the rushing water, I closed my eyes, turning against the force of the current. I stayed there for a moment — enjoying the simple pleasure of a bath before standing to my full height. I took in a lungful of air before plunging my muzzle into the water and washing off the blood. I emerged fresh and clean before making my way back to the riverbank where I laid lazily, basking in the warmth that the high noon sun brought with its presence. I occasionally lapped at the water — allowing it to drench my parched throat.

_This isn't as bad as I thought it would be. _I smiled, my first genuine smile in God only knows how many years. _No pain, no annoying boys constantly filling my head _—_ just content silence._

I must have jinxed myself because in the next instant, Paul and Jared's thoughts filled my head. I tried to clear my mind — void it of all thoughts, hoping to go unnoticed.

_Leah? _Jared thought, strictly business as usual.

_Dude, she ran off! Do you really think she's gonna answer you just like that? Dipshit . . . _Paul muttered as he took the lead.

I couldn't help but bark a laugh at his comment. He knew me too well.

_Come and get me boys! _I taunted them as I stood, knowing that they were miles and miles away. There was no way they would ever catch me. Not only was I way faster than them, but I also had a head start.

_Leah! Wait up! What's going on? _Jared actually seemed genuinely concerned about why I had run away. He picked up his speed, digging his nails into the mossy ground to propel himself forward as he headed in my general direction. Paul followed after him with an aggravated huff.

_Wait up? Psst. When have I ever waited for you assholes? Catch me if you can! _With that, I turned and darted into the trees. I headed due west — following the riverbank; my muscles at peak performance as they pushed me faster than I had ever ran before. Must have been the wolf diet; it does the body good.

_Leah! Slow the fuck down! Seriously! _Paul practically shouted at me. Who the hell did he think he was — telling me what to do like he was my mother?

_I'm not going back! Just give up now and go back home. You're never going to catch me! _I spit back with just as much anger.

I ran for a couple miles, listening to Paul swearing constantly and Jared telling him to calm the fuck down. I couldn't take it anymore. I built a brick wall around my mind, trying to completely block them out. I didn't know if it had worked, but I was hoping they couldn't still see my thoughts. I sprung into the water from the north bank, laughing hysterically as I turned and headed back east, following the flow of the water. I knew they would lose my scent at the riverbank with the constantly moving current.

I swam a good ten miles, snatching up a couple fish on the way to keep myself energized for the long run I knew I had ahead of me. I hopped out of the river nonchalantly onto the south bank. As my paws hit the rocky surface, I bent my knees slightly and shook out my coat. I barked out a smug laugh as I headed south.

I ran until I was in a location that would be completely instinctive and unrecognizable to them through my thoughts. Hidden by the coverage the forest provided, I sat back on my haunches and let my guard down.

_Where are you guys at? _I practically shouted, cockiness filling my thoughts. I saw them standing, looks of utter bewilderment on their faces as they stared at the river, deciding which direction to go.

_What the fuck, Leah? _It was Jared this time. Man, I really must have done something wrong to piss him off!

_Yeah, Leah! What the fuck? Why are you being so damn difficult? Just tell us where you are so we can bring you home! _Paul was more than irritated with me. Livid would be a good word to describe his thoughts at the moment.

_I already told you. Don't you idiots listen to a God damn word I say? I'm not going back! So give up already and leave me alone! Get the hell out of here and go back home! _I poured as much animosity into my thoughts as I possibly could.

_Leah . . .You know we can't go back without you! Sam will slaughter us! _Jared actually sounded worried. It's not like Sam would actually hurt them — intentionally.

I laughed hysterically, rolling onto my back as my legs dangled carelessly in the air._ I _g_uess you two are dead meat then! _

_That's not fucking funny, Leah! Quit being such a stubborn ass bitch and get your sorry butt back home! _I think that by now, Paul was about ready to rip my face. Ha. I'd like to see him try!

I sat back up and stated in the most defiant voice I could muster. _No! I'm not going back. You can chase after me all you want but you know I'll just continuously outrun AND outsmart your sorry asses! Send the whole pack if you want! I don't care! _I stood, preparing myself to phase. _Go back to your families. Go back to the pack. It's where you belong. _

With those final words, I phased into human form. I kind of screwed myself by shredding my clothes the day prior.

I found a soft spot of grass and laid back on it, looking up at the bright summer sky, completely naked. I reverted back to my childhood as I began making shapes out of the clouds. I allowed myself this time to let my thoughts drift off to _him_, a soft smile pulling at my lips as I did.


	6. Chapter 6: Responsibilities

When I opened my eyes for a second time, I was even surprised I had fallen asleep. That was typical though. When I could do nothing else but think, I was out like a light in less than 30 minutes. But why the hell were my thoughts always leading in one direction — to Leah? I couldn't help but feel like a small part of me was missing now that she was gone. And as hard as I tried not to, I wondered where she was.

I sensed Sam still hadn't sent someone to go after her. And even if they were looking for her by some small chance, she was entirely too stubborn to come back if they just _asked_ her to. Hell, she was just as consumed in her own pride as I was. They'd have to tie her down and haul her back on logs before she came home.

The thought slapped a huge ass grin across my face. I was actually having fun entertaining myself in the entire four minutes and twenty-three seconds I had been awake. But that didn't stop me from thinking about worse possibilities.

I scanned my brain for something — anything that would keep my mind away from the dreadful subject, but it was just no use when I seemed to care more about her than I did my own self.

"Sam!" I choked out as my stomach compressed, making my ribs ache with a dull pain. I closed my eyes tightly, breathing for a moment and gathering myself together before I called out again. "Sam! Dad! Someone!" I used all my energy for the last bit, and tensed against my body's frequent spasms.

It had been more than a sufficient amount of time for someone to answer back. They were probably all outside, frolicking around the yard like idiots, learning some new tricks for Sam. That was okay, I'd have to learn them too.

I huffed, becoming more frustrated with every second that passed. When I finally heard footsteps stomping through the house, I immediately recognized Paul's giant feet.

"Paul!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

The footsteps quicken their pace, coming closer and closer to my bedroom door. I was getting annoyed that it was taking someone so long to answer me. Normally, someone would have been hovering over me the second I woke up.

"Jacob? Are you alright in there?" Paul asked in an out of character voice. I could tell he was faking the nice guy approach, and I knew it wouldn't last long.

"Yeah, just come here," I snorted, glaring at the door as I waited for him to fling it open.

To my disappointment, the door cracked slightly and Paul's big head slipped through. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you need to pee? Sam says to give you —"

"Shut up, Paul, and get in here."

Paul's jaw snapped shut and he quickly scurried inside my room, closing the door behind him.

"Yeah, Jacob, what is it?" He rolled his eyes nonchalantly at me.

I smirked, ignoring his attitude. "Did you find Leah?"

"You're asking about Leah?" he queried, surprised.

I snorted. "I can't be concerned for someone else's well-being without —" I paused, wanting to rip that disgusting look of amusement right off his smug face. "Did you find her . . . or didn't you?" I growled.

"Whoa, Jake, chill the fuck out." He raised his hands in defense. _Yeah, like that was going to protect him from the fury I would unleashed on his ass._

"Tell me where she is!" I barked, springing forward from my bed. I could feel the threads from the bandages ripping apart as my muscles bulged, but I didn't care. I wanted answers, and I wanted them now.

"If Sam finds out I was even in here, and you hurt yourself even worse . . . heads are going to roll, Jake. And by heads, I mean mine."

He admittedly seemed scared. Damn. What the hell did Sam have them doing? Whatever it was, Paul was going to tell me what was going on one way or the other.

"I'm only going to ask you one more time. And then if I don't get the answer I want, I'm going to get up and kick your ass." I waited a few seconds before continuing. "WHERE. IS. LEAH!" I demanded, my teeth clenched so tightly together, not an ounce of breath could get in or out.

"Okay, Jacob, alright already."

He made himself comfortable by yanking an old fold-out chair that had been propped up against the wall. He shook it open and sat in it backwards, folding his arms over the backrest like some kind of an asshole. This wasn't his house. He could at least respect what little furniture we did have.

He sighed, shaking his head. "Jared and I tried everything we could."

"Wait. What are you talking about?" My eyebrows furrowed together. I could feel my temper building inside of me.

"I don't think she's coming back, Jake." He frowned. "She's as stubborn as a damn mule. Sam must have really upset her or something, although she won't tell us what happened." Paul shrugged one shoulder, looking down at the ground, cluttered in my clothes and other junk.

"It wasn't Sam," I said blankly.

Paul's head immediately lifted. "How do you know?"

"Just go. That's all I wanted to know." I turned my face away from him, staring out the window as the sun began to set.

Paul took a moment — wasting my time like he always did — but got up from the chair and sat it back against the wall. He slumped to the door, his palm on the handle, before he turned to me and groaned, "Can you not tell Sam I told you?" He cleared his throat shortly. "About Leah? I mean I really don't think he wanted you to know, and well . . . I'm sure you —"

I looked over at him standing ridiculously in the doorway with one fist clenched. "Do you ever shut up, Paul?" I growled at him, my face inflamed with all the hate I had for annoyances like him today.

"Yeah, right. Sorry, Jake." He ducked out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts again.

I groaned, smashing myself back against the bed, furiously enraged that I could do nothing to stop the events from taking place around me.

I stared up at the ceiling, my entire world spinning in one blurred motion. I felt dizzy again; like I was going to fall off my bed and land face first on the ground. I looked down at my bandages, watching the rise and fall of my chest beneath them. I made an abrupt decision and I moved my left hand to the bottom half of the fabric and ripped it slightly. It tore easily. I smiled and began tearing it even further.

When I had torn the material in two, my right arm broke freely away from my chest. I moved my shoulder slowly and cautiously in a circular motion. The pain was very minimal and I felt like I could handle it, so without a second thought I tore the cloth that bounded my arm, watching it fall to the floor. Outstretching my fingers, I then flexed my right limb outward, trying to get the feeling to come back into it. When I was satisfied, I extended my left arm and carefully separated the IV needle from my vein.

Exhaling, I tugged at the top of the dressings holding my ribs in place, shredding it like paper down the front of my abdomen. I inhaled a deep breath, letting it fill my diaphragm. Only a small ache was present.

I threw back the covers, pulling myself back into a half-ass sitting position. I glared at my right leg. I knew this would have taken the longest to heal, but I didn't care. I _had_ to go after Leah. I couldn't let her feel guilty for doing this to me. I knew that was probably why she'd ran away. She thought I blamed her for what happened because it was obvious that Sam did. I was doing the right thing. It was time I manned up and started swallowing my pride instead of acting like an asshole who only cared about himself. This was a chance to prove that I wasn't about to let Bella crush me under her forceful weight. I was taking back control of everything I was rightfully entitled to. Hell, maybe I'd even rip Sam's throne right out from under him and crown myself the new Alpha. I was — after all — the true leader.

_Okay, maybe that was a little cocky. Focus, Jacob, focus._

I huffed, using all my force to rip apart the thicker gauze held up by two splints on either side to keep my leg straight while it healed. I slid the two thick boards out from my dressing and threw them on the floor, tearing the makeshift cast down over my kneecap and my ankle. Shifting the bandages from underneath me, I anxiously lowered my leg to the ground.

"Here goes nothing," I grumbled, putting slight pressure on my right leg as I moved my body to the edge of the bed. Holding onto the wall, I stood up. Yeah, I did feel a little pain; okay, maybe a lot, but not enough to want to crawl back in bed and grovel over it.

I took a few deep breaths, letting go of the wall and began walking forward.

_Nice._ I thought. _Really nice._

Once I'd taught myself how to walk again, I peeked out the window, looking for any sign of Sam or the rest of the pack as they would try to stop me. When the coast was clear, I grabbed some shorts and strap from my dresser drawer. I cracked the door, looking both ways for any sign of my dad. When the coast was clear, I crept past several rooms in the hallway, darting out the side door leading out to the backyard. I pulled my boxers down over myself, folding them inside my cutoffs and tying them to my leg. Looking around and realizing I was completely alone, I started running, phasing in mid-stride. I zipped off into the woods realizing that there was only one other person in wolf form.

_Leah?_ I asked.

_Didn't I tell you idiots to — Ja . . . Jacob?_ she yelled back at me confused.


	7. Chapter 7: Breakthrough

_Jared and Paul should be gone by now, _I sighed as the sun started to set. I couldn't just lie here naked all night. I was uncomfortable and self-conscious. I needed to phase back.

I let out a loud groan as I forced myself up from the ground, standing on my tiptoes and stretching my hands towards the sky. As I let my arms fall, I pulled the heat from deep within the core of my body and let it surge through my limbs. An instant later, I was on all fours again.

_Ah, _I uttered happily, my lips curling into a wolfish smile. _Much better. _

I headed back north towards the river, suddenly parched from all the running I had been doing. I took my time, allowing my muscles to rest in case I needed to send those silly boys on another wild goose chase anytime soon.

I lapped at the water once I had reached the riverbank, quenching the ungodly inferno in my throat. Once my thirst was satiated, I laid on my stomach, crossed my front paws and rested my head atop them.

I watched as the sun set over the mountains, a mosaic of pink, purple, orange and red. I was completely lost in the silence that surrounded me. But my head perked up as I felt the faint shimmer of someone phasing. My lips curled up malevolently as I let out a snarl.

_Leah? h_e asked.

Before I even thought about who the intruder was, I spat back lividly. _Didn't I tell you idiots to — _And then realization smacked me right in the face. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew who it was, but I had to be sure. _Ja . . . Jacob?_

_Leah, what are you doing out here? Come home . . . please? _His tone was almost sad.

I relaxed, laying my head back on my paws before responding. _La Push isn't my home anymore, Jacob._

His next response was bitter._ Did I not get the memo, or is something going on that I don't know about?_

_Nothing is going on, Jacob. _I thought shortly. _Chill your shit. There isn't anything in La Push anymore, so there's no reason for me to stay. _That came out a little more bitterly than I had intended it to.

_What are you talking about? _I could hear the frustration in his voice._ Look, if you feel guilty for what happened out there — don't. I'm okay. _He tried to reassure me. Had he forgotten that I could feel every ounce of mental and physical anguish he was suffering from?

_It's not just that. What do I have there? I'm a miserable bitch, Jake. I'm sick of constantly putting you guys in a state of mental turmoil. I'm better off alone, _I thought morosely.

I stood, wanting to run to him, but instead I turned in the opposite direction.

_Leah! What's gotten into you? You're stronger than this. I know it. There's got to be something I can __do. Anything. Just name it._

I snorted at the thought. Him? Help me?

_Why the hell would you want to help me, Jacob? We hate each other, remember? _I yelled a bit more forcefully. Was he trying to break me? It sure seemed like it.

_I remember. _He laughed._ But does that really mean I can't at least try to be nice to you?_

He was definitely trying to break me. I whimpered softly as I laid back down, laying my head on the ground, pulling my paws over my muzzle and closing my eyes tight.

_I'd prefer it if you didn't. It would be easier that way. _The strained thought escaped my mind.

_Are you on your period or something, Leah? Stop being so damn stubborn and come back home. _The force of his thoughts were practically crushing me.

It took every last ounce of self-control I had at that moment not to sprint straight back to La Push and pummel his sorry ass! I bet that's what he wanted — to get me back in La Push so they could tie me up and hold me hostage.

_Get the fuck out of my head you good for nothing piece of shit! I won't go back. Like I told Paul and Jared — send the whole fucking pack if you'd like! I'll continue to outrun and outsmart all of you. Go home to your precious leech lover and don't come back. _I finished as I darted off into the forest.

_Leah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please, I'm begging you. _He actually seemed genuinely sorry for what he had said.

I dug my nails into the dirt — halting instantly. _Who are you and what did you do with Jacob? The Jake I knew wouldn't be caught dead begging me — Leah fucking Clearwater — to come home._

_I'm trying to do the right thing here. You're hurting a lot of people, Leah, especially yourself. This is not where you belong. _He was grasping at straws for a good enough excuse to get me to come home . . . but why? What the hell was in it for him?

_Not where I belong? What would you know about where the hell I belong?_

_I know you better than you think I do. _He thought smugly. _You can't just expect to stay out here for the rest of your life._

_I can and WILL stay out here. _I paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. _God! How many times do I have to tell you to leave before you get the point?_

_At least a million. _He snorted._ If you're going to be stubborn then so will I. I can stay out here for as long as you can. _

He was really starting to piss me off. _You pig headed egotistical bastard! Is it your life fucking goal to make me miserable?_

_I make you miserable?_ He asked sincerely concerned.

I sighed before telling him the truth._ No._

His mood lifted a bit with my answer and it threw me for a loop. _Then what are you trying to prove by staying out here in the damn woods?_

_I'm not trying to prove a damn thing! I'm just trying to find some peace — happiness maybe._ He really had no idea what this was about, did he?

_By turning into a tree huger? For Christ's sake, Leah!_

_A tree huger? _I snorted. Did he really just say that? _Seriously Jake I just need time. I . . . I just . . . I can't be around HIM anymore._

_You mean Sam? _He laughed._ Yeah, who wants to learn his stupid tricks anyway?_

I rolled my eyes, completely exasperated before I responded. _Quit trying to act like you're my friend, Jacob. Either you come drag my ass back or leave me alone._

_I'll never catch you. You'll just run away. _He sighed._ But I'm not abandoning you at this point. And I can't even consider the idea of leaving you out here by yourself._

I couldn't help but snort. _Are you worried about me? If you can't catch me . . . then who or what else can?_

_Yes, I'm worried about you. There, I admitted it. _He groaned._ I'm too weak to run after you, but I'm going to stay with you anyway._

_You do realize that as soon as someone finds out that you're not in bed, they're going to come drag your ass back. You can't stay with me forever. _I stated in my usual smart-ass tone.

_Then phase. Stay with me in human form if you're really going to do this. If you really don't want to go back._

_Jake,_ I sighed before thinking softly, regretfully._ I can't. I don't have any clothes, and it wouldn't be okay for me to uproot your life. What about your friends? Family?_

_I can get you clothes, no problem. _He stated adamantly. _They might be slightly big, but hell, it'll work for the time being. _He paused._ And who needs THEM anyway? They don't do anything but bring you down in a good moment._

_Jacob, I can't ask you to give up your life for me. I wont do it. It's not fair! _I sighed, shaking my head in frustration that I was letting my emotions fall right out from underneath me.

_You're giving up yours! _He shouted. _You're practically throwing it on the ground and spitting on it._

_Because I don't want that life any longer! It's different for you. You're happy — content at least. _I spoke begrudgingly.

_Are you kidding me? Leah, my heart is fucking shattered in a million pieces over here. I'm trying to hold myself together the only way I know how._

_By running away from your problems? Well aren't we just a sad fucking pair._

_You're doing it too. Don't be a hypocrite._

_I never said I wasn't. _Again with my usual sarcastic tone. _But you're better than this. You can be happy. You just need time._

_Happy with who? Myself? Yeah, that works out perfectly. I'm destined to spend eternity with myself. _He rolled his eyes at his last thought.

_Jake, you'll imprint one day and you know it. You have to. _I thought sadly._  
_

_I HAVE to? Who says I can't like gravity just the way it is?  
_

_So what? We're just gonna run off? Where will we go? We have nowhere to live! No money! How will we eat? It just doesn't seem possible. _I rambled, not knowing what else to say._  
_

_Then give up this bullshit, Leah. Fuck Sam and the rest of the pack. Be happy for you — not someone else.  
_

_I don't want to go back, _I practically whined._  
_

_Fine. At least let me come to you.  
_

_I'm miles away, Jacob! You'll never make it to me in your current condition.  
_

_You don't have a single ounce of faith in me, do you? _He challenged me._  
_

_Fine. You think you can make it here, come on. I won't send you away. _If that was what he wanted, I wasn't going to stop him._  
_

_I'll be there, just let me run back and grab some you some clothes._

_You do what you gotta do, Jake. You know how to reach me._

And with that, he phased back into human form.


	8. Chapter 8: Unsure

I left Leah behind as I shifted back into human form. It was just too difficult for me to run long distances. My right shoulder still hurt like hell, so I decided to run the rest of the way back on two legs instead of four. When I reached the tree line, I waited beneath the shadows of the canopy hovering above me, for any sign that Sam and the pack had discovered that I'd escaped. Seeing no one around, I marched up the slight embankment to the back porch and took the first step.

"Bella, let me bite you . . . just this once," I heard Jared mimicking in the front yard.

A loud burst of laughter echoed from five others and my curiosity peaked. I crept around the side of the house to get a glimpse of what they were doing, when I saw Paul interrupt them.

"Okay, okay. Now who am I?" he chuckled, standing up straight with his chest stuck out. "Hello Bella," he began in a deep voice not like his usual, "Would you like to . . . make out sometime? You know, before you turn into a vampire and I'll have absolutely no chance of ever scoring with a girl again?"

"Oh that is so Jacob," Embry guffawed, holding his gut as he did. The rest of the gang joined in, including Sam; what a surprise.

My face turned red with embarrassment, leaving me with only two choices. I could run right over and stomp their asses in the dirt, _or_ I could go in the house, get some clothes and meet Leah in less than five minutes. I weighed my options carefully. I wanted to have it both ways, but I couldn't leave her waiting in the woods for an absurd amount of time, so I let it go. Just like that, the wrath I had held onto the moment before, erased itself from my body as I turned toward the backyard.

_It's better this way,_ I reassured myself.

Easily jogging up the stairs onto the porch, I slowly opened the door, looking for anyone who might have acted as a witness and tried to stop me. Scanning both directions, I leaped in the doorway and went straight to my bedroom where I fumbled through my closet, looking for some older clothes from before my transformation. I grabbed a plain gray t-shirt, sniffed it, and threw it over my shoulder. I knew if it smelled anything like me, Leah wouldn't wear it, so it was better to be safe than sorry. Then I dug through a pile of pants I hadn't touched in months, and found a pair of old sweats with a draw string in the waistline. I knew my clothes would be extremely large on her, but hopefully she could tighten it securely enough around her so they wouldn't fall off — even as much as I wanted them too.

Shortly afterward, I found myself in the hallway again. As I was about to leave, I thought of something logical.

_Leah has got to be starving,_ I said to myself.

Backing up, I strolled into the kitchen as casually as Paul would have to help himself to our food. I was still trying to be cautious incase anyone decided to come inside before I could get out again, so I moved quickly.

I grabbed a new loaf of bread off the microwave, tossing it onto the table. Opening the refrigerator, I slapped two packs of both turkey and ham on the counter, grabbing the mayonnaise jar from the side shelf. Swiping a knife from the dish drainer, I unscrewed the top and sat out 12 pieces of bread in two back to back rows. Slathering the spread on one slice, I slapped a piece of meat on top, and did so for every other one with a condiment on it. Once I had spread mayonnaise on the other slices, I blanketed ham over them and placed the bare sides of bread on every half-made sandwich.

Rambling through the bottom cabinets, I finally found one of my sister's old school lunchboxes. Grabbing some Ziploc bags from a drawer, I packaged the six sandwiches and put them inside the box, zipping it closed.

I didn't have time to clean up my mess before I heard someone opening the front door, so I immediately darted out the way I came. With the bag in one hand and clothes in the other, I sprinted into the woods. Pulling my shorts down, I took the strap out of my pocket and tied the clothing to my leg. I knew this would be more difficult to carry, but what other choice did I have?

I sat the bag on the ground and phased, flying into the air and landing on all fours again. I trotted over to the lunchbox, grasping the handle between my teeth as I ran deeper into the forest.

_Jacob?_ Leah asked when she felt me in her head. She sounded a bit concerned.

I snickered, trying to hide my resentment for leaving her alone so long. _Yeah, it's me. No worries._

_Worried? I wasn't worried,_ she scoffed. _I was actually hoping you wouldn't come back._

_Oh well, I can turn around if you __—_

_No!_ she interrupted. _I mean . . . do you what you want. I don't care, _she snarled.

_Is Leah getting all soft on me? _I teased her playfully.

_Shut up Jacob, it's not funny. _It sounded like she was pouting.

Girls are so sensitive. I certainly didn't mean to hurt her feelings.

_Hey, I'm just trying to make you laugh._ I was trying to sound somewhere in between sympathetic and bitter. I wondered if it worked?

_Yeah? Well it's not working._

There was my answer.

_I guess I should cross comedian off my list then,_ I sighed in mock disappointment.

_You have a list? _she asked inquisitively.

I laughed at little. _As much as you love sarcasm, you sure as hell can't tell when someone's using it._

_Yeah, _she grumbled. _Right. Stupid question._ She rolled her eyes as her legs collapsed beneath her, letting out an exasperated groaned before laying her head between her paws.

I panted, pushing my legs to move faster. _I'm almost there._

_You brought me clothes, right?_

_Just like I said I would,_ I answered proudly.

_Great,_ she murmured, clearly annoyed.

_Are you getting tired of being a wolf yet? _I joked.

_No,_ she answered dryly.

I could tell it was a lie, but I didn't respond; I just kept running.

She huffed in apparent frustration. _Jacob, you really shouldn't push yourself so hard. I can feel your __—__ it's really uncomfortable._

She acted like she couldn't take a few minutes of pain when she had spent the last few months torturing the pack with her agonizing thoughts of Sam. The nerve of some women!

_You won't have to feel it much longer, Leah, so stop your whining._

_I'm not whining, and thanks for insulting me,_ she mumbled back.

_You're welcome,_ I grunted smugly.

Damn, I was turning into a real asshole. If Leah disliked me before, she was really going to hate me now. With my current attitude, I was going no where fast. I hated myself for acting like this toward her, but I just didn't know what I wanted.

I phased not too far from where she was, pulling my shorts over myself, and walking into the clearing with clothes and and the lunchbox in hand. She stood up at my approach.

"Here," I said, motioning for her to take the clothes that were folded in my right arm. "It's the best I could find."

She snorted, staring at me.

"Oh. Right," I added, dropping the outfit on the ground at her feet and walking away. "Don't worry; you won't catch me looking at you," I noted, trumping off into the dark woods.

I made a snide comment to myself. _Like I haven't seen her naked a hundred times before._

I was glad I hadn't been in wolf-form — for the sake of my health, anyway.


	9. Chapter 9: The Truth

I waited with my back turned for nearly ten whole minutes. The sun had almost faded completely from the sky and I was getting bored. Picking up a stick off the ground, I started whacking the lower branches of pines that surrounded me.

"What the hell are you doing? Trying to pick a fight with a fucking tree?" Leah's voice came from behind me.

I dropped the sprig quickly and turned to her. "No, but I didn't realize it took ten minutes put clothes on."

"Maybe I just wanted to keep you waiting," she snickered, raising her brow.

I shook my head, smiling. Man, what a cocky bitch.

"So what's in the bag?" she questioned, acknowledging the blue lunchbox on the ground.

"Oh, that?" I pointed. "I just thought you might be hungry or something."

She eyed me suspiciously. "Since when are you concerned about my appetite?"

What was with her comments today? She had no one to impress out here. I answered anyway.

"Since I remembered that you've been in the woods for almost twenty-four hours without a single meal."

She crossed her arms. My shirt looked great on her even if it was four or more sizes too large.

"Well that's where you are very wrong, Jacob Black."

"You actually hunted?" I asked, a little disgusted as I thought about the Cullens at the same time.

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes, I did."

"I don't know why you've got to be such a shameless bitch, Leah."

I saw her face flood with red. "Jacob Ephraim Black —"

"That was wrong of me, I'm sorry," I hung my head in shame, "Give me a break before you chew me out again."

"If you deserved a break, I wouldn't have to."

"You don't know a damn thing about what I deserve," I growled, swiping the bag off the ground. "Here, catch." I tossed her the lunchbox. She caught it effortlessly, even with the short second I gave her to react.

"You better be damn glad I caught that," she threatened, her teeth bared at me.

"I know, I know. Or my ass would have been toast." I rolled my eyes unamused.

"That actually sounds really good right now," she admitted, pursing her thick lips together — lips I wanted to kiss.

_Oh my God, did I really just say that?_

She scrambled to unzip the bag. Maybe she wasn't as untamed as I thought she was. I definitely wouldn't point it out. I knew Leah would rather die than acknowledge defeat.

She looked down into the bag, packed to the top with sandwiches. "I think I could eat all of these," she laughed.

"Knock yourself out," I offered.

"Oh no. You're eating too. I'm not going to be the one who has to tell your father you died from starvation because I ate all of our food supply."

"At least you would be going back," I sighed, walking past her. She followed behind me.

"Why do you want me to go back so damn bad?"

I looked at her walking behind me. "You really want me to answer that?"

"If I asked it, then hell yeah I want an answer," she scorned, quickening her pace to match mine.

We reached the grassy clearing, and I could see a full moon in the sky above us. I was thankful for at least that much, and we could certainly use the light.

"You're not some wild animal, Leah," I began. "Yeah, there's water and plenty of food out here, but you'd be alone for the most part."

I took a seat on the ground and she followed suit, sitting in front of me. The moonlight made her look . . . beautiful. I hadn't thought Leah was even pretty for years. Not since Sam had broken her heart and in a nutshell, destroyed her.

"What the hell's your problem?" she snapped when she realized I was staring at her.

_Damn it._

"Nothing. I was . . . never mind." I turned away and looked down at the ground. I took my hand and ran it through the blades of grass like it was hair, laughing at the thought. I was sure she would ask me why I was cracking up like an idiot, but instead I caught her watching me as I did so.

"So tell me what you're thinking," I said after an awkward moment of silence.

"What _— _is Jacob mad that he can't get inside my head?"

I huffed. "Just forget it." I stood up and started to walk away. I was only trying to have a conversation with her, not be nosy.

She got up too and started running after me. "Jacob I was just joking," she pleaded. "Please . . . don't. I mean, don't leave."

I turned around just as she grasped my arm. Her touch was subtle, but urgent at the same time. Her mouth dropped and she stared up at me.

"Alright," I said calmly, retracing my steps back to the place I'd been sitting. She plopped down beside me this time and a silence, apart from the chirping of crickets, soon filled the air again.

"I haven't always been this way," Leah suddenly said as she broke the still between us. "I mean bitter_—_ a bitch." She lowered her head, like it was something she was ashamed of, even though she always seemed proud that she was this way.

"Leah," I interrupted, trying to hold back an urge to pull her into a hug.

"No listen Jake," she sighed, and the way she said my name again made me feel terrible for things I had said to her earlier. "When Sam imprinted on Emily, my entire world was taken away." She paused. I could tell this was hard on her. "At least Bella gave you the time of day, Jacob. At least she told you that she didn't want you."

My chest tightened. She could have brought up anyone else except her. But I knew she was trying to make a point so that I would understand it from her perspective.

"She could have led you on. She could have told you she loved you with every cell in her body and that everything she ever did from that moment on would be for you."

I could tell where this was going. I didn't want it to go this deep, but how could I deny her? This was something I knew Leah had been holding in from the first day. This was the part she hadn't told anyone, and she needed someone who would listen and be her friend when she had no one else.

"And then, she could have stopped calling, stopped coming over, stopped saying that she loved you because she was too afraid of what you might have said if she told you that she had imprinted."

"You mean . . . Sam," I murmured.

"I thought he was making it up. I thought it was just his excuse to be with another woman. And I'll admit I said some pretty downright ugly things to Emily. But I believe I'll never forgive myself for letting her meet Sam."

"You honestly blame her?" I asked, a little upset.

"I don't blame her, Jake," she turned her head to look me in the eye, "I blame myself."


	10. Chapter 10: Acceptance

I didn't know why the hell I was telling Jake all of this. Quite frankly, it was none of his damn business, but I just couldn't help myself. For some strange reason, I felt this overwhelming urge to spill my guts to him. Stupid fucking female hormones. They're such bullshit. But after spending the past year keeping these emotions at bay, I knew they were just dying to come out.

"Why do you blame yourself? I mean technically . . . you didn't _do _anything," he explained, interrupting my reverie with a stupid look on his face like he was shocked.

I sighed before replying, a little annoyed. "If I never would have invited her to come down and visit, if I never would have introduced them, this never would have happened. It's my own fault." I hung my head in disappointment.

He wiped his hand across his face and shook his head. "Leah, even if you hadn't invited Emily to come visit when you did, she still would have came eventually. What if you and Sam had been married by then?" He turned to look at me knowingly.

I looked up at him, opening my mouth to object but didn't and instead, looked back down at my lap. "You're right. I couldn't keep him from her forever. She would have been a bridesmaid at the wedding." I closed my eyes, holding back the tears that were forming as I thought of being left at the alter. "What if it would have happened then? At the wedding? Or the day before at the fucking rehearsal? Everything would have already been taken care of and then just like that, he would be gone." I shook my head in disgust. "I guess I should just be happy that it happened when it did, before we had been married for ten years or whatever. But I just can't get over the heartbreaking feeling I get every time I think of him with her. I mean . . . she's my fucking cousin, Jacob! My family! I was stabbed in the back by my own flesh and blood!" I screamed as the tears betrayed me and begun spilling down my cheeks.

I think he was at a loss for words by this point. Probably scared shitless because I was finally opening up about what had happened, to _him_ of all people. I could have sworn I saw his hand twitch as his body leaned closer to mine. Was he going to hug me? Really? I wish he would have, but I wouldn't hold my breath for it.

"Leah," he sighed as he returned to an upright position.

Maybe I wasn't hallucinating after all. _Way to ruin a good moment, Leah._

I waved him off, trying to act like I didn't want his sympathy. "It's fine.. You don't need to say anything."

"No, no! You're getting me all wrong here. I want to help . . . if I can," he stated sincerely.

I shook my head in response. He wanted to help? I'm not sure if he knew what he was getting himself into.

"I don't want to be this person anymore, Jacob," I choked out as a sob ripped through my chest. "I never wanted to be this . . . _monster_. I just . . . I just want a normal life." I couldn't stand to look up at him, so I kept my gaze steady on my hands.

"Leah, this is part of who you are. And you_ can_ have a normal life!" he pleaded, trying to convince me that he was right.

Why was Jacob so caring? I hated it. All I wanted to do was be alone . . . _with him_. _Shut up, Leah! He doesn't want you!_

I cut him off before he could finish his thought. "I can't. I'll never be okay. I'll never find someone to love me." I furiously wiped at the tears that were now pouring down my face. "I'm just not good enough!" I yelled at him.

He turned to face me. Reaching out and grabbing my waist, he gently pulled me into a tight embrace. He must have been out of things to say, or maybe still doped up on morphine because this was way out of character for him. My brain was telling me to resist but I just couldn't. I needed this. I needed him in that moment. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder.

"It's time for you to let this go. It's time for you to move forward with your life. Heal your broken heart and get over Sam already. He's never coming back, so what's the point in putting yourself through all of this agony over somebody who's so undeserving of your love?" he whispered soothingly into my hair.

I choked back another sob. "It's . . . it's not that easy."

He laughed softly. "I know it's easier said than done, but you have the strength to do it, Leah. You just need to believe in yourself."

I laughed at the irony. "I think you need to heed your own advice, Jacob."

He took a deep breath before responding. "Yeah, maybe you're right." I felt him exhale against my chest. "But you've had more time to heal than I have, Leah. My wounds are still fresh."

I sighed as I tightened the embrace, hoping to comfort him in the same way he was comforting me. "I know, Jake," _damn it, I let it slip,_ "But you might as well start now instead of wallowing in your own self-pity for a year like I have."

I could feel his soft nod against my shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. I know."

I smiled. "Thank you, Jake." I whispered between sniffles.

"Sure, sure. Anytime, Leah," he said as he rocked me gently, rubbing soothing circles across my back.

I don't know how long we sat there — me crying on his shoulder, but when I finally pulled away, I felt much better. I laughed lightly as I wiped the last of the tears from my face and looked up at him, a small, appreciative smile spreading across my face.

I shook my head. "I guess I never realized how much of that I was really holding in."

He chuckled and shrugged. "It happens, but I'm glad you're feeling better, though." I wanted to smack that self-satisfied smile right off of his face.

"Jacob Black! Don't you _dare_ think that this changes anything in our relationship. I still hate you," I stated as I folded my arms over my chest, resisting the way I _really_ felt.

"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes. "I still hate you too, Leah. No worries."


	11. Chapter 11: What I Really Meant To Say

It hurt me to lie _—_ to tell her that I hated her, even if we were only joking with each other. What I really meant to say was, _Leah, I love yo__u __— __or__ at least I think I do._

What I couldn't understand was how I still wasn't over Bella, and yet I wanted Leah at the same time. I needed her to take away all the painful memories. And the ones I knew I'd have to face in the near future, starting with Bella's excruciating wedding.

This was happening way too fast. In just a couple of days I already had someone new to break my heart again. But there would be no next time. I wouldn't be able to take another break in my barely beating heart. I was trying to stay strong. I refused to let my friends and family see me fail miserably under the false hope Bella had provided me with. But it just wasn't worth it anymore. I had pleaded with her numerous times to stay with me, but the answer was always the same.

"_I love you Jacob, I do, but it's just not enough. I love him more. I always have," she whispered to me softly before she left my side the night I had been crushed by the same disgusting creature Edward unfortunately was._

Somehow, I always knew that nothing I did would ever change her mind in the end, I just wasn't prepared to accept her decision head-on. I had it in my head that I could change her mind, and when I didn't, my hopes went up in flames.

I turned back to Leah from the thoughts that fogged my brain, but an unsettled feeling was forming somewhere deep inside my chest. It was probably a reaction to my emotions overwhelming me. I had no other choice but to put on a fake smile, laugh a little, and hope she wouldn't notice. It was all I could do not to become a puddle of tears like she had been, in my arms just moments earlier.

"I'm glad we're both on the same page then," she replied drily, disrupting my thoughts as she laid down on the ground and curled into a ball. Thank God that was the end our emotional conversation. Who knows what I might have said. It probably would have involved me disclosing things to her I would later regret saying.

"You're going to bed already?" I asked, avoiding my conscience. "But we haven't even told ghost stories yet," I laughed as I stood up, brushing my pants off with my hands.

"Goodnight, Jake . . . ob," she muttered, trying to play it off like she hadn't just called me Jake again. I smiled at her mistake. She seemed to let my shortened name slip out a lot lately, but I didn't mind and I wouldn't call her out on it.

"Goodnight, Lee . . . ah," I teased, finding a tree a few feet away and propping myself against it.

I raised my knees and sat my arms on top, folding my hands together as I looked at her. She opened her eyes and smiled gently back at me. Could she not see me staring at her? Apparently I had spoken too soon because her mood went south.

"I will turn the other way Jacob Black," she warned sarcastically as she glared back at me.

I tried not to laugh. "But I'm the night watchman. I _have_ to watch you."

"You mean the watch_ boy_," she snickered.

"You're just jealous of my incredibly good looks and charismatic charm," I laughed, holding back a grin.

Leah rolled her eyes. "You're about as charming as a snake."

"Well in that case, you should go to sleep so I can bite you."

"If you come anywhere near me, I will _bite_ your face off," she growled.

"And then who will love me?" I asked her dramatically.

She huffed. "No one I guess."

_That was cold, Leah. Really fucking cold._ It was unrealistic of me to think I would actually get something out of her that I wanted to hear.

"You really don't have a heart, do you?" I joked, shaking my head in amusement.

"At least not one I will allow other people break anymore," she sighed, bringing her hands into her chest and tucking them tightly against her.

I relaxed my face, looking down at my stomach to avoid contact with her eyes. I could see the pain it was causing her, even after everything I had said. Did I really think I could say a few words and just like that, make everything that was hurting her go away? Better luck next time, dumb ass.

I couldn't handle holding in how I felt about this much longer. It was constantly building inside of me every second that passed, and I wouldn't let this happen like it did with Bella again. The feeling clawed at my insides and burned in my chest.

I bit down on my lip trying to keep my mouth shut. I couldn't do this. I couldn't face her and tell her what I was feeling, or how badly my heart ached for her to just be near me.

"Leah," I whispered into the air after a few seconds of silence. "I . . . need to tell you something."

I looked up, almost sorry I had. But when I saw her body covered in the dim moon's light, I realized she was fast asleep in another world apart from mine.

"Goodnight, Leah," I said to myself in anguish. "I love you."


	12. Chapter 12: When All Hell Breaks Loose

I woke in the morning feeling rested for the first time in a long while. I sprawled out on my back, stretching all my limbs as I looked up at the sky.

_Did Jacob really tell me he loved me last night? _The thought had me smiling. _No, no, no. It must have been a dream. All that wishful thinking I was doing yesterday must have bled into my subconscious last night. _I shook the thought out of my mind as I stood and did a small turn to find Jacob.

I laughed softly as I saw him supported against a tree, his head leaning back and his mouth wide open. I snickered as I planned my next move. There was no way I was going to let him get out of this, unscathed. I lifted my finger to my chin as I looked around, trying to find inspiration. I spotted a pine tree and a devious grin broke out across my face. I tip-toed over to the tree, snatched a pine cone off the ground and headed back towards Jacob.

When I reached him, I held back a giggle as he began to snore. I put one hand over my mouth to stifle my laugh as I slowly reached out the other and gently set the pine cone into his wide open mouth. I hopped back with a laugh, knowing he wasn't going to be a happy camper when he woke up. I'm pretty sure the pine cone almost lodged itself in his throat on his next intake of breath.

I couldn't help the boisterous laugh that came flying out of my mouth. He woke instantly, utterly confused as he spat the pine cone straight at me. I doubled over in laughter, holding my side with one hand and pointing at him with the other. I just couldn't contain myself any longer.

"Oh. My. God!" I stated breathlessly between fits of laughter. "The look on your face _— _unbelievably funny!" I continued to laugh even harder. I was holding both of my sides now, my head between my legs. I instantly ceased when I saw Jacob's feet step into my view.

_Shit. I'm in trouble. _I stood up straight, staring him right in the eye.

Man did he look pissed! My fight or flight instincts kicked in and I turned and ran. I giggled uncontrollably as I ducked left and right beneath a couple low branches. I could hear him running after me and when I looked over my shoulder, he looked surprisingly happy.

"Get your ass back here, Leah!" he chuckled as he started gaining on me.

"Over my dead body, Black!" I shouted back as I picked up my speed. I heard him slow down, he must have gotten tired. I slowed to a jog and rounded back towards him. "Giving up already?" I asked incredulously as I stopped in front of him, putting my hands on my hips.

He smirked and folded his arms over his chest. "Just remember, payback is a bitch, Leah."

I waved my hands around and rolled my eyes. "Ooh, I'm so scared! Little Jacob Black is gonna get me!" I laughed sarcastically.

"Oh I will! Someday. Somehow. When you least expect it," he laughed as a grin spread across his face.

"I couldn't help it! It's not my fault you were sleeping with your mouth wide fucking open!" I scolded.

He rolled his eyes and turned back the way we had came. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

I jogged a few steps to catch up and walk beside him, nudging his arm with my shoulder. "You'll never get me, Jacob. I've got eyes in the back of my head." I smirked.

He pushed me back a little too hard and it knocked me off balance. "Hey! Fucker!" I laughed.

He sighed as he sat down in the clearing we had spent last night in. "Are you ready to go home yet, Leah?" he asked as he looked up at me.

I folded my arms over my chest before replying. "Um . . . not really. I'm kind of enjoying my time out here." _My time with you to be more exact._

"Aw come on, Leah!" He whined. "I wanna go home. I'm hungry!"

I rolled my eyes. "Then go home. Nothing is keeping you here but yourself." _Please don't leave._

He shook his head and laid back in the grass, folding his arms behind his head. "I'm not going home without you."

I groaned as I sunk to the ground. "Fine. I'll go back. But under one condition."

He lifted his head to look at me. "Anything. Name it." he said eagerly.

I grinned before replying. "I'll go back if you'll promise to hang out with me _—_ _outside_ of patrol." I laughed. "Keep me company. Give me someone to pick on."

He smiled. "Done."

I laughed as I stood up and held my hand out for him. "Come on. Let's go."

He swatted my hand away before standing swiftly on his own. "Since when do I need your help to get off the ground?" He cocked a brow.

I laughed. "Well _excuse_ me for trying to be nice! It won't happen again!" I shook my head before starting towards La Push.

He groaned and hesitantly started after me. "Leah, are we really going to walk the whole way home?" he wined.

I nodded with a laugh. "I'm going to. You can phase if you want but I'd prefer to have these last couple moments of calm before the storm." I tilted my head to glance up at him.

"Alright, alright. Whatever." He rolled his eyes as he walked beside me.

* * *

We walked in complete silence the entire way back to La Push. I just didn't know what to say. I couldn't keep my mind from racing through all the possibilities of what would happen when we came back. All I knew for sure was that I wasn't going to allow Jacob to get into trouble for coming after me. This was my fault and I planned on taking responsibility for my actions. I let out a deep sigh as Jacob's house came into view.

"Are you ready for this?" I paused as I looked up at him.

"Ready as I'll ever be." He smirked.

I could hear the entire pack and the elders gathered inside the house.

_Wow. A homecoming party. How sweet. _I thought sarcastically. _This is SO not going to be good. _I rolled my eyes as we reached the front door.

I stood with my hand on the knob and looked back at him. "Keep your mouth shut. I'll do the talking." I didn't give him time to reply as I opened the door and stepped inside.

Sam was the first to look up, pure rage filling his eyes. He stomped straight past me and got in Jacob's face. "What the hell were you thinking, Jacob?" He spat angrily.

_Oh hell no. This was _not_ going to happen. _I wedged myself between Sam and Jacob before Jacob had time to respond.

"Back. Off." I growled through bared teeth as I pushed against Sam's chest.

He had the nerve to throw his head back in a fit of laughter before responding. "Or . . . what? What could you possibly to do me, Leah?"

I was infuriated. My entire body shaking as I pushed him further into the house, further away from Jacob. "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, Samuel Uley, but you need to back the fuck off. The only reason I'm even here is because of him. You should fucking be thanking him for putting himself aside to help me instead of being the arrogant bastard that you are. Back the fuck off _—_ now _— _or you're going to regret it."

The more he laughed, the more furious I became. I could barely hold myself together at this point.

"Oh come on Lee Lee. Relax. It's not like I'm going to hurt him. I just want to have a few words with him."

That was it. I snapped. I clenched my fist, pulled my arm back and punched him square in the face as hard as I could.

"Don't you _ever_ fucking call me Lee Lee again you ignorant fucking prick."


	13. Chapter 13: Fighting With Myself

I stood completely dumbfounded as Leah socked Sam square in the jaw. My mind was screaming _What the hell were you thinking, Leah? _while another side of me was cheering her on.

I didn't have time to react as Sam stumbled backwards. I saw Embry and Jared race to his side and steady him, but he quickly regained his balance.

I had to admit it would have been funny to see Sam hit the floor, most likely knocking a giant hole through our living room, but I needed the entertainment. I was stressed out to the max over this thing with Bella, and now with me falling for Leah Clearwater, it just added more onto the already heavy load.

Sam's face turned a bright shade of red as trail of blood crept down his lip, and I could have sworn I saw smoke pouring out of his ears. He huffed and panted with his fists clenched, kind of like Paul did when he —

"If you hurt her I swear to God!" I yelled, jumping in front of Leah and pushing her behind me.

"This isn't your fight to pick, Jacob!" Sam demanded, putting his hand on my right shoulder — throbbing with pain — in an attempt to push me aside. "Get the hell out of my way!"

"Take your hands off of me, Sam!" I demanded, as his hand tightened.

I felt my arm tingle with a mild ache and I winced, trying to keep my expression cool. I stepped backwards, hoping Sam would loosen his grip, but the further I moved away, the more the pain worsened under his unforgiving grasp.

"Sam," Leah pleaded. She peaked from behind me and her hand touched my side. "Please . . . don't."

Sam stared at me for a moment then looked down at Leah. "Why are you taking up for him like he means something to you?"

I looked at Leah who hesitated with an answer. It was hard for me not to defend her against Sam's pressing questions, but what could I say? Sam didn't take well to backtalk, especially from any of us.

A broken shoulder would have been better than Leah's heart crumbling into pieces. The fact was that I cared so much about her now that I would have even given my own life to save hers. I couldn't explain how I felt this unexpected, but strong pull toward her. Hell, the only thing I _did_ know was that I loved her unconditionally, but I knew her feelings weren't the same. That's how it always was for me. I was just standing by while I watched her walk all over everything I could give her.

"He does!" she scolded, biting back a whimper.

My heart started racing a little at that moment. I almost couldn't believe I had just heard Leah admit I at least meant _something_ to her. It was probably just a ploy to make Sam jealous, but why was she using me as bait? Didn't she understand that when she said things like that it made me feel like I had even the smallest of chances with her?

"I guess I can't argue with _that_," Sam said sardonically as he dropped his hand and wiped the small trickle of blood away from his mouth. He shifted his eyes back and forth between Leah and I before stomping past us toward the exit. "We're wasting our time here. Let's go," he called out to the rest of the pack crowded around in the living room. They followed behind one another as Sam led them outside.

After they had left a short time later, I turned to face Leah who I could feel shaking beside me. "Are you okay?" I asked, concerned. She tried to avoid my eyes by looking away, but I brought my hand to her chin and gently pulled her face back to face me.

"What are you doing?" she asked confused, giving me a look that cracked my heart even further open than it already was.

I dropped my hand. "I was just wondering if you were okay. You seem a little shaken up."

"I am _not_ shaken up. I'm very . . . f-f-ucking fine. Thank . . . you," she stuttered, waving me off as she went for the door quickly, running outside.

My brows furrowed together in apparent confusion. Had I done something wrong? Had I _said_ something to upset her? "Leah, please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to —"

She turned back when she'd reached the second step off the porch. "Don't ever touch me again!" she yelled with tears streaming down her too beautiful face. She sniffled once before jerking her body around and running into the night, disappearing in only a matter of seconds.

What the hell? I didn't even touch her — not like I wanted to anyway. Sometimes I just didn't understand girls. I figured that was likely my problem. If I couldn't see it _their_ way, I would never have a chance with anyone and I would be doomed to be alone for the rest of my life — or at least until I imprinted, and I wasn't really counting on that.

I walked to the door and sighed before closing it, turning the lock and holding myself up against the wall.

"Jacob?" my dad inquired, wheeling his chair into the living room. "Would you like to explain where you've been for the last twenty-four hours?"

I grumbled under my breath and gave him a flat answer. "No."

I marched around him as he watched me walk down the hall to my bedroom. I flung the door open and went inside, slamming it shut behind me. I was so angry at myself for being such an idiot that I slid my hand across the shelf and knocked everything off onto the floor. I kicked my books across the room and sent a chair flying against the wall. It just made me feel better to break something.

"Jacob, you better not be in there making a mess!" my dad yelled from the living room.

I scoffed. "Thanks for the warning _mom_!" I shouted back.

When I felt streams of salt water run down my face, I knew I had lost the long hard battle with myself.

I fell onto my bed and buried my face into a pillow, hoping it muffled my screaming. I was finally letting everything out. I cried for the first time since my mother, Sarah, had died. Hell, I was probably crying for her now too since I was too young at the time to realize that she was dead and never coming back.

I wanted Bella. I wanted Leah. I wanted my mom. They were all people I knew I couldn't have anymore. No one wanted me; no one would ever want me.

All I wanted to do was run away. I had a car; I had a motorcycle; I had four legs. All I had to do was pick one and leave. Maybe that's what I would end up doing. I couldn't stand it here any longer. There were too many memories I just wanted to leave behind.

As my tears soaked the pillow, I turned my face to look out at the window. The sun had long since set. It had taken Leah and I the whole day to walk back home from where we were in the woods and I had wished now that I hadn't convinced her to come back here with me.

I pulled a blanket over my body and curled up as tightly as I could. Closing my eyes, I relaxed as I fell into unconsciousness, hoping that my dreams could ease the tension of my fucked up reality.


	14. Chapter 14: The Lecture

I forcefully wiped at the tears that were clouding my vision as I ran far away from Jacob's house. I had no idea where I was going, all I did know was that I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to face my mother. She had left when the rest of the pack did, so I knew she would be home by now. I sighed as I came to the realization that I _had_ no where else to go, so as much as it killed me to, I headed in that direction.

_Fucking idiot. Stupid fucking dumb ass bitch. What the hell were you thinking? Seriously? You just practically admitted your feelings for Jake in front of the whole pack! Ugh! How the hell are you going to fix this?_

My thoughts were spiraling out of control and I didn't know how to reign them back in. There wasn't a way to fix this. I had royally fucked myself to the end of my reputation.

The front porch light was on when I got home so I knew my mom was still awake. She always turned it off before she went to bed. I took a deep breath before walking into the house.

"Leah," my mom scolded as soon as I stepped through the front door. I closed it lightly and made my way into the living room.

I sighed as I sat across from her on the couch. "Mom," I answered back emotionless. I didn't plan on having to divulge any more information that I had to.

She shook her head and scooted closer to me on the couch. "What's going on with you?" she asked as she reached out and tentatively took my hand in hers.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I couldn't look my mother in the eye as I lied to her.

"Leah Rae Clearwater. Don't you dare lie to me," she scolded. "Out with it. Now!"

I sighed and looked up at her. "I . . . well . . ." I hesitated.

"Leah," my mother threatened.

"I have feelings for Jacob," I spat out quickly before looking up at her. I almost laughed at the look of utter discombobulation on her face. _Actually I'm totally in love with him._

"You . . . uh . . . J-J-Jacob?" She furrowed her brows. "As in Jacob _Black_?"

I rolled my eyes as I yanked my hand from hers and crossed my arms over my chest. "Do I know any other Jacobs, Mom?"

She scooted back to her end of the couch with wide eyes. "Uh . . . no," she squeaked out, quickly composing herself as she cleared her throat. "I mean, no Leah. Jacob Black is the only Jacob you know."

I rolled my eyes before standing. "If you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed now." I forced a smile, hoping she would let me leave.

She laughed. "I don't think so missy!" She pointed at the couch. "Sit. You've got a lot of explaining to do."

I grumbled to myself as I slowly sank back down onto the cushion. Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms tightly around my legs, resting my chin on top of them. I sulked as I awaited the onslaught of questions that were about to fly out from my mother's mouth.

"Why?" She asked simply as she looked up at me.

I shrugged.

"Words, Leah. I know you know how to use them," she reprimanded.

I groaned before answering. "I don't know, Mom. It just kind of . . . happened. I can't exactly help who I have feelings for."

"When did you realize you had feelings for him?" Now she just looked concerned, like I was crushing on some bumbling idiot in high school.

"When I went to see him after the fight with the — you know." I was being short with my answers, not disclosing too much information.

"Have you told him?" She cocked a brow.

"Absolutely not!" I scoffed.

She chuckled lightly before responding. "Should have known the answer to that one. May I ask _why_ exactly?"

"You know exactly why, Mother." I sassed. _Bad move, Leah. Bad move._

"Actually, I don't. So why don't you tell me."

Holy shit, she sounded pissed. I sighed and tucked my chin to my chest, laying my forehead on my knees. "Because I can't risk getting my heart broken again."

"Leah, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable if you expect to ever find love and happiness again. Do you want to be alone forever?" she questioned sympathetically.

"No," I groaned. "But Jacob doesn't have feelings for me so what's the point of even telling him about mine?"

She had the audacity to laugh at me — again for at least the third time. "Seriously, Leah? It's fairly obvious that Jacob has _some_ sort of feelings for you. I mean, he came running after you even though he was supposed to be bedridden. I can't even imagine what kind of pain he had to endure to make it through that."

"You don't even know, Mom," I interrupted, wincing as I remembered feeling Jacob's pain while he ran to me in wolf-form

"Exactly. And him standing up for you the way he did tonight? In front of the entire pack? Mouthing off to his Sam for you! If those weren't feelings, I don't know what they are, Leah." She cocked a brow as I lifted my head slightly to look at her.

"But what if the same thing happens with Jacob as it did with Sam? Sam loved me too until he imprinted. Jake could imprint too, Mom. At any moment, on any day. I can't take that chance!" I begged her to understand my reasoning.

"Not everybody imprints, Leah. You can't guarantee that he will. Why not take the chance?" She sighed when I didn't respond. "At least tell him how you feel. You can't keep this in forever."

I shook my head as I stood. "I can and I will. I'm not telling Jacob any of this — ever," I said as I hurried towards the stairs. I heard her sigh sadly as I reached my bedroom.

"Goodnight, Mom!" I called out to her as I closed my bedroom door.

I flicked the light on and instantly noticed that my mom had cleaned up the mess I had left behind. Thank God! I really didn't need the constant reminder of my freak-out that occurred no less than two days ago.

I looked down at myself, draped in Jacobs huge sweats. I sighed softly as I climbed into bed, deciding not to change into pajamas. I pulled the blanket over my body for comfort, then tucked my pillow between my arm and my head before closing my eyes.

_Should I really tell Jacob or not? Is it worth the rejection if my mom is wrong about his feelings for me? _I yawned and snuggled deeper into the covers.

It's d_efinitely not worth the rejection. Nothing is worth feeling that way again, _I concluded as I began drifting into unconsciousness.

I whispered into the still night's air as I dozed off into a dreamless sleep. "I love you Jacob Black."


	15. Chapter 15: Bent Until Broken

The next morning I felt like shit. Not only was the sun shining entirely too brightly in my face, but Sam and Paul were arguing like an old married couple in the living room.

"You have no right to do that to him, Sam!" Paul shouted defensively.

"I'm the Alpha here — _not_ you. If you don't agree with my decisions than that's not my problem. But you _will_ do what I say."

I jumped out of bed and followed the bickering to the front of the house where I saw Sam and Paul chest to chest about to have it out with one another.

I rubbed the back of my neck, aching from a crick due to the poor choice in last night's sleeping position. "What the hell is going on in here?" I asked groggily.

"Jacob," Sam announced, abandoning Paul as he came toward me aggressively. "You are to _never_ see Leah outside of the patrol again."

At that moment, my ears weren't sure what exactly they had heard. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words were lost somewhere inside my head. I knew that without a doubt, it was that damn Alpha's voice keeping me from saying what I needed to out loud.

"I command you, Jacob," he said again more forcefully, and my legs almost buckled under me.

"Sam, don't do this," Paul pleaded, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Sam growled as his arm flew back, knocking Paul across the room. He smashed into an arm chair, falling off onto the coffee table, pulling it over as my mom's porcelain vase shattered to the floor beside him.

"No!" I shouted as I ran over to the broken pieces and angrily tried to put them back together. "This was all I had left of her," I mumbled, trying to hold back my tears as they blurred my vision.

"What the fuck, Sam?" Paul vented, quickly pushing himself up off the ground, blood pouring from his head. "I think you just cracked my fucking skull open."

"Suck it up and take it like a man," Sam spat back, ignoring me as I litterally had a break down on the floor over an object.

"You've really changed, man," Paul sighed, leaving us alone as he raced into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

"Get up," Sam commanded. I almost collapsed, his voice weakening me every time he spoke. Didn't he realize how heavy that kind of thing was on me?

Swallowing every word I wanted to say to him, I picked myself up, leaving my mother's precious broken vase as it was on the floor. I felt a sharp pain when I inhaled, and it took everything I had not to clench my chest in front of Sam.

"Whatever you were thinking of doing with Leah, _unthink_ it," Sam huffed. "If I ever catch you with one of those distasteful thoughts of her again I will put and end to —"

"Whoa! Hold on a damn minute. Who the hell said I even thought of Leah that way?" I yelled back.

"I know what you're trying to pull with her, Jacob, and it's not going to happen."

"What the hell are you even talking about? I haven't —"

"You think she's going to feel sorry enough for your situation that she'll want to have sex with you!"

My mouth hung open. I was absolutely disgusted by Sam's thoughts of me toward Leah. How the hell would he know anyway? Of course I wanted to make love to Leah, but only because I loved her, not because I wanted to score with just anybody.

"I can't believe you think that," I said, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"You have my orders. You are _not_ to see Leah outside of patrols."

As much as it hurt, as heavy as it weighed, I had built up an entire lifetime of anger and frustration inside of me from Sam's retentive orders. This was one thing I could _not _do. I couldn't stay away from someone I truly loved. I wanted to spend the rest of forever with Leah as long as she would have me. And even if she didn't, at least I could look back and say I had at least tried. That had to count for something, didn't it? I wanted to give her everything Sam couldn't. I wanted to take my time and fix her broken heart in hopes that she would heal mine. I wanted her to be what Bella never was to me and make her realize that we were two of a kind and we belonged together.

At that moment, something inside of me snapped. I no longer felt heavier than I weighed. The pain in my body seemed to disappear as I looked up to meet Sam's penetrating stare.

"No," I responded flatly.

"You can't say no to me Jacob, I command you."

The feeling was no longer there. I didn't feel his voice breaking me in two. I felt like my own person for the first time since I had transformed. It was then that I knew I no longer belonged to Sam's pack. I was my own Alpha. I was the son of Ephraim Black, the rightful leader, and I had come to take my place as head of the pack. Of course, I had no pack, but for some reason, I was fine with that.

"No," I repeated. "I will see Leah whenever I'd like to."

"Jacob," Sam warned. "You are not to see Leah Clearwater under any —"

"I _will_ see her — whenever and wherever I want."

Sam's face turned bright red. "Jacob!" he yelled. "You will —"

"You're not my Alpha anymore, Sam," I huffed. And I'm sure it took him a moment of two before he registered what had just happened, but when he did, I was thoroughly pleased.

"No," Sam whispered, shaking his head curtly as he took a few steps backwards. "You don't deserve this!"

"Don't tell me what I don't deserve!" I objected as I yanked back my right arm and slammed Sam's nose against the bridge of my knuckles.

In the same second Paul came running out of the bathroom and down the hall to see what all the commotion was about. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Sam flat on his back, holing his face as blood gushing from his nose.

"Whoa, Jacob, you just fucked Sam up!" he cheered, smiling as he slammed his fist into his opposing hand.

"That's not all I'm going to fuck up," I grumbled, turning for the door as I headed toward the Clearwater's to finally spill my heart and soul out to Leah.


	16. Chapter 16: Only In My Dreams

_I was driving through the neighborhood, the music barely audible as the sound of two sibling's voices flowed throughout the car. I glanced in the rear view mirror and smiled as I saw my two children, Ephraim Harrison in his soccer uniform and Sarah Madison in her ballet tutu. How did I get lucky enough to have the two most beautiful children on the face of this planet?_

"_How was soccer practice, Harry?" I beamed._

"_Oh mom it was awesome! I scored the winning goal and my coach says that I'm the fastest player on the entire team!"_

_I reached back to pat his leg as I pulled into our driveway. "And how was ballet rehearsal, Sarah?" I turned to face her as I put the car in park and unbuckled my seat belt. _

_She squealed with excitement as she told me every detail of what happened. All about the classes new routine and how the advanced class came in to help them with their pirouettes. I laughed, softly as she told me that their dance was to "A Whole New World" from Aladdin. _

"_I can't wait until the recital sweetie! I know it's going to be amazing," I said as I climbed out of the car, opened their door and grabbed their backpack. Sarah concluded her story and I waved them out. "Come on, come on! Daddy's waiting to hear ALL about it!" I smiled as they launched themselves from their seats and went running into the house. _

_I took my time as I followed behind, allowing them the chance to spend a couple minutes with their father before I entered the house. I snuck in silently and set the kid's bags down on the floor before taking my shoes off. I leaned back against the wall to take in the astonishing sight before me._

_Jacob was sprawled out on the floor with both kids laying belly down on his chest, their feet kicking in the air with excitement. The smile on his face was absolutely astonishing as he listened intently to every single word of their stories. I didn't know how he could keep them both straight. They were talking so fast and constantly interrupting each other. It was absolutely adorable and he was so perfect_—_nodding, laughing and agreeing in all the right places. I felt my heart swell with pride as I watched my husband interact with the two beautiful children we had created together. I could have sat there and watched them for hours but Jacob had other plans._

_He chuckled and I giggled at the kids whiny protests as he picked each of them up, set them on the floor and stood. "Hey, hey. I'll be right back. I just want to say hi to Mommy real quick." _

_He turned to face me and the look in his eyes left me breathless. I saw nothing but passion and adoration in his almost black eyes. I clutched at my chest as I felt my heart skip a beat. That gorgeous smile of his graced his face as he strode towards me, obviously having heard the mishap in my chest. When he reached me, I almost stopped breathing completely. He wrapped his strong arms around my slender body and pulled me tightly against him. I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck, playing with his hair as I laid my head against his chest._

"_Lee," he whispered. I tilted my head up and looked into his eyes. He was so close, our noses practically touching as I felt his warm breath against my soft lips._

I awoke clutching my pillow to my chest, anxious for what was not to come. Jacob was not my husband and he was never going to kiss me.

_ Really? Am I falling that hard that he not only invades my conscious mind but my subconscious __as well? Get out of my fucking head, Jacob Black! You're making me miserable!_

I threw my blanket off with a huff and hastily got out of bed. I opened my dresser drawer, grabbed a pair of jean shorts and a T-shirt, quickly changing out of Jacob's sweats. I closed my bedroom door behind me as I headed into the bathroom. I took my time washing my face and brushing my teeth before looking in the mirror. I looked like I had just came back from a vacation in hell.

My hair resembled a rats nest and I had huge dark circles under my eyes. I grabbed my brush and ripped it through my hair. After a full five minutes of brushing, it was finally knot free. I was surprised that I wasn't bald after that. I set the brush back in the drawer right as my stomach begun to growl and the delicious smell of breakfast wafted into the bathroom.

I took the steps two at a time and jogged into the kitchen. Of course Seth was already at the table eating. I gave him a polite smile as I grabbed a plate, filled it up, grabbed a cup of orange juice and sat down beside him.

"Morning Leah!" He asserted, grinning as he forced another forkful of eggs into his mouth.

I shook my head softly and laughed to myself. "Good morning, Seth." I smiled.

"Wanna go for a run with me after breakfast?" He spoke with his mouth full.

I grimaced before responding. "Chew first, talk later. That's disgusting, Seth. And no, I'm not really in the mood to go running." _More like I don't have the mental capacity to keep my thoughts to myself today._

He swallowed before speaking this time. "Oh, okay. Whatever you want, Leah. I guess I'll just see you later then," he uttered dejectedly as he put his plate in the sink and headed back up to his room.

I grumbled and hurried to finish my breakfast. My mom took a plate for herself and sat across from me.

"Leah," she acknowledged, smiling softly.

"Yes mom?" I returned her smile and continued eating in hopes that she wouldn't bring up Jacob again.

"Did you think about what I said last night? About telling Jacob how you feel?" She cocked a brow.

I groaned. "Yes, I did. And I haven't changed my mind so you can quit bugging me about it now." I took my last bite of food and sat back in my chair to look at her.

"Leah," she pleaded, "Please, honey. Things will be so much better if you just tell him."

"No," I stated simply as I threw my fork onto my plate. I forcefully scooted my chair out from the table, headed for the front door.

"I'm going out," I told her with a wave as I slammed the door behind me.

I walked around aimlessly, completely lost in thought. Next thing I knew, I had reached the cliffs.

_Why do I always end up here when I need time to think? _

I sighed as I crossed over my usual ridge and down into the valley just beyond it. I sat with a huff and dangled my feet over the edge as I looked over the expansive ocean.

_Is my mom right? Does he have feelings for me? He couldn't. I'm not that oblivious. I would have noticed by now. But then again, he did stand up for me when we got back. Why would he have done that if he didn't like me? No. _No!_ I can't fill my head with wishful thinking. He's just a friend. That's all he will ever see me as. Or maybe he just felt guilty for me running away in the first place. Who fucking knows anymore._

I heaved a heavy sigh as I shook my head and turned my gaze down to the waves crashing against the cliffs, completely lost in my own mind.


	17. Chapter 17: Risking Everything For Love

I ran as fast as my human legs would carry me to the Clearwater's home. No matter what, I was determined to get my point across to Leah. I couldn't let her slip through my fingers and find someone else before I had had a chance to tell her how I felt.

The three mile run seemed to take forever, but it gave me a moment to think. I didn't exactly know how to approach her with my situation, and that scared me a little.

_Should I just come out and say it? No, she'll probably just think I'm crazy. What if I eased her into it over a nice conversation? Who am I kidding? Leah is _not_ the tea and crumpets kind of girl. A conversation would just be awkward if it's not natural between us._

I ran out of time to debate as I reached the driveway. Huffing, I slowed to a jog that changed into an easy walk. I didn't want to make it look like I was anxious or anything in case someone was watching out of the window. But before I could reach the porch, Seth burst through the front door with a goofy giant grin on his face.

"Jake!" he seethed, almost tripping over his own two feet as he sprinted toward me.

"Hey, kid," I said, pulling him into an around-the-neck hug as I gave him a rough little noogie on the top of his head in the process.

"Okay, okay, Jake!" he contested, trying to break free from my hold. I ducked him out, stepping back as he put up his fists, playfully fighting as he nudged my arm with his balled hand.

"Alright, you've had your fun," I defended laughing. I had a huge grin the size of Texas on my too eager face. "Now tell me where your sister is."

"You mean Leah?" he asked breathlessly.

"You have another sister I don't know about?" I teased.

He put down his arms and shrugged, shaking off the momentary adrenaline rush. "She took off this morning. I haven't seen her since."

I frowned in disappointment. "You don't know where I can find her? It's kind of . . . important."

"Well . . . I'm not really supposed to say anything." He bit the corner of his lip looking in the other direction.

"Is that what she told you? Not to tell me where she was?" I had to admit I was a little irritated.

"It's not you, personally. I think she just wants to be alone. Nothing unusual. You've gotta respect that, right?" He was way too young to be so logical about this.

"Seth," I began, not wanting to bribe the poor kid, but I was left with no choice. "Sometimes being alone . . . it's not always good for you. I mean Leah is the way she is _because_ she spends so much time by herself."

He bobbed his head up and down in agreement. "Yeah, I guess I can understand where you're coming from."

I sighed. "So will you please tell me where she went?" I secretly crossed my fingers. I wasn't good at manipulating people like Edward Cullen was. He had a few more years of experience than me if that wasn't already apparent.

Seth paused, taking a long moment no doubt, to decide whether or not he should tell me. "She goes to the cliffs a lot and sits on the edge for hours. She never comes home wet so I'm not sure if she dives off or anything, but I bet you'll find her there."

"Thank you," I said appreciatively as I was about to head in the other direction.

"Hey, can you I ask you something before you go?" he called out to me.

I stopped and turned back toward him. "Sure, Seth. What's on your mind?"

"Do you . . . love her? I mean . . . as more than just . . . a friend?"

It was painfully obvious to everyone _except_ Leah that I had feelings for her, wasn't it? And because of that idea, I couldn't answer him for a long moment. I wanted to give Seth a straight answer, but at the same time I wasn't sure that the truth was what he really needed. He was just a kid who didn't know much about about love, but hell, so was I.

"I think I do," I mouthed without thinking a step ahead of myself.

_Well that was certainly easier than I thought it would be,_ I acknowledged internally. _I finally admitted it to someone and it feels great._

"Are you going to tell her?" he asked eagerly.

I smiled. "I'm going to try to."

Seth's grin became even wider. "Then go, man. Tell her. I know you'll be good to her."

I nodded. "I hope she'll be good to _me_," I added before gesturing a goodbye as I turned away and ran off into the forest.

* * *

I pushed myself to the fastest pace I could possibly go on two legs. I could feel my muscles bunching together as I strained my body to get to Leah that much quicker. I had nothing to gain, and all I kept thinking about was losing her when she wasn't even mine.

I slowed down about a fourth of a mile out to the ocean. I could smell the brine as the wind blew angrily in the treetops above me. I sensed a storm was about hit in thirty minutes to an hour, which sort of ruined my plan, but I kept myself in character anyway.

I came out of the woods slowly, at first, not seeing Leah until I walked over a small ridge that was blocking my view. She was sitting on the very edge of the cliff with her legs dangling dangerously over them, and her short black hair blowing wildly in the wind. It made my heart beat frantically when I came closer to her, and for a short second I almost thought of turning back and running the other way.

"Leah," I said once I was about ten feet away from her. I was surprised she hadn't heard me coming from behind her. She must have been in some pretty deep thought not to have.

Her head whipped around quickly. "Jacob?" she asked suddenly. "What the hell are you doing here?" She got up off the ground and came toward me. Boy did she looked pissed.

"Le . . . Leah . . . I . . . I need to tell you some-something." She was really making me nervous now.

"Who the hell told you where to—" She paused. "It was Seth, wasn't it? God, I'm going to fucking kill him when I get home."

"Leah, please hear me out," I begged.

"Hear you out? Jacob, there's nothing left to say!" she exclaimed, a look of disarray on her face.

"No!" I yelled. "You don't understand!"

"I want you to leave, Jacob. Now. _Right now!_" she barked.

"Leah, please. Just listen to me. And if you want me to leave afterward, I will."

"I _don't_ want you here," she growled, pushing both of her hands forcefully into my chest. "This is _my_ place! Now go away!"

She pushed me back further and further and I let her until I raised my hands, grasped her wrists with my fingers and stopped her from moving me. She tried to break away, but I held her there, as much it hurt me, against her will.

"Stop, Jacob. Stop. Let me go." She sounded scared as she resisted, balling her hands into fists and attempting to hit me. I don't think she realized how much pain I was in by doing this to her, but I had to make her see.

"Stop fighting Leah. Please?"

She stopped struggling and looked away from me. I gently took her arms and moved them down to my waist, taking a deep breath. Her eyes focused back on me as they watched my delicate movements with her body.

"What are you—" My eyes closed automatically as I leaned in and kissed her before she could say another word. I let go of her hands and focused on her lips. They were warm and lush, but they weren't kissing mine. I pulled back, staring into her big brown eyes. She didn't say anything for an entire minute. We just stood there gazing at each other, expressionless.

The second I blinked, I felt her hot hand smack me hard across the left side of my face. When I recovered, I saw Leah scowling at me.

"Leah, I—"

"Go. To. Hell!" she roared, shoving me away from her and phasing as she fleeted into the woods.

"Leah, no! I didn't—" I ran after her, phasing into the monster I had never wanted to become. I didn't even care that I had just ripped my only good pair of shorts into shreds of nothing_—_I _had_ to find her. I _had_ to make this right again.

_Leah, I'm sorry. Please come back? I didn't intend to do that. I mean I sort of did, but I just . . . I can't help the way I feel. Leah, I love you and I—_

Everything I had ever feared hit me like a cannonball falling out of the hazy gray sky. I couldn't hear Leah and she couldn't hear me. I soon realized that only packs could hear the thoughts of their adjoining members, and I had no pack. I was an Alpha, but I was alone. I truly had no one but myself to blame, and as the thunder rumbled in an ever blacker sky, I let a howl rip into the air as my heart broke for the last time.


	18. Chapter 18: Keep Driving

I sprinted as hard and as fast as my agile legs would carry me. Why hadn't Jacob phased yet? I really couldn't be worried by that at the moment. I needed to get as far away from him as possible.

_Did Jacob Black just fucking kiss me or am I seriously losing my fucking mind?_

I shook the image of him kissing me from my head, and pushed my legs faster. My muscles instantly seized and I skidded to a halt as I heard a heartbreaking howl rip through the air.

_Jacob?_

Why was he not answering me? Why couldn't I hear him?

_Fuck it. I don't have time for this shit._

I ran until I reached my house. I phased just outside and booked it to my room in hopes that no one would see me running around naked. I ran straight up to my bedroom and flung my closet doors open. I grabbed an old backpack from the top shelf and almost ripped the zipper in my haste to get the damn thing open.

I pulled the drawers right out of my dresser and shoved as many clothes as I could fit into the bag. I snatched a pair of shorts and a tank top off that were left in the dresser, and quickly put them on before zipping the pack shut and flinging it over my shoulder. I took one last glance around my room to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything when I spotted my piggy bank.

"Mister Piggy," I whispered sadly before sprinting over and smashing it against the floor. Pink shards of porcelain flew in all directions, but all I cared about was the treasure inside.

I knelt down, ignoring the small pang as a shard of ceramic pierced my soft skin. I picked up the bleak contents of my bank and shoved the money into the front pocket of my shorts as I headed out to the hallway.

I flew down the stairs, out the front door and straight toward the Black's residence. I took a deep breath as I reached the front porch and slowly opened the door.

"Billy?" I questioned as I stepped over the threshold and into the house.

There was no answer. I assumed that he was probably out fishing with Charlie so I slowly made my way to Jacob's bedroom. I opened the door and was instantly surrounded by his luscious scent—pine, dirt, and a little of something else. I smiled sadly, cementing the smell into my memory as I grabbed a scrap piece of paper and a pen, pulling his book on auto-mechanics out from under an alarm clock against the wall.

I sat in the middle of his bed, folded my legs beneath me and set the book on top, followed by the paper onto my lap. I bit my lip as I begun to write.

_Jacob,_

_I don't have the slightest clue as to what came over you today, but it was a mistake. We can't do this. I can't do this. It would never work. I'm leaving La Push and I won't be coming back. Please don't come looking for me again. You won't find me and if you do, I'll just run. Have a nice life, Jacob. I won't miss you._

_Leah_

I set the book back on top of his pile of clothes and glanced around the room for a place to set the letter. I figured that if I left it on his dresser and set his keys on top of it, he'd be sure to find it sooner or later. I gingerly placed the letter on top of the chest of drawers as I picked up the keys right when inspiration struck me.

_Revenge! Oh, Jacob is going to be _so_ pissed when he finds out his car is missing! _

I bit my lip as an evil smirk spread across my face. I palmed the keys and hurried out to Jacob's makeshift garage. I opened the door and smiled when I saw the Rabbit. I slid in the driver's seat and threw my backpack on the passenger's side floor before starting it up and backing out.

I drove through La Push quickly, hoping that no one would notice that it was me driving Jacob's car. As soon as I hit the treaty line, I hit the gas and headed East.

* * *

I drove for about an hour before I glanced down at the gauge and realized I needed gas. I pulled into the next gas station, grabbed thirty bucks out of my pocket and headed inside. I snatched up a bag of chips and a soda before making my way to the attendant. I threw the money on the counter, still pissed over the day's events and told him to throw the change in the Rabbit.

I leaned up against the car as I waited for the tank to fill. I could hear some guys at the next pump talking about me but I chose to ignore them—for _their_ sakes. I couldn't afford to make a scene. I just needed to get the gas and get the fuck out of there.

"Hey baby!" One of the guys yelled from behind me.

_You have _got _to fucking be kidding me right now._

I turned around and rolled my eyes. "Can I help you?" I asked bitterly.

He smirked. "Actually, you can. Wanna go out tonight?" he asked as his eyes raked over my body.

_Disgusting ass pig. _"I would rather be massacred by an army of vampires than spend another damn second in your presence," I spat before turning around with a huff. I quickly put the nozzle back on the pump, hopped in the car and left.

_Seriously? Am I fucking in heat or something? What is going on with men today?_

I sighed as I pressed the gas pedal a bit further.

_Jacob Black kissed me. Didn't I just tell myself that he'd never kiss me? That this was all wishful thinking? Well, I got my wish. I got exactly what I wanted and I had to fucking ruin it. Typical Leah. _I snorted._ Hell, maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and none of this will have happened. I can go back to living my life and concentrating on getting out of La Push _the right way_. Find a job, get an apartment, and move far far away from everyone._

* * *

I'd been driving for a couple hours and it was starting to get dark. Not sleeping the night prior was really taking a toll on me. I kept yawning and I knew I had to find some place where I could sleep. I decided that the car was just going to have to do so I pulled off onto a deserted road. I parked the car and laid the seat back. I closed my eyes and snuggled into the chair, sighing as I drifted off to sleep, Jacob's scent filling my nostrils as I lapsed into unconsciousness.


	19. Chapter 19: What Have I Done?

The first drops of rain dusted the ground before me. A tear clouded in my eye, and by the time it had finally fell, I couldn't tell the difference between it and the rain.

I had to admit I was a little dumbfounded. I never expected to feel so alone and broken within a single minute of my unending life. My heart was undeniably damaged beyond repair, and all I wanted to do was destroy something. I begun running, not paying attention to the direction I was going in as I dodged branch after branch. I could feel the dirt in my claws, the wind whipping wildly through every strand of fur on my body, and the disgusting scent of blood once I had crossed over the treaty line.

I halted, digging my nails deep into the Earth. I gave the air another whiff before drawing back, knowing what I was smelling was without a doubt, one of the Cullen's.

I turned to run back the other way when the stench immediately became stronger.

"Jacob?" Edward's stone cold voice asked.

I huffed, not wanting to deal with confrontation right now. "_Edward_," I answered, hoping he knew how annoyed I was with his presence.

"I didn't think you would be—"

"_Exactly_," I interrupted shamelessly. "_You didn't think. That's your problem_."

"I'm not here to argue," he began. "I was only curious as to why you were out here, so far away from La Push.

Damn him and his curiosity. He had no right to be interested in what_ I _was doing, let alone feel anything at all.

"I_ didn't realize I had come this far_," I grumbled, turning to run far far away.

"Jacob, wait," he called. "I wanted to talk to you about our . . . situation."

I turned around, glaring dangerously into his dark golden eyes. "_I have nothing to say. Do what you want. It's you and your family's funeral_." I snapped my head back and took off in the opposite direction. I knew he would never chase after me. The treaty line was merely a mile away and I would reach it in only a few seconds. It was too much of a risk for him to take, but no matter what, I knew he would find another way to get his point across to me.

* * *

I ran constantly for almost thirty whole minutes before I was finally close enough to walk to my house on two legs. I was just about to phase back when I heard a distinct voice disrupt my thoughts.

"_Jacob_," Sam's voice demanded.

"_Sam_?" I was far beyond confused at this point.

"_You _need_ to get back to the house_," he voiced using his Alpha's tone. Stupid Sam. His commands couldn't touch me anymore.

I laughed inwardly. "_Get the hell out of my head and stop trying to tell me what to do_."

"_Jacob, I know this is as confusing for you as it is for me, but you _need_ to come back to La Push now. It is very important_."

I rolled my eyes. Who did Sam think he was? Certainly not my Alpha! "What is so important that you have to_ command_ me to come home when you know it's not going to work?"

"_Leah . . . is gone. She took your car and she left_."

My eyes bulged from my skull. I could picture it all in my head. Leah had snuck in my house and stole the keys to the Rabbit with a new plan to not only wreck my miserable fucking life, but now to wreck one of the only things I actually had left.

"_I'll be there_," I growled, panting hard as I made it back with the last bit of energy left in my body.

Phasing into my humiliated human self, I quickly ran into the house. My dad and Charlie were in the living room when I came in. My jaw dropped and my hand quickly moved over my private parts.

Charlie looked away waving his hands in every direction. "Oh God . . . um . . . wow, Jacob."

"I . . . I'm—never mind!" I shuddered. I was past embarrassed as I fleeted off to my room to grab something more appropriate to wear besides nothing in front of someone who could just as quickly throw my bare ass in jail for indecency.

When I closed my bedroom door behind me, I made a beeline for the closet, but stopped suddenly. Someone had been in here. I could smell the lilac and honey, the intoxicating scent of her sweet body as it filled my lungs, and the distinct aroma of coconut shampoo.

I slowly turned to look around my room, realizing that Leah had been in here to take my keys. My eyes scanned over the room once again before I saw a piece of paper lying on top of my dresser. I completely forgot about being naked and walked over to the note, calling out to be noticed.

I placed my fingers on top and gently slid it toward me, grasping the edge as I brought it close to my face.

_Jacob,_

I could hear her say my name.

_I don't have the slightest clue as to what came over you today, but it was a mistake._

It wasn't a mistake. What are you talking about? I love you. Can't you see that?

_We can't do this._

Yes we can.

_I can't do this._

If you would just let Sam go you _could_.

_It would never work._

How do you know?

_I'm leaving La Push and I won't be coming back._

No. Don't do this to me.

_Please don't come looking for me again._

You know I will.

_You won't find me and if you do, I'll just run._

I won't give up. You can't stay out there forever. I'll do whatever it takes to bring you back home, safe.

_Have a nice life, Jacob._

I can't have a life if it means I'm without you.

_I won't miss you._

You know that hurts me, but I know you will.

It was signed _Leah_.

I held the note close to me before I let it sweep down to the floor like a windblown feather. I stood staring at the wall asking myself the same question: What have I done?

The anger I built inside of me had been asking to be let out now for the last hour. If I would have attacked Edward, I knew I would be hearing directly from Bella about how selfish I was, or how I didn't care about anyone but my damn self.

My breathing labored itself as I glared harder at the white wall screaming at it to be a different color. Before I knew what had happened, my entire arm cascaded through the drywall and knocked a new drive through window into the bathroom.

"What the hell is going on in there Jacob!" my dad roared.


	20. Chapter 20: Choking On Nothing

I awoke to the sun shining brightly through the car window. I groaned as I squeezed my eyes shut and flipped over to try and block it out but was unsuccessful. I buried my face in the headrest and inhaled the unique and delicious scent that could only be Jacob Black. I sighed as I sat the chair back up and crawled out of the car, my muscles protesting the entire time. His tiny ass little car was not a comfortable place for someone of my height to be sleeping in. I slammed the door shut and leaned back against the car as I stretched all of my limbs.

_I really need a run. My muscles are fucking killing me._

I grunted as I pushed away from the car and headed towards the woods. I was hoping that Jacob wouldn't be phased so that I wouldn't have to try and reason with him. I knew he would just try and get me to come back home. I wasn't about to even consider going along with that.

I slipped out of my clothes under the coverage of the forest. I folded them neatly, taking my time and set them beside a tree. There was no need to tie them to my ankle when I knew I'd be coming back to that spot anyway. I took a deep breath as I held my arms out and pulled the heat from deep within me. I was on all fours in a single second.

_Much better, _I mused as I shook out my coat and sprinted forward. I smiled inwardly at the fact that I was alone and didn't have to deal with being scolded by one of those insignificant boys for running off again.

I had been running for about an hour, concentrating on nothing else but the expanding and contracting of my muscles before I felt the slight shimmer of someone phasing.

_Shit! _I thought as I instantly turned on my hind legs and headed back towards the car.

"_Leah?" _Sam questioned.

I snorted. "_Who the hell else would it be? You know where all your precious boys are. Fucking idiot," _I thought as I rolled my eyes.

"_Cut the crap, Leah,"_ he advised,obviously beyond infuriated with me.

"_Cut the crap? What the fuck do you want, Sam?" _I demanded to know as I continued to sprint towards the car as fast as I could. I had to phase back before Sam could go all high and mighty _Alpha _on me, forcing me to retreat and go home.

"_Actually, I need a favor,"_ he admitted begrudgingly. I could feel how torturous it was for him to ask for my help.

"_Wait, wait, wait. Samuel fucking Uley is asking for _my_ help?" _I boasted.

"_Shut up," _he growled.

"_Ha! Well, out with it already. What the hell could you possibly need my help for?" _I questioned, completely intrigued by what his answer might be.

"_I need you to come back home and convince Jacob to join the pack again. This whole thing between __the two of you_—_whatever it is_—_is tearing the pack apart and I won't have it," _he thought morosely. I could feel the undertone to his thoughts as he spoke of Jacob and I together. He was disgusted by it.

"_Join the pack again? What the fuck are you talking about?" _I had no idea what the hell he was getting at. I was completely confused.

"_He didn't tell you?" _he asked with a chuckle. "_I told Jacob he wasn't allowed to see you outside of patrols and he defied me. He's his own Alpha now, Leah. He no longer belongs to our pack." _he advised before running through the incident in Jacob's living room for me to see.

I could see the car and my clothes ahead of me but I got interrupted from my mission when Sam got to the part where Jacob punched him. I ended up rolling over in a fit of boisterous laughter.

"_Damn, Sam! Have you become a human punching bag or what?" _I wailed between giggles.

"_Shut up, Leah!" _he roared in his Alpha voice.

I instantly stopped laughing and dropped onto my stomach. I crawled the last couple feet to get to my clothes.

_So that's why he couldn't hear my thoughts last night? _I said to myself, completely forgetting that Sam could hear me.

"_Yeah, sure. Whatever. Are you going to help me or not?" _he asked, commandment in his tone. He was really starting to piss me off.

"_No. I'm not going to help you for two _very_ different reasons. One, Jacob is not my responsibility. He is a grown man and can do as he sees fit with his life. Talk to Billy if you're looking for someone to boss him around. And two, I don't owe you a damn thing. You've done nothing but ruin my life. Why the fuck would I help you?" _I asked incredulously.

He was pacing back and forth now, debating what to do or say to make me help him. I knew the Alpha command was coming before he had fully decided to use it. I was prepared, ready to phase at a moment's notice to avoid it.

"_Leah Clearwater, get home now and fix the mess that you've created," _he commanded.

My entire body shuddered and a small whimper escaped from my throat under the weight of his command. I had to fight it. I couldn't go back.

"_No." _My thought was barely a whisper.

"_No? You can't tell me . . ." _His thoughts faded out as I forced myself back into my human form.

I could still feel the weight of Sam's command practically crushing me as everything I had shook uncontrollably. I laid there for a good ten minutes as the pain slowly became more bearable before diminishing to nothing.

I rose to my feet weakly and slid my clothes back on before making my way back to the car. I smiled as I slid into the drivers seat and was instantly surrounded by his exquisite scent. What I wouldn't give to wake up to that every morning.

I sighed as I started the car and headed out in search of a fast food joint with a dollar menu.


	21. Chapter 21: Never Is Too Long

The heat in my body rolled off my skin with unstoppable force. A quick shiver down my spine and a deep breath later, I was tearing through my drawers in search of clothes. I grabbed a pair of briefs, dark denim jeans, and a light gray t-shirt, throwing them on as fast as I could. When my bedroom door swung open violently, Charlie stood completely astounded in the doorway.

"Jacob," he questioned with a wrinkled brow. "What the hell did you do in here?"

I didn't have time to be interrogated. Leah could seriously injure herself driving that car. Did she even have a license for Christ's sake? "I'm, uh . . . remodeling," I lied, flinging my closet door open.

"Well alright then, but I think you should probably let Billy know if you plan to make the only bathroom in your house a new entrance."

Charlie was so oblivious. Or maybe he wasn't, he would just rather stay out of awkward situations like this one. I laughed, poking my head out of the closet momentarily to look back at him. "So why are you here? Bella didn't send you in her place, did she?" I tried to laugh off the momentary pang in my chest from saying her name.

He straighten up, placing his hands on his hips and clearing his throat. "I'm sure you already know this by now, but Bells came to me the other day with Edward, and well . . . they're getting married."

To say that every potential part of me shook violently with every possible tremor, would seriously be an understatement. "I. Know," I said, my teeth clenched together tightly.

"Oh, well," he mumbled, coughing into his fist, "I came by so you could file charges on the runaway—Lisa, I think."

"It's Leah!" I shouted at him. Charlie stepped back a foot or so, holding up his hands in defense as I continued searching through the disaster in my closet. "And I don't want to file charges."

"Oh," he responded blankly. "Well I—"

"I'm going after her myself. I don't need your help," I crudely declared, resuming my activities as I ransacked through the junk in my closet.

Charlie shrugged and left me alone in my wake of fury. Tears began streaming down my face as I angrily tore through bags of old memories that had long since faded. There were years of photographs and collectables that had long since been neglected. I tossed them aside until I found a sturdy silver ornate jewelry box lined with gold patterns etched into the surfaces on each side. I took it back to my bed where I grabbed the mattress and flipped it off onto the floor, grabbing a tiny key bounded by a silver necklace. I intertwined it through my fingers and let the pendant rest in my palm. I grabbed a foldout chair from the wall and fanned it out, sitting down with the jewelery box balanced on my knee.

"Only in emergencies," I whispered to myself. "And _this_ is an emergency."

Inhaling, I took the key in between my thumb and index finger, my left hand pressing on the top of the box. I placed the key inside the lock and twisted it, as a popping sound assured me that the tiny chest was now unlocked. Gently opening the hatch, I stared down at the only thing my sister, Rachel had left with me before she had abandoned my dad and I for what she called _college._ I grabbed the hundred dollar bill and jammed it into my pocket before setting the other items aside and trotting causally into the kitchen.

"What were you doing in your bedroom Jacob?" my dad asked suspiciously as he rolled his wheelchair behind me.

"Nothing that wouldn't surprise you," I said coolly, downing an entire bag of pretzels.

He admired my eating habits as a few crumbs tumbled onto my shirt. "Jacob, this is _not_ the time to act like Paul when—"

"Hey Jake, are you—oh hey, Billy!" Seth voiced as he happily made his way into the kitchen.

I put down a can of Spaghetti O's I was about to devour. "What are you doing here, Seth?"

"Well Jake, I," he answered slowly. "I came to join your pack!" He was way too hyper.

The words hit me like a cold splash of water to my face. "Seth, no. I don't want a pack."

"Too late! I've already chosen you over Sam," he admitted proudly.

I groaned, wishing it hadn't come down to a choice like this. Any member of the pack could break away from Sam if they chose to and join me since there were two Alpha's in the mix now. I didn't like it. There shouldn't have been choices. What if I wasn't a good leader? I couldn't even keep myself in check, let alone manage another distraction in my life.

"Seth I know you just want to find your sister but I—"

"Jake, stop trying to think of excuses for me to leave. You're going to need more help than you think to look for Leah, especially if she has wheels now."

"Yeah, don't remind me," I uttered, slamming the opened can of unheated tomato sauce and round o's into my face.

"She's just scared, Jacob. I'm pretty sure she thinks this is going to be like Sam imprinting on Emily all over again."

"She doesn't want me," I mumbled, laughing lightly as I licked the corners of my mouth. "But I'm not . . . going to abandon her when I made her do this."

"How do you know? How can you tell what Leah feels and what she doesn't for you?"

I tossed the empty can into the trash and went for the refrigerator. "I kissed her today and she smacked me and told me to go to hell. If that's not the most obvious sign, I don't know what is." I snatched an off brand three liter of soda, unscrewed the top and downed it in under fifteen seconds.

"She freaking wants you man," Seth blurted out and the drink that hadn't went down my throat spewed everywhere.

"Seth!" I yelled, choking on Mountain Lighting as it went up my nose and burned my nostrils. "You can _not_ say stuff like that to me while I'm drinking." I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, trying to recover. My dad cocked a brow and moved into the living room.

"You know I shouldn't have to tell you to clean this up," he said flatly before leaving Seth and I by ourselves.

"I'm serious, Jake. I was sort of . . . eavesdropping the other night when Leah finally came back. She was talking to our mom about how she felt about you. She said she would never admit it, but she liked you—a lot."

I was completely blown away. _Leah_, having feelings for _me_? I didn't know what to say. I wanted it to be true. I mean I knew Seth would never lie to me, but if this _was_ the case, then what was all of this bullshit for? Was she just trying to play hard to get with me or something? It wasn't turning me on. Not in the least bit.

I shook my head. "Regardless, I—" I looked at Seth. Hope was bright in his eyes. "I mean _we_ are going to go look for your sister."

Seth smiled, and before I even realized what I was doing, Seth and I were in my garage firing up the two motorcycles that had once been Bella and I's friendship project.


	22. Chapter 22: You're Not Alone Tonight

Seth was by my side as we flew almost eighty miles per hour down the slick interstate. The wind whipped through my shaggy hair and for the first time in months, I felt like me again.

The pavement was soaked with rain from the storm that had just passed over, but the air that surrounded us was crisp and clean, filling our lungs with the oxygen we definitely needed.

To top things off, Seth seemed to thoroughly be enjoying himself and I was more than a little surprised he had taken on so quickly to riding the bike like it was a natural part of who he was.

At times I knew he wanted to race me and in any other situation I probably would have accepted his challenge, but we had to find Leah. She had to come before anything else. I silently vowed I would find her in twenty-four hours or less and not a second more.

When day faded into night, I was thankful that we both had headlights on our only mode of transportation. Nothing but the dark woods surrounded us on either side as we slowed down, about an hour out of Forks.

"We're probably going to need some gas soon," I called out to Seth who was keeping pace on my right flank. He nodded, speeding ahead of me. I decided to play his game this once, twisting my throttle as I easily caught up with him. He laughed and acknowledged the tiny gas station in the distance. I agreed with his suggestion and we both pulled into the entrance just as Seth's engine sputtered, stalling out the second we had safely coasted off the highway.

"I guess it's a good thing we made it here when we did," Seth said laughing.

"Yeah, we were really lucky," I mumbled as two guys and a girl came bustling out of the store with armfuls of sodas, candy, and chips. I watched them suspiciously as one guy, big and brawny, stared at Seth who wasn't paying attention to the action taking place behind him.

"Do we have a problem?" I agitatedly asked the guy.

He smirked. "No problem," the idiot answered in a sarcastic tone. "I just like your girlfriend's bike," he remarked, snickering a bit.

The girl, a short, skinny brunette, slapped him playfully across the arm. "You're such an ass, Rob," she muttered. I couldn't agree with her more.

I glanced back at Seth who looked like he was about to open his mouth and say something indecisive. I gave him a look of disapproval and that idea was quickly smashed.

They all piled into a tiny red pick up truck, cranking the engine and peeling off, skid marks and smoke left in their aftermath. I watched their tail lights fade into the pitch black night before Seth spoke again.

"And to think we were meant to protect _that_," he noted, resting his hand on the seat of the bike.

I took a deep breath, fighting off the urge to phase and give those damn jerks something to laugh about. Catching up to them and tipping their little getaway vehicle would be easier than breathing. The thought was tempting.

Letting the cool breeze calm my nerves and ease my frustration, I dug in my pocket for the money I had taken earlier and handed it to Seth. "Get thirty bucks in gas and some snacks for yourself if you want them."

Seth eyed the money nervously. "Whoa, Jake. You didn't . . . steal that from Billy did you?" he asked uneasily.

"Seth!" I disputed, not approving of his lack of faith in me. "I can't believe you would even think I would do something so crazy." I extended my arm out further for him to take the money. Again, he just stared, almost perplexed that I could even have that much cash in my possession. "You know that's really insulting," I said in disappointment when he still hadn't accepted it.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I don't mean to think like that about you. I mean I know you would never hurt your dad like that and I—"

"Rachel," I interrupted him. "Rachel left me with my mom's jewelry box and told me that if I ever fell on a hard time, to use the key she left and open it. I had to admit even _I_ was a little surprised by the amount I found inside."

"Oh." Seth nodded, slightly embarrassed. He took the money from my hand and walked inside the store. I smiled, thinking _Man that kid has got a lot to learn_, as I reached for the gas pump and started filling the first bike's tank.

* * *

Later during the night we pulled off the main highway and parked our motorcycles on the side of the road. Seth looked unreasonably tired and I could feel the lack of sleep catching up to me as well. It easily had to have been somewhere after four in the morning, and we weren't finding Leah any faster by just riding around with no indication of where we were even going.

"We need to run this entire area and see if we can catch at least a faint scent or something," I told him as a yawn escaped my throat.

"How do we even know she's out this far?" Seth asked, pulling the kickstand down with his foot and leaning it toward him.

"Leah isn't stupid. She wouldn't run the same way twice—or drive, in this case. She knows she would never make it across the Canadian border on wheels, so she's got to have headed east or south."

"And your hunch was east?"

I shrugged. "I guess I'm taking my chances, but how far can she actually get before she runs out of gas?"

"She broke her piggy bank," Seth commented, sighing. "There was at least fifty dollars in there! Leah saves _every_ penny from Christmases and birthdays."

"Well at least we have a knowledgeable range of what she's working with," I assured him.

"I'll take north and south," Seth declared changing the subject as he stripped off his shirt and shorts. "You take east and west."

I agreed, mimicking the same maneuver with my own clothes. "We'll meet back here in and hour and a half."

We both sat our clothes on the seats of our bikes, phasing. We glanced back one last time at each other, and I jetted off in the opposite direction, leaving Seth behind me.

As I pushed myself harder than I had ever run before, I immediately noticed that the pain in my shoulder no longer existed. All I had to do was focus on Leah's scent and pray that I caught wind of it out here in the middle of pretty much nowhere.

After about ninety minutes had quickly passed, a familiar voice called out in the empty space of my mind. _"Jacob?"_

"Seth?" I answered, surprised that he was in my head. _"You can . . . I can . . . we can hear each other?"_ Suddenly, I no longer felt alone.

"_I guess so!"_ he beamed. _"I was so busy concentrating, I didn't even think about anything else."_

"_Did you find anything yet?"_ I inquired with metaphorical fingers crossed.

"_Not even a damn trace. What about you?"_

"_No. Nothing,"_ I responded. _"Phase and I'll meet you back at the bikes in five minutes."_

"_Sure thing, Alpha Jake,"_ he said obediently, his tongue lazily hanging out of his jaw as he shimmered out of my head and into himself again.

I rolled my eyes. I hated playing Alpha to Seth. It just felt so wrong. I didn't really want to command him to do anything, it just kind of slipped out without me meaning to say it like an order. I shrugged it off, picking up my pace before a strong wind blew a familiar sweet scent straight into my nostrils. Distracted in the moment, I flew straight into a tree.

Shaking off my small accident, although unfortunate for the now leaning spruce, I sniffed the air once again, validating my senses.

_Leah,_ I thought to myself. _There's no way that intoxicating scent is anyone else but Leah._

I bounded in the direction of the aroma and followed it across the Idaho state line. I stopped, losing the scent completely on a back road, but was satisfied to a point of knowing we were headed in the right direction.

I paced myself all the way back to Seth, content on having a new lead. I looked both ways up the street before stepping out from the cover of the trees, completely naked.

"It's just me," I warned, making my way to waiting clothes on the bike's seat. Seth turned, his arms folded across his chest.

"I thought you said five minutes," he uttered, smiling still the same.

"I caught wind of something. I think it's Leah," I told him breathlessly as I dressed myself. "No, I take that back. It most definitely _is_ Leah."

Seth's grin spread further across his too happy, but tired face. "Jacob," he began enthusiastically before his mood was calm again, "Thank you."

I laughed. "We haven't even found her yet," I stated sadly.

"We will," he said with promise.

I didn't argue as we fired up the bikes and made our way due east. The sun blazed in bright shades of pink and orange over the horizon. We were both tired, but I was determined to find Leah today, even if it killed me.


	23. Chapter 23: Wreckage Of My Past

After devouring enough McDonald's to feed a small family, I hopped back in the car and hit up the gas station. I put the last twenty bucks I had into the tank before continuing my seemingly endless road trip.

I let out a sigh of relief as a smile spread across my face when I finally saw the _Welcome to Idaho_ sign. I knew it was only one state over, but at least I was out of Washington and far away from Jacob.

_Jacob has to have gone home by now. He probably destroyed something when he found out I took his car. I really shouldn't have done this. This stupid ugly thing was his pride and joy and I ripped it right out from under him._

I fully intended to bring it back after a couple of hours and then disappear on foot, but being in this car, surrounded by his scent was just too much for me to pass up.

_This car is all I'll ever have left of him. One day, his smell will fade and be replaced with my own, but for now it still lingers. I can close my eyes, take in lung fulls of pine, dirt and Jacob and see his beautiful face as it had been staring into my eyes many hours before._

I could see it all so clearly inside my head. His perfect white smile would beam as his gaze fell on me with the magnificent russet color of his skin stretched over the vast planes of muscle along his glorious body. His hair would be a sexy tousled mess from phasing and his lips would, no doubt be soft and perfect. I'll never forget the way they felt against mine, even though I denied him regrettably now. And who could forget his eyes? I could surely get lost in them forever. They were so dark, almost black, but they were simply mesmerizing.

I growled as I flicked the radio on, turning it up as loud as it would go to drown out my thoughts. I needed to stop thinking about how flawless he was before I lost all my senses and went running back to him.

I used to be the girl who followed her heart no matter what the circumstances were. I was a carefree spirit who floated through each day with a smile on my face. I was fully convinced that I had the rest of my life set and mapped out.

I was planning to marry Sam Uley—my heart, my soul mate, and my everything. Maybe I was young and naïve but I hadn't kept myself guarded with him. I literally gave him all of me—mind, body and spirit.

Everything was perfect with Sam up until the day he disappeared. We had gotten into the one and only fight to ever plague our relationship at the time and I can't even remember what it was over. I distinctly remembered my heart fracturing as his shaking form tore out of the house like a bat out of hell. I was so fucking confused in that one tiny moment I almost self-diagnosed myself with a post-traumatic stress disorder. One minute we're laying on the couch watching a movie and the next he's screaming and shaking like I've never seen before. I thought it was because of me.

He had been gone for exactly two weeks. For fourteen miserable days I laid crying in bed. Fourteen fucking days that I didn't eat, sleep or speak to a damn person. When he did finally come back, he wasn't the same Sam that I had known and loved. His boyish charm was gone and replaced with more sculpted and toned features. He seemed to have aged slightly, definitely grown taller and was much more muscular.

I tried to ignore all the red warning signs that were flashing right in front of my face as I was just trying to get back to a normal life, but things were never the same after that. I wasn't stupid or oblivious like he had hoped. I knew something had happened that he wasn't telling me. He didn't just go on vacation for two weeks to come back and suddenly become best friends with the council.

As angry as I was, I was more hurt than anything. Every time he went out I knew he wasn't going home. When he attended a meeting and came back all buddy buddy with my dad, the realization of a lie tore open the gash in my heart a little bit further.

The day he told me about Emily was the day I vowed to never love again. My entire being felt like it had just been chucked into a wood chipper, and the small fragments of my former self were being burned piece by miserable piece.

I was bound and determined not to let Sam get the best of me. I wasn't going to wallow in my own pity for the rest of my life. I was Leah fucking Clearwater and I was not about to let some arrogant fucking prick keep me from living my life. Slowly but surely, I picked up the pieces of my heart. I knew the damage was beyond repair so I locked up what was left in a small cage within my chest where they would forever sit, burned and broken.

I glanced down at the dash and realized that I was almost out of gas—again.

"Shit!" I exclaimed as I punched the steering wheel.

I was completely out of money and had to figure out what my next plan was for when I ran out of gas. I was going to have to continue my journey on foot, but I was nowhere near the closest town. The thought of the miles I'd have to walk irked me.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath as the car slowly came to a stop.

I grabbed my backpack off the floor, shoving the keys in the front pocket as I opened my door. I growled as I stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut angrily behind me.

_I really should have thought this out more thoroughly before running off._

I left the car stranded on the side of the road as I begun walking towards the next town. Of course I had to run out of gas on a fucking deserted road. I sighed as kicked the dirt while I walked. I strained to hear as far as I could but there were only the sounds of the animals running through the barren woods beside me.

I walked at least five miles before I finally heard two motorcycles come up behind me. I ignored them at first—I wasn't going to try and hitch a ride on a bike. When they didn't pass by me, my curiosity peaked. I glanced over my shoulder to see who it was and almost tripped over my own feet in surprise. I turned completely around and continued to walk backwards.

"What the fuck are you two doing here? How the hell did you find me?" I scolded. They must not have slept because they looked completely exhausted.

Jacob and Seth just looked at each other before getting off the bikes and setting them down on the ground. They began walking towards me and I quickened my pace.

"Leah," Seth started, "We came to bring you home." He smiled hopefully. It was going to kill me to crush his hopes.

They were still pursuing me so I took a few steps to the right so I could walk on the pavement and avoid the potholes on the side of the road.

"Seth, I'm not coming home." I practically whispered as I smiled sadly at him, willing him to understand.

"But you have to!" he shouted. "Mom needs you. I need you." He glanced up at Jacob before continuing. "And Jake needs you."

I gazed over at Jacob for the first time since they had arrived. My memory hadn't done him justice.

"Nobody _needs_ me, Seth." I stated as I continued to look at Jacob. "You'll all be just fine without me." I took off in a dash across the road, looking back at Jacob.

His lips parted as if he were going to say something but he didn't whisper a word. Instead, his eyes went wide and he reached a hand out towards me as Seth simultaneously screamed my name.

Everything happened so fast. I heard tires screeching as my body was flung like a rag doll onto the side of the road. I screamed at the pain that was ripping through my veins as I attempted hopelessly to stand. Tears clouded my vision and I tried mercilessly to blink them away. I could barely see Jacob and Seth hovering over me as my vision began to fade. I whimpered a small "I love you" to both of them before the blackness finally consumed me.


	24. Chapter 24: The Consequences Of Love

The moment it happened, my heart almost stopped. I was moving so slow as I reached out my hand to her, but it wasn't enough. A transfer truck—18 wheels of unstoppable force—skidded across the dark asphalt, trying to avoid Leah who had dodged straight in front of it. There was a loud pounding noise in my ears and a tear streamed down my face upon realizing it was too late. Leah was flung into the air, landing several yards away, blood pooling from her head and leg. The truck came to an admirable stop, but no one got out. The front bumper of the Mac was dented slightly, but that was the last thing I noticed or even cared about.

"Leah!" I screamed, as Seth and I raced to her side. She was barely moving, let alone breathing.

"I love you," she mumbled, falling limp on the pavement.

I gently touched her face, flawed with rips of tiny flesh, blood trickling down her cheek, almost like a tear. "Leah, I love you too." I was sobbing inconsolably. "Please don't leave me," I pleaded, brushing her dark hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

"Jake," Seth cried, breathing heavily.

I looked back at him. He stood, frozen staring at his lifeless sister in a puddle of blood. I panicked. Leah couldn't go to a hospital. They would know she was different when they took her temperature at a staggering one-hundred and eight degrees. Plus, no one would be able to explain her supernatural healing abilities. I had just hoped that she would even heal at all. Some things were so much different for her because she was the only girl to ever go through _this_ change.

A man finally stepped out of his truck, jumping down onto the road and slowly walking toward us. He was large and round with a dark brown beard, probably in his mid-40's. He wore a red plaid shirt and tight blue jeans with a leather belt and a buckle that said _Ricky_ in large silver letters.

"Oh lord! What have I done?" the man asked in a raw southern accent.

"Seth, I need you to do something very quickly for me," I said in a hushed voice as the man, red faced and distressed approached us.

"Anything," he blubbered. "Just don't let my sister die."

"Carlisle is the only one who can help us," I murmured to him as I ripped the top half of the straps on Leah's backpack and took it from underneath her as gently as possible. "I need you to run back as fast as you can to Forks and beg him for his help."

Seth nodded and darted into the woods. He disappeared into the shadows before I saw him phase in the far distance, inconspicuous to human eyes.

The man took out his cell phone and started dialing nervously.

"That's not going to be necessary," I said abruptly, my eyes moving between him and an unconscious Leah.

"You can't just let her lay there and bleed to death, son," he argued, looking away from his phone momentarily to glance back at me.

"A . . . doctor is already on his way," I stated, quickly turning my attention back to Leah. I put two fingers at the base of her neck and counted off on her pulse. "Slow," I muttered to myself. "Her pulse is so slow."

"She's bleeding pretty badly," he acknowledged, stepping more closely to us. I didn't want him to come any further. What if he tried to hurt her even more?

He knelt down beside me. I watched him cautiously out of the corner of my eye, ready to fight him if he even so much as laid a finger on her delicate body. When he reached out to touch what I thought would be her leg, I stopped him.

"Don't," I warned, my fingers gripping a little too tightly around his wrist.

"She's bleeding profusely from her leg. If you can't stop the bleeding soon, she could die from loss of blood."

I looked down at Leah's leg, confused. There was blood spilling from the large gash, and my chest suddenly caught on fire. "What do we do?" I yelled at him, so distraught over the situation.

His eyes scanned over her entire body for a moment in panic. Then, he reached for his belt and unbuckled it.

"What the hell are you—"

"Lift her leg up so I can get this thing around it," he demanded, yanking the belt through the loops in his pants.

I hesitated at first, but quickly did as he said. I held Leah's leg just high enough for him to get the belt around it.

"I think she's severed an artery. That cut looks pretty deep," the man acknowledged as he looped the belt through the brass fitting and pulled it tightly around her thigh.

I was shaking from head to toe, trying to fight back the urge to phase and escape from this place with Leah on my back. The man just kept examining her and checking her pulse, and I had no other choice but to let him. I didn't know the first thing about keeping someone alive, yet I would have given anything Leah needed from my own body to keep her that way.

"I'm Ricky, by the way," he said as a sigh of relief escape his throat. He held out his hand for me to shake.

"Jacob," I answered blankly, not taking my eyes away from Leah. I wasn't about to direct my attention toward anyone else. I wouldn't miss even the slightest change in her condition.

About ten long minutes and a throbbing headache later, I heard footsteps grinding against the pavement down the road. Ricky glanced, surprised when he saw four vampires, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, Edward and one Seth coming toward us.

"That's the uh, . . . doctor and his . . . assistants," I lied willingly.

"That is the scariest group of people I have ever seen," Ricky admitted, a hint of fear in his voice.

"They can be at times," I joked, hoping to calm his nerves until Carlisle had approached us.

The man cautiously stood up, careful not to alarm the newcomers.

"Hello," Carlisle greeted, an oversized medical bag in his right hand. "I'm Doctor Carlisle Cullen, Jacob's friend."

The man backed away, feeling threatened. Edward laughed to himself, probably reading the guy's thoughts about how disgustingly repelling they all were.

"If you hate us so much, why did you ask for our help?" Edward asked in his politely smooth voice.

"I only recall asking for Carlisle's help, not yours!" I snarled, feeling vulnerable in his presence. I stood up against him, but he only smiled back at me.

"You would choose to fight me right here, right now, over reassuring yourself Leah's even going to make it?"

I turned back, staring at Carlisle on the ground with Leah's unmoving body as he strapped a mask to her face and turned on a small machine in his bag.

"She . . . can't breath?" I whispered, feeling my heart pound against the barrier of my chest in the pain.

"Her breathing is very shallow I'm afraid. Alice is on her way with a vehicle to—"

Before Carlisle could even think to finish his sentence, a sleek, gray Aston Martin Vantage came speeding toward us at well over a hundred miles per hour. The man that had hit Leah started back toward his truck, his face pale white with fear. Everyone ignored him.

The car slammed on the brakes and stopped just feet before Jasper and Emmett, their arms crossed with an anxious grin on their stone-hard faces. I waited, not being able to see who or what was behind the solid black tinted glass. The driver opened the door and a tiny figure stepped out into the cloudy light. It was that damn pixie vampire with the visions, Alice.

"Sorry I'm late," she trilled, slamming the door closed. "Apparently the police don't like it when you—oh hello there," she called out to the man whose back was firmly against the side of his truck. "You look terrible. Perhaps you need a nap?" Alice shrugged, leaving the man to cringe at the sight of her, joining the three brothers at the half-circle now formed around Carlisle and Leah.

"We need to get her into the car," Carlisle advised as he listened to her heartbeat with his stethoscope. "Edward, Emmett, you two take one side, Alice and Jasper, you take the other."

He began gathering everything into his bag as the four vampires quickly approached Leah's body. Carlisle took one last glance over her and stood up, motioning for them to go ahead with his plan.

I took a deep breath, trying to allow them to do what I knew Carlisle had approved, but it was too hard to see the girl I now had strong feelings for being touched by the things who would kill the girl I used to love.

They each bent down and with only their fingers, lifting Leah effortlessly into the air, carrying her to the car. I watched nervously as Seth finally came over, his hands trembling. I wrapped one arm around his shoulders and pulled him toward me. He turned into me, hugging me tightly. My mouth opened and I let a gasp fall from lips, but returned the hug. He begun crying into my shirt and I watched as they gently sat Leah into the lowered passenger seat, the oxygen mask still attached to her face. A single tear trailed down my cheek and descended onto my neck. Jasper quietly shut the door, and I could no longer see Leah. Seth turned out of my chest and looked back at the car. He let go of me before standing on his own again. Alice tossed the keys to Carlisle who caught them in midair, already in the driver's seat half a second later.

I heard the sound of a cranking engine from behind me, loud and obnoxious. It wasn't the Aston Martin, it was the transfer truck. I looked behind me and up into the cab where the horrified Ricky was trying anxiously to pull away.

"Let him go," Jasper insisted. "I think he's seen enough of our . . . _abilities_ today." He smiled crookedly as the 18 wheeler begun to pull away. I swallowed hard before a second engine started, this one powerful and even in RPM. The Vantage made a slight U-turn in the narrow street and then sped off in the other direction.

"That wasn't our car, Alice," Edward remarked.

"No, but I can be very persuasive when it comes to deals," she smirked, smiling smugly as she skipped off to the edge of the forest. "Well are you boys coming or are you going to let Carlisle beat us back home in a _car_?"

Emmett chuckled. "Last one home is a wet d—vampire!" he shouted excitedly. I huffed, stomping past them into the woods. "Oh Jacob, come on. I didn't mean the, er, dog joke," Emmett called after me. Everyone followed behind as I stripped down to literally nothing.

"I can hold those if you'd like," Alice offered, coming closer to me than comfort allowed.

"No!" I snapped. "I'll just carry them in my mouth." I looked back before I phased, seeing Jasper and Edward, each carrying one of the motorcycles.

"What are you doing?" I asked them angrily.

"You can't just leave these things all the way out here with no plan to ever come back and get them," Edward stated, Jasper nodding in agreement.

"I don't need your logical answers for every damn thing," I argued. "Do what you want. I can't stand to look them anymore." I took off running, stuffing my clothes into my mouth before shifting into the self I wanted to be at all times. I had been holding back so much anger I couldn't even think of anything else but getting back to Leah's side when she and Carlisle had arrived.

* * *

I beat the Cullens back to their house about two minutes before they came snaking through the woods. I was on the porch, overlooking the river when I saw them cross over. Alice was the first to greet me in her annoying little high pitched shrill she called a voice. She was followed by her crazy eyed emotional boyfriend, Jasper, lumberjack axeman Emmett, and Bella murderer, Edward. He and Jasper sat the bikes in the driveway just as Seth came into view, just pulling his T-shirt over his abdomen and brushing a few pine needles off his shoulder.

"Carlisle is about an hour away. He's pulling over two hundred on the freeway," Alice sighed, unlocking the front door and inviting me inside. "You should come in, Jacob. Maybe catch up on the sleep I'm sure you haven't gotten while you've been out looking for Leah." I couldn't argue. I was too tired.

I walked inside their house, amazed that it was lavishing and fancy with seamless furniture and eighteenth century art hanging everywhere. The one and only time I had been here was in June at their graduation party just before the newborns had planned an attacked. It was now August 3rd and the same atmosphere that had been here months ago, was now just a normal arrangement of couches and coffee tables.

"There are rooms upstairs, if you'd prefer a bed. The couches, I'm sure are just as comfortable if you don't want to be confined to an unknown space."

I looked down at the white sofa and laid across it. Groaning, I rested my head underneath a pillow that was laying perfectly in the corner between the arm and back. Soon, my exhaustion took over my body and I fell asleep before I even had a chance to protest.

* * *

My eyes opened sleepily to someone shaking my arm. "Jacob, wake up," Seth's voice pleaded. "They're here."

I blinked a couple of times, trying to clear my vision. I had begun to sit up, feeling almost light-headed when I heard a commotion of noise upstairs. Flying off the couch, I booked it up the steps and into a bedroom that had no other furniture aside from a large four poster bed. Leah was laying lifeless on her back with tubes and wires hanging onto her from every visible area of skin. Her arm and ribs were wrapped in white bandages and her leg was covered with a dressing of gauze and medical tape.

"Leah!" I shouted, a stream of salt water pouring from my eyes.

Carlisle looked up and rushed over to me. I fought back as he stepped in front of my path, blocking Leah from my sight.

"I'm sorry Jacob," he said remorsefully. "I have to ask you to leave. Leah is dying."


	25. Chapter 25: Just Like A Rootless Tree

I awoke with a start as a piercing ring shrilled through my head. I tightly squeezed my eyes shut, willing the sound to stop. As it slowly dissipated, I weakly peaked at my surroundings, realizing that the room I was in and the bed I had apparently slept in last night wasn't my own.

_Where the hell am— _My thought was cut short as my gaze fell on Jacob. He was sitting beside the bed, tears streaming down his grief-stricken face.

_Why is he crying?_ I asked myself.

I tried to sit up, but I couldn't seem to force my body to move with a normal amount of effort.

_Why the fuck can't I get up?_

Bracing myself, I put one hand on each side of my body and forcefully pushed upward into a sitting position. It took much more strength than it should have, but I had more pressing questions that needed to be answered at the moment.

"Jacob?" I asked.

There was no response. Not even a small flinch to let me know he had heard me.

I reached my hand out to shove his shoulder and get his attention, fighting the seemingly unstoppable gravity that was weighing down on me. I froze in shock as my hand entered my line of sight. My eyes went wide as I stared hopelessly down at the foggy figure that represented my hand.

_What the fuck?_ I thought as I flipped my palm over before slamming it back down on the mattress and turning my attention back toward Jacob.

I used all the strength I had to stand.

I whipped around to face Jacob, ready to demand the answers that I so desperately sought. Before I could get a word out, Carlisle appeared at his side and gingerly placed his hand on Jacob's shoulder.

_Where the fuck did he come from? I should have heard him coming!_ I took in a frustrated breath to try and calm myself. _And why can't I smell that awful stench?_ I thought as I slowly backed away from them. The force of the gravity seemed to decrease exponentially as the distance between Jacob and I accrued.

I threw my head back and let out an exasperated sigh before rolling my neck around in a stress relieving circle, glancing back at Jacob and Carlisle. I was still so confused as to what the hell was going on and I needed answers_—_now. When I turned my attention to the bed, the sight before me put everything into place.

My body, broken, bloody, bruised and almost lifeless laid out before Jacob as he helplessly clung to my hand. The rise and fall of my chest was almost unnoticeable as my physical self struggled to breath. I couldn't hear what was being said, but the uncontrollable sobs wracking Jacob's body said enough. I wanted to hold him in that moment, rock him in my arms and tell him everything would be okay, but I knew I wasn't going to make it through this.

I looked down at my hand again to make sure that what I thought I saw earlier had been true. I flipped my hand back and forth multiple times, noticing that it was weightless, floating effortlessly in the air. It was completely lucid, almost as if it were made of fog. Was I a ghost now watching myself die as I slipped away from this cruel and unusual world?

I dropped my hand and turned my attention back to my physical self. I couldn't stand to look at my face, afraid of what I would see there, so I started with my upper body. My arm and ribs were wrapped in clean, white gauze and medical tape.

And then I remembered.

_I heard the tires screeching violently as the brakes locked up in an attempt to stop whatever vehicle was obviously coming towards me. I turned at the waist to look over my shoulder just as the front end of the truck smashed into my body. I could feel the metal buckling around my shoulder and torso as I tried desperately to hold my stance and stop the truck. The smell of diesel fuel filled my nostrils as the deafening sound of my bones snapping filled the quiet humid air._

My thoughts cleared and I continued to assess my injuries. My leg was wrapped in the same gauze, but it wasn't the same crisp white color. It was stained with random red splotches of blood.

I recalled what had happened.

_My body was flung into the air from the force of the truck and I felt like I was floating. It was almost a peaceful feeling until I felt a piece of mangled metal from the bumper of the semi rip it's way through the soft flesh of my leg. The resulting wound spewed a crimson geyser as my body hit the ground._

I slowly brought my gaze over the rest of my body and up to my face. I had scrapes, cuts and bruises covering every inch of what once was smooth tissue. My face was no different from the rest, covered in small rips of skin and there was a bandage wrapped around my head like a headband.

The events came to me so clearly this time, it was like watching a flat screen TV.

_I felt the side of my head smack against the pavement as my body hit the ground. I was unbelievably dizzy and nauseous as I turned my head slightly to look up. I could feel the warm wetness of blood pooling around me as I laid there, unable to move. I wanted to laugh as I felt the viscous liquid ooze from my cheek because it tickled as it ran down the side of my face. I could feel the small rocks embedded beneath my skin covering my body like sandpaper._

More than anything, I wanted to cry as I took in the full extent of the damage to myself. My eyes were sunken in with dark purple circles beneath them, my complexion was chalky and pale, and my lips were chapped and cracked. My entire body was covered in a sweaty sheen, no doubt from my internal organs working double overtime to heal me.

Just as I begun to hyperventilate and was about to have a complete mental breakdown, I felt a large strong hand touch my shoulder. I flipped around quickly to see who it was and the tears instantly started streaming down my cheeks as I was graced by my father's beautifully wise face.

"D-D-Da . . . Dad?" I stuttered as I threw my arms around his waist and hugged him with everything I had.

He caressed my back and held my head to his chest as he replied, "Yeah, baby girl. It's me."

I sobbed uncontrollably as I clung to him tighter.

"You have to go back, Leah. It's not your time," he whispered softly into my hair.

"No!" I shouted. "I don't want to go back. I want to go with you!" I cried as I picked up my head to look at him.

He reached his hands around my face to cup my cheeks as he wiped my tears away with his thumbs. He shook his head with a soft smile and looked into my eyes. "My same old Leah. Always so stubborn." I grimaced as I waited for him to continue. "You have a lot of life left to live, baby girl. Look at that man over there," he stated as he turned his head, acknowledging Jacob. I turned to look at him and smiled. "He loves you unconditionally, Lee, and I know you love him too. You need to give this a chance. Take things slow if you must, but give it a chance. You deserve to be happy," he assured me as he stepped back out of my grasp.

I desperately clutched at the air as he began to seemingly float away from me.

"Dad! No! Don't go!" I pleaded as his image begun to fade.

"I love you, Leah. Always remember th_—_"

I felt my lungs fill with air as I snapped back into my body and was instantaneously flooded by excruciating pain. My eyes fluttered open as tears begun spilling down my cheeks.

"What the fuck?" I spat angrily as the repulsive smell of vampire hit me right in the face. I growled as I turned to get out of bed but I wasn't fast enough. Jacob already had his hand wrapped around my forearm, with Seth and Carlisle right behind him.

"Shit," I mumbled as I slowly eased my aching body back down onto the bed.

"Stay still, Leah. I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you," Jacob said soothingly in a voice that cracked in all the wrong places. It was the voice I needed to hear just to feel alive.

"Jake," I breathed, trying to force the pain away. "I. Have. To. Tell you something."

"I already know," he replied with a small smile on his face. I closed my eyes and took in a few breaths, weakly squeezing Jacob's hand around mine. Words weren't necessary. The way he looked at me said it all.


	26. Chapter 26: Easy Is The Way

The moment Leah had awoken was perhaps one of the happiest moments in my life. She had been so close to letting go, I almost couldn't stand it. If she had died, I would have wanted to die too. It may have taken some effort on my part, but if all else failed, I would have provoked Edward to take my life. I didn't see how this was anyone else's fault but my own.

I hadn't slept in nearly three days. I couldn't fathom not catching even a single change in Leah's condition, and because of that I was constantly awake, by her side at every moment, begging her to keep fighting. It turned out she was listening.

Carlisle had given her a sedative to ease the pain and allow her to get some much needed rest, so I was all by myself while I watched her sleep.

Seth was somewhere in another room snoring; I hadn't seen him in over twelve hours, but I didn't blame him for bailing on me. The kid needed sleep. He was trying to be strong for his sister and stay awake to keep me company, but by the second night, Alice had to carry him off to bed.

It was dead silent in the spacious white house on this particular night, which concerned me. Were the Cullens out hunting? What if something happened and Leah needed attention that I couldn't provide? _I really worry too much._

There was a faint knock at the door only half a second later. "Jacob," I heard Bella's voice call from the hallway.

I turned my head toward the sound, hoping she wouldn't expect a response and just let herself in.

When she didn't make any effort, I quickly became frustrated, and mumbled "Come in," attempting to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb Leah.

She cracked the door and stepped inside, shutting it gently behind her. "Sorry," she whispered. "I came by...I didn't know if you were still here."

I smiled nonchalantly. "I wouldn't leave her by herself, Bella."

"Yeah, I guess that's sort of obvious. You look like you haven't slept in a week" She smiled back, taking a chair from the far corner and sitting it beside me. "But I'm glad you're okay. I mean you seem...better than the last time we...talked"

I nodded coolly, staring at Leah as I watched her breathing. "What's the date," I asked, changing the subject. "For the...wedding, I mean." I tried as hard as I could not to let her know the thought still irked me.

"A week," she stated proudly, smiling. "Only seven more...days."

My eyes glazed over with tears, but I blinked rapidly, hoping they would dissolve away. "Congrat...ulations." I didn't even have the strength to look at her.

She sighed. "I know you think that we can't...be friends when I'm like...them," she sighed. "But I'm not going to give up on our friendship, Jake. You're a part of me that I...that I don't want to lose."

"You'll have other parts," I mumbled, grimacing. "I won't be able to stand looking at you when your a...vam...pire."

"I'll still be Bella, Jake, just less fragile."

I shrugged off a chill as it ran down my spine. "Please leave," I said quietly, not wanting to take my already morbit thoughts to new heights.

She stood up and looked down at me, her gaze penetratingly uncomfortable. Finally, she moved, bending over and planting a small kiss on my cheek before crossing the room to the exit. I looked up at Leah who was still sleeping soundly on her back. Bella cracked the door and an atrocious smell of vampire engulfed all my senses.

I turned back to see Edward and Carlisle lingering in the doorway. Bella was looking rather pleased that they were back and I rolled my eyes at the notion. "Where the hell have you been?" I growled at Carlisle as I begun to get up from my chair.

"Take it easy, Jacob," Carlisle advised, his hand in front of him in an attempt to calm me. "We just went out for a quick hunting trip."

I scoffed. "Do you have any idea what might have happened if you weren't here?" My face was flooded with excessive heat.

"But nothing happened," Carlisle assured me. "Leah is fine and we were close enough anyway for Edward to hear your thoughts if anything were to have happened."

"Oh, I see," I said angrily, a hint of laughter in my tone. "The mind reading vampire can just hear my thoughts and that automatically makes everything okay for _Leah_." I pointed my finger back to Leah's body.

Edward smiled. "You're making a big deal out of nothing." No doubt he was listening to every other word I wouldn't say to Carlisle only because I was forever in his debt for what he had even done for me.

"Don't tell me what I'm—"

"Stop!" Bella exclaimed. "It's been a whole month and you two are still at each other's throats like nothing ever happened." She took a deep breath. None of us said anything. "This is about Leah. Jake, if you just...set aside your dislike for...Edward, I think you'll find that things will run a lot smoother when we just get along and act like...humans instead of animals!"

I scowled. "What a great way to take up for your boyf—" I looked down at her left hand on Edward's granite arm. "Fiance!" I spat out.

"Jacob," Leah helplessly moaned. I turned around quickly, seeing her writhing in pain.

"Leah," I answered as I retreated to her side, my hand gently holding her unbroken shoulder down to the bed.

"What are you two arguing about?" she asked breathlessly.

"Nothing. Just relax."

She stared straight into my eyes. It felt like she was trying to see deep into my soul, and for a moment, everything was perfect.

"I'll leave you two to talk," Carlisle announced, leaving the room as Edward followed him out.

I looked back and saw Bella smile before she retreated to Edward's side and closed the door. I grabbed the chair from behind me and scooted it as close as I could get it to the bedside. Taking Leah's hand in mine, I grazed her knuckles with my fingers.

"Are you okay? Are you in any...pain?" I questioned.

She smiled feebly. "It's not as bad."

"Carlisle says you're healing, but it's much slower than the rest of...us."

"Tell me something I don't know," she mumbled, almost laughing.

"I'm just glad you're okay. You put up one hell of a fight with that semi," I joked.

"Jacob, I'm...sorry," she whispered, clenching my hand tightly with all her strength.

I shook my head, squeezing her fingers with mine. "Don't be. This wasn't your fault."

"I'm sorry for stealing your..for smacking you." A tear trailed down her face, unbiased to the multiple scrapes and bruises that had begun to fade.

"I forgive you," I told her, wiping her cheek with my thumb. "I'm not mad. I never was."

"How can you say that? How can you tell me that you're not mad after all the terrible things I've done to you?"

"Because—and I should of told you this earlier—I love you, Leah."

Her eyes drifted upward and locked on mine. I bit my lip, trying to fight off the urge to take her face between my hands and kiss her.

"You...love me?" she asked doubtfully.

I brought her hand to my lips and gently placed a kiss on the bridge of her knuckles. She didn't pull away, she laid there staring at me. I swallowed hard and let her arm rest by her side. I hung my head, afraid of what she might say, counting the tiles on the floor until she did.

"I..." she choked. "Kind of...Jacob." When I looked up, tears had overtaken her face in various downward streams.

"No, Leah, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry. Please don't..." She took her hand and touched my neck. Her thumb grazed over my jawline and I was completely frozen as she touched me. "Will you lay here with me?" she murmured quietly.

I was about to protest when she slid over, leaving an enormous amount of space for me to sleep in. I crawled as gently as I could into the bed, careful not to move to her too much, although she seemed fine. As slow as I could, I lowered myself down beside her, leaning back against the pillow her head had been on moments before. I took a few deep breaths, staring up at the staccato ceiling. My eyes were getting heavier as my body relaxed against the clean white sheets. My hands locked together on my stomach when I felt Leah's hand rake over my arm. I turned my palm up and she placed her hand in mine. I intertwined my fingers in hers and grasped them tightly.

As the room around me fell into darkness, Leah's steady pulse was beating lightly against my skin.


	27. Chapter 27: Walking Back Into My Life

I was awakened in the middle of the night by a dull aching in my ribs. I sucked in a sharp breath as Carlisle came in the room to change my morphine drip. Edward must have tipped him off that I was awake and in pain. I smiled appreciatively up at him as he silently changed the bag and exited the room.

I flipped my head over on the pillow to look at Jacob. His hand was still holding mine, his head turned to face me as he snored softly, his skin glowing in the dim light of the moon coming through an open window. I sighed as a smile spread across my face.

_How the hell did I get lucky enough to have him beside me? _I thought as I closed my eyes and drifted back into unconsciousness.

* * *

I slowly fluttered my eyes open and instantly noticed that my hand was empty. I furrowed my brow as I realized that Jacob was no longer in bed with me.

_Where did he go? _I asked before groaning as I forced myself to sit up. I pushed my back against the headboard to support my weight as I glanced around the room. Every cell in my body was throbbing in pain, but it was manageable. I was just happy that I could move at all.

Just as I was about to call out for him, Carlisle stepped into the room.

"Good morning, Leah," he said with a smile as he made his way to the bedside.

"Morning, Carlisle." I smiled curtly, trying not to show my unease.

"How are you feeling today? Obviously better since you've managed to sit up on your own," he stated as he checked my IV and bandages.

"I feel great, actually," I lied. "Any chance I can get out of this bed?" I really needed to find Jacob and get the fuck out of this house as soon as possible. The stench alone was killing me.

He contemplated my question before reluctantly replying. "You can try, but you must take it slow, Leah. Your body has suffered—"

"Yeah, yeah." I waved him off as I threw my legs over the side of the bed with a huff. "I know. Take it slow. I got this." I smiled a little more politely as I held out my arm to him. "Mind getting this thing out of me?"

He sighed as he painlessly removed my IV and held his hand out to help me up. I ignored him, putting the hand of my uninjured arm on the mattress and pushed myself into a standing position. I felt like my head was filled with helium, but I tried to shake off the feeling to no avail. I wobbled a bit, searching to find my legs and take that important first step. The pain that shot through my right leg as I applied a moderate amount of pressure was nearly unbearable, but I sucked it up and took it anyway. I almost fell over as my leg begun to give way beneath my weight but I managed to catch myself on the side table before pulling a Bella and face planting like a clumsy idiot on the hardwood floor.

I could see Carlisle out of my peripheral vision and he looked torn as to whether or not I wanted his help.

"I'm alright, Carlisle." I assured him as I held a hand out to calm his fear. I stood to my full height, keeping my hand on the table and turned to face him.

"Esme has breakfast cooking downstairs if you think you can manage that far," he said with a tentative smile before making his way to the door and opening it for me.

I was instantly hit with the smell of eggs, bacon, pancakes, and muffins. My stomach growled in response. How long had it been since my last meal?

"I think I can manage." _I hope I can manage, _I thought as I slowly started towards the door. I kept my hand against the wall to steady myself as I obviously favored my right leg.

"Are Jacob and Seth downstairs?" I questioned through my clenched jaw, trying not to sound too eager to see Jacob or give away how much pain I was actually in.

He nodded as he walked beside me. "Of course. They haven't left the entire time you've been here."

I grinned in response as my body filled with an unexplained emotion that I had never felt before. I was realizing that I _did_ have people in my life who truly cared about what happened to me.

I was getting more and more frustrated with every move I made. The pain increased dramatically the further I walked, but I wasn't giving up just yet. At this rate I'd never make it to the kitchen, but damn it if I wasn't going to try. My body was just not responding the way my mind was telling it to.

I finally reached the top of the steps and paused. The flight of stairs ahead of me was quite intimidating in my current physical state. It seemed to be staring me straight in the face, mocking me, telling me that I couldn't do it. I wouldn't let a set of stairs beat me after surviving being hit by a fucking semi transfer truck. I took a deep breath, grabbed hold of the railing and started my descent.

I bit back a groan with every decent to each individual step. I knew if I showed too much discomfort, Carlisle would just pick my stubborn ass up and take me back to that bed. I was _not_ having that. All I could do was hope Edward either wasn't around or that he wouldn't rat me out.

I finally made it to the bottom of the stairs after what felt like hours of agony. The gash on my leg was throbbing uncontrollably, but I couldn't let that stop me. I was so close now that I could smell Jacob's sweet scent and that's all the incentive I needed to continue. I glanced up at Carlisle who's face was engraved with concern as I made my way through the living room.

"I'm alright. Relax," I muttered with a small laugh as the _Hannah Montana_ theme song filled my ears.

_What the fuck? Vampires like the Disney channel? _I glanced around the living room and spotted Seth's sleeping form on the couch. I smiled tenderly as his chest ascended and fell in time with his loud snores.

I took a deep breath and continued over the threshold and into the kitchen. I turned to face the dining room table and instantly relaxed at the sight of him. Jacob was frozen, his fork halfway to his wide open mouth as he stared up at me in shock. I laughed as I wobbled to his side, gently placed my finger below his chin and closed his mouth.

"Drooling is not attractive, Jacob," I explained. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips as I grabbed a plate, filled it up with food and sat beside him. I smiled softly as the pain eased.

"Wha...h-how?" he stammered as I nonchalantly put a forkful of my breakfast into my mouth. I turned to look at him and smirked.

"You worry too much. I'm fine. Now eat your breakfast dummy!" I scolded before turning back to my plate.


	28. Chapter 28: The Only Thing Sure

I ate my breakfast in a hurry, focused on Leah the entire time. It didn't seem to bother her as much that I couldn't take my eyes away from her fresh face. The cuts were barely visible anymore and the bruises were blended in light shades of yellowing brown on her cheeks and forehead. She looked happier today, but I knew it was only what I saw on the outside. Her eyes told me a different story.

"I can't believe you're already up and moving around," I said politely as I finished off the last of my orange juice.

She rolled her eyes, unamused by my comment. "Just because I'm a girl, it doesn't mean I can't play hard like the boys."

"I didn't mean it like that, Leah," I mumbled, looking away in frustration. I thought she would have been a little more understanding about my feelings toward her after everything that had happened. Apparently nothing had changed, or at least that's what it felt like from the way she was coming off this morning.

"I'm fine, Jacob," she urged, anger rising in her voice. "I just want to get the hell out of this house."

I raised my brow. Her statement had said it all. "I don't like it here anymore than you do, but you can't say you're okay when I can clearly see you're lying to me."

"Are you calling me a liar, Jacob Black?" she asked, evidently feeling insulted.

"Leah, you know that's not what I meant." I slammed my fist down on the table. "Stop being such a damn drama queen with every little thing I say."

She pushed her chair back, making an awful scraping noise across the kitchen floor. Carlisle's wife, Esme walked past the table looking back over her shoulder, but didn't say anything. She was one of the smarter vampires who knew when to keep her trap closed.

"You should have just let me die." She stood, staggering to a nearby wall for support. I quickly retaliated and was by her side no more than two seconds later. She shoved me away when I tried to steady her. "Go away. I don't want your help. You're stupid," she yelled, limping into the living room.

I gently placed my hand around her forearm. "Stop, Leah. You're hurting your body by straining it like this. I know you're not as strong as you're making yourself out to be right now."

She jerked her arm away, but I wasn't letting go. I brought her close to my body. Her breasts were resting against my chest and her mending arm was pushed into my stomach. I didn't mind the pressure. She had that same permanent scowl on her face like she always did, but something new was there as well. I saw for the first time, a glow I hadn't noticed about her before. It was apparent in her eyes just the way she stared begging for me to release her, but at the same time not wanting me to let go. Maybe I was just being cocky, but even if Leah hadn't said it, I had a gut feeling she felt more for me than what she was willing to argue.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, letting go of her arm so she could move away from me. She stumbled back drunkenly, but I caught her waist before she fell. Her face turned away from mine, trying to hide the embarrassment I knew would be there, but her free hand gripped my bicep in support.

"Don't be," she muttered, tightening her grasp around my firm muscle.

I gazed at her for a while realizing she had been waiting for me to make the next move. I lowered my head and brushed her fine black hair away from her face with the tip of my nose before my warm lips parted and found their place on her cheek. I held my mouth in the same position for at least three seconds before I pulled away, willing to take whatever consequence would come as a result for my outlandish behavior.

She slowly turned her head to look at me. I wasn't sure of her emotions, but I knew my heart was climbing into my throat with every passing second she didn't say anything. I feared her rejection, and even worse, I was afraid of hurting her in any way.

"Why do you keep doing that?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"Doing what?" I questioned, uncertain of what she meant.

"Kissing me. Making me_—__trying_ to make me fall for you." She was trembling now, just like her voice. She acted like I was forcing her to want me.

"I'm not trying to subdue you, Leah," I told her firmly.

"I realize I'm the _only_ girl in La Push," she remarked sarcastically. "But we are _not_ having sex, no matter...no matter how much I want to." She scoffed and pulled a sour face, taking her hand away from my upper arm.

"Leah! My God. I'm not trying to..._fuck_ you!" I took a deep breath. That seemed to calm my nerves slightly, but it wasn't what I really needed.

"Then what are you trying to do?" she demanded, confusion in her words.

"I'm trying to make...you feel the same way I do."

"How the hell can you say you love me, Jacob Black? You don't even know me."

"Then was all of this for nothing? Where you really running away because you couldn't stand La Push, or because you wouldn't let yourself love someone who wasn't Sam?"

Just then, her eyes tore into mine like an open switchblade knife. It's like they wanted to punished the asshole who had just assumed something like that about her. She blinked, but kept her eyes closed, and when they had reopened, tears spilled down her flustered cheeks.

"How do you know me so well?" she croaked.

"I see what you're trying to hide. You think you've covered up the pain he's caused you so well you don't even realize everyone else already knows." I paused, trying to find a reaction in her expression, but she was so difficult to read, it would have taken Edward to guess what she was thinking. "I want to change the way you see me. I don't want to be just Jacob to you anymore. I want to be _your_ Jacob."

Her hand found it's way back to my arm as I held her body unwavering between my hands on her hips. She took in a deep breath and I noticed that Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Rosalie, and a sleepy eyed Seth were all watching us in different areas of the formidable space.

"Jacob, I c-can't..."

One hand left her side as I placed a finger to her lips. "You don't have to say anything. Just promise me that you'll at least try this...with me." One finger turned into four brushing lightly across the line of her cheekbone and cradling her neck just under and behind her ear. I smoothed my thumb across her beautiful face, wiping away the tears that still fell there.

She cracked an uneven smile. "Okay," she agreed, nodding shortly. "But we do this at my speed."

"As slow as you want it to go. I just want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can."

Her brows furrowed. "Are you planning on..._dying_ soon or something?" she implicated.

"Last week I thought you were going to die. Now you're standing here face to face with me. I don't want to think I wasted my time beating around a bush I could have just chopped down and took what I wanted."

"What are you saying that you want?" she inquired inquisitively.

I looked behind her to see Seth, his hands dug into the back of the couch and his bottom lip overtaken by his top teeth. I shot my glance back to Leah who hadn't taken her eyes off me for a single second since the last time she had looked away.

"You really want to know?"

"That's why I'm asking," she retorted, annoyed.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No," she said blankly.

"All I want is you."


	29. Chapter 29: An Attempt At Brand New

I stared up at him blankly, trying to comprehend what he had just said. "Me? Just...me? Nothing else?" I asked as I shook my head in disbelief.

He chuckled before responding, "Yes, Leah. Just you."

I sighed and glanced down shyly. "Well, I guess you can have me," I whispered before turning my gaze back up to Jacob's face. "But so help me God, if you hurt me, I'll kill you." My voice was threatening, but smooth enough to let Jacob know I was probably only kidding.

A smirk graced his face as he held up three fingers on his right hand. "Scouts honor. I won't hurt you."

I smiled and laughed lightly as I reached my arm around his neck and pulled him into a gentle hug. I kissed his cheek quickly before whispering in his ear, "Thank you...for everything."

Just then, Seth cleared his throat and I suddenly realized that we weren't alone. I jumped back, stumbling into the wall, but steadied myself before I fell. I was completely embarrassed that others had witnessed such an intimate moment between Jacob and I. If word got around I was changing into a _better_ person, everyone would just assume they would be able to walk all over me.

I changed the subject. "Hey Seth!" I said as I straightened my posture and turned to face him.

I'd never seen him smile the way he did at that moment. I literally thought his cheeks were going to split open. I rolled my eyes when he didn't reply and turned back to Jacob.

"Can we talk upstairs?" I muttered under my breath to him. This was not the place for this type of conversation.

"Sure, sure," he stated in his usual tone. He looked down at me, wickedness in his brown eyes as his lips turned into an evil smirk. Before I had a chance to ask what his expression was all about, he put one arm behind my back, the other behind my knees, and a second later he was carrying me towards the stairs. I was completely flabbergasted for a moment as I processed what had just happened. The sound of Seth's bellowing laugh brought me out of my reverie.

"PUT ME DOWN YOU BIG OGRE!" I screamed, pounding against his chest with my good arm as he ascended the stairs with ease. He didn't even flinch. It was like I weighed nothing. The only reason I knew he had even noticed me was because his smirk had turned into a full blown shit-eating grin.

_I'm gonna kill him!_

I glared at him as he silently entered the room I had slept in before kicking the door closed behind us. He quietly walked over to the bed and gently put me down into the soft sheets. I crossed my arm over my chest as he sat in the chair beside the bed and folded his hands in his lap.

_Good boy, _I said to myself amused._ I would have mauled your dumb ass if you had climbed into this bed._

I glared at him with his cocky posture, waiting for him to speak. He leaned back against the chair and smiled smugly, acting as if he hadn't done anything wrong.

_Mother fucker. I just wanna smack that smirk right off his beautifully arrogant face!_

I slumped back against the headboard and sighed.

"I hate you," I stated simply.

He chuckled before responding, "No you don't."

I scowled because I knew he was right. I loved him, but I wasn't about to admit it just yet.

"Shut up," I spat childishly.

He pretended to zip his lips, lock them and throw the key over his shoulder. I couldn't help but laugh at the infantile action.

"Take me home? Please?" I practically begged. There was no way I'd ever fully recover in this house. The stench was too strong and it was putting me under constant physical and emotional stress. I needed to relax and allow my body to work its magic.

He smiled softly and retrieved the now strapless bag I had packed from underneath the bed. He gently laid it at my feet and exited the room. I assumed he was going to speak to Carlisle about getting me the hell out of here.

I slid to the edge of the bed and grabbed a fresh pair of gym shorts and underwear from the backpack. I stood and dropped the bottoms I was wearing before haphazardly pulling my clean underwear and shorts on. I sat back on the edge of the bed, picked up my dirty clothes from the floor and threw them in the garbage. Not only were they covered in dirt and blood, but they reeked of vampire and they weren't worth saving. I sighed as I looked down at my bandaged arm, trying to decide how the hell I was going to change my shirt with this thing on.

_Thi__s__ is going to hurt like a bitch, _I thought as I gingerly placed my fingers underneath the bandages and begun tearing them off. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip as the pain shot through my entire arm and up my neck with every tug of the fabric. I managed to get the whole thing off without so much as a peep, but my lip was definitely bleeding. I ran my tongue over my mouth as I threw the bandages in the garbage. I started rummaging through my bag until I found a clean bra and a tank top. I don't know where the bra I was wearing during the accident had gone, but I wasn't wearing one now and that made me extremely uncomfortable.

I left my injured arm resting against my thigh for support as I snaked my other through my shirt and pushed it over my head. It slowly slid down my right shoulder and fell in a wrinkled cluster at the fold of my arm. I cupped my right elbow with my left hand and carefully lifted my arm off my leg. The pain wasn't as bad until I let go of my elbow to pull the shirt away. I clenched my jaw, gritted my teeth and shut my eyes tight as I quickly pulled the shirt off and set my arm back down onto the support it so desperately needed.

I took a deep breath as I waited for the pain to dissipate. When it became bearable, I grabbed my bra and quickly slid it over my right arm and onto my shoulder. I pulled the other strap up on my left side and quickly adjusted the cups so they were sitting in place. The pain that tore through my entire right half as I picked up my arm and put it behind my back was torturous. I bit back a scream as I grabbed the band and tried to hook it to the other side. My entire body was shaking as I pushed my arm further but I just couldn't reach. As I tried one last time to hook my bra I heard the door open. I instantly let go and threw my good arm over my chest.

"What the fuck?" I asked as I looked back to see Jacob stepping inside the room. I grabbed my shirt and draped it over my chest, clutching it with all my might just as he looked over at me.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I thought you'd be dressed already," he stated simply as he walked behind me to the other side of the bed.

_Well that certainly wasn't the reaction I was expecting, _I thought as he ever so gently crawled across the bed and knelt behind me.

_What the fuck is he doing? _I wondered as I felt his strong hands grab the two separate ends of my bra strap and gently hooked them together before he ran his fingertips down the bare skin of my back.

I closed my eyes when the tips of his fingers brushed my cheek as he reached around to pull my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. I tilted my head towards him instinctively as he slowly lowered his warm lips down to the spot where my neck met my shoulder. I stopped breathing and my body shivered on its own accord. I instinctively tilted my head away from him. He reached his hand around my body to grab my shirt, slowly pulling his lips away from my skin. I opened my eyes slightly and turned my chin towards my shoulder to look back at him as he pulled my shirt away from my chest and out of my hand.

He climbed off the bed and stood in front of me. I was completely confused by the look on his face. It was unreadable to me, a look I had never seen before in my entire life. He moved his massive hand down to lift my chin and place a gentle kiss on my forehead before tenderly cradling my right arm and slowly pulling it into the shirt. He was just as gentle as he pulled the rest of my shirt on me and down my body.

He leaned over to zip the backpack up before throwing it over his shoulder and holding his hand out to me. I bit my lip and tentatively placed my hand in his, using him for support as I stood. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. I cradled my right arm while we walked towards the door.

"Are we going back to La Push?" I asked hopefully. He opened the door and lead me through first, his hand on the small of my back before returning to my side. He gripped me a little tighter as we started to descend the stairs.

"Yeah. Carlisle agreed that you were healthy enough to go home and that you'd probably heal more quickly in an environment that's more comfortable for you anyway," Jacob explained. He was matching my pace, taking each step as slow as I needed until we finally reached the foyer.

"Thank you," I mumbled as Seth opened the front door for us.

I stepped out onto the front porch where Alice was waiting in Carlisle's Mercedes.

I groaned and looked up at Jacob. "Can't we just walk? Please?" I whined.

He chuckled as he pressed lightly against the small of my back, urging me forward. "We're not walking. You can handle ten minutes in a car with her."

"Fine," I grumbled as I slid in the back seat. Jacob sat beside me and Seth eagerly hopped in the front.

This was the one and only time I was thankful for Seth's friendship with the Cullens. He kept Alice talking about something or another the entire time so she never bothered me. I stifled a yawn and leaned my head against Jacob's shoulder as we drove.

When we pulled up to my house, I all too eagerly flung the door open and struggled to get out of the car. Jacob laughed lightly as he got out the other side and came around to help me. I reluctantly took his hand and thanked him as I finally stood and headed towards the house. I gave Alice a small wave as I passed and made my way up to the porch. Seth was already there, holding the door open for me like the gentleman he was. I kissed his cheek in a sister to brother fashion, walking inside and I swear I saw him blush. Thankfully he chose not to acknowledge the action.

Jacob was right behind me as I crossed the living room and sat on the couch. Seth followed, running up to his room, presumably to play video games.

"Can I get you anything? Water? Food?" Jacob asked as he looked down at me worriedly.

I smiled softly and pointed at the TV. "You can put a movie in for us to watch. Other than that, I'm fine." 

"Alright. Whatever you want," he stated as he made his way over to the DVD tower. He pulled out the sappiest flick we had and placed it in the DVD player. Grabbing the remote, he sat beside me on the couch, hitting play before setting the remote on the coffee table in front of us. He clutched me by the waist and laid me down with him.

I smiled at the contact and I didn't resist. The feeling of my back against his chest, my head on his bicep, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, holding me to him. He took all the pain away and it gave me hope for what could be. I could feel him rest his head against mine, nuzzling me softly as my eyelids became heavy and I knew I was going to fall asleep at any moment.

Just when I finally allowed my self to relax completely and get a little bit of rest, the front door slammed open and Sam barged in.


	30. Chapter 30: Crowns & Corncobs

It was the perfect afternoon. Leah and I were finally starting to open up to each other. She was allowing me to flirt with her at last, even if she didn't want to take it past that. I could have laid on that couch with her in my arms for weeks and not moved an inch. It was all too good to be true because the second I let my guard down, Sam fucking Uley burst through the front door, uninvited.

Leah jumped and I held her back for fear she would fall off the couch and onto the floor. I immediately turned my attention toward the entrance to see a half-naked Sam standing in the way. My mouth dropped, but neither Leah nor I said anything.

"It looks like my predictions came true," Sam snorted, a false sense of happiness in his tone. "You're fucking screwing her aren't you?"

I closed my eyes for a moment and shook my head, pressing my nose into the back of Leah's neck. "Haven't you heard of knocking?" I growled before glancing back at him.

"I can't believe you gave permission for that _thing_ to trespass on our land," Sam snarled. "After I had stopped her and asked what the fuck she was doing, she gave me this colorful story about how Leah had ran away and almost gotten herself killed by a Mac truck."

My temper flared. I moved around Leah, allowing her to rest against the cushions where I had been supporting her with my body. She grabbed my arm to stop me as I stood up. "Please, Jake," she muttered. "He's so not worth it."

"I'm just going to get rid of him. No funny business. I promise." I smiled at her and with a trusting nod, she slid her hand down my arm and released me.

I approached Sam whose form was steady as the house we were in. I knew two Alphas in the same place would be a bad idea, but two in the same room was tense. There were no words for the amount of animosity between us. Why did we have to compete constantly for something that was rightfully mine in the first place? Sam was too prideful to step down and end this war that I knew was just beginning. There would always be a battle for leadership, even though I hadn't even wanted a pack in the first place.

"I think you should leave," I suggested, motioning toward the open behind him. "You're letting all the cold air out."

"Fat chance," Sam retorted, a grin the size of Texas on his idiotic face. I no longer respected him. He had his crown shoved way too far up his ass.

"Get the fuck out of my house before I rearrange your face," Leah threatened, shaking her fist as she tried to get of the couch.

I ran to her side, gently placing a hand on her uninjured shoulder. She looked up at me as I forced her back down onto the couch. "Leah, stop. You're stressing yourself out."

She shook her head. "Jacob, I'm a grown fucking woman. I live here. If I don't want an ass wipe in my house, I'm allowed to kick him out."

I rolled my eyes. "You just _think_ you're a grown woman. Do you have any idea the condition you're in?" I was trying to be compassionate.

"It's my damn body and I think I know what I'm capable of doing. If you want to play my father, we can go there too. I'm so sick of everyone thinking I'm some helpless child who needs her ass wiped all the time."

"You could have fooled me, Leah," Sam responded from across the room.

"You're determined to ruin my life aren't you?" Leah pushed my hand off her and stood up, defiant to my suggestive orders.

Sam approached us and I stepped in front of Leah in her defense. "I only want Jacob to realized how much of his life he'll waste chasing after someone who doesn't want to be with him."

"Who the hell are you to know who I want to be with?" Leah yelled as she lunged for him, but I held her back.

"Jacob is going to imprint and when he does, your plan will have proven you a failure in this fucked system."

She pushed passed me and I had no choice but to let her stand up to him. This was her fight, not mine, at least not until it got physical. "Was that all I was to you, Sam—a failure?" She stared him dead in the face while I stood by helpless in my actions.

Sam huffed. His fists were tightly clenched. "You blame me for something I could not control."

"You broke my fucking heart, Sam! I'm not supposed to be happy that you did!" she hissed at him.

"You're making me out to be the bad guy. Sleeping with Jacob will only prove to everyone that you're the La Push skank."

"I'm not _sleeping_ with him or anyone!" she shouted, pushing one hand into Sam's chest with barely enough force to make him move backwards.

"Stop," I pleaded as I took her by the waist and pulled her toward me. "He's not worth it, remember?"

She smiled weakly, falling over onto me for support. I grasped her body to mine and looked at Sam as I took a deep breath before speaking. "Don't do this. Not here. Not now."

Leah broke away from me and went somewhere into the back of the house through the kitchen. I watched her disappear before my focus turned to back Sam, who's ugly angry face was looking for an excuse to fight me.

"I don't understand why you think it's so wrong for me to date her," I muttered in a low voice, trying to be civilized with him. "It's not like she's your property anymore."

"I never considered her _my_ property, Jacob," Sam stated simply.

I took my voice down another octave and tilted my head toward him. "Then what are you doing? I can make her happy. I can be everything she needs."

I heard a low rumbled escape from his throat. "I don't see how the most bitter, self-righteous bitch in the state of Washington all of a sudden turned into a team Jacob fan."

"I'm not worried about imprinting. If it comes, we'll fight it."

Sam snorted. "You think it's just something you can fight? You're not going to want her when that happens. Trust me, I've tried."

"Then you didn't try hard enough. If you really loved Leah, you wouldn't have left something you were forced to do take over what you had felt two seconds before you'd laid eyes on Emily."

"I really hope you never do imprint," he advised me. "Because Leah might damn well commit suicide over you."

He turned around to leave, but I heard Leah's voice coming from behind me.

"Hey, Sam," she called out.

He stopped and looked back. "I hope you get brain damage for this."

She chucked an ear of corn at his head as it whirled past me and went straight for Sam's skull. It struck him on the side of the face and fell on the floor. Little pieces of corn splattered onto the hardwood flooring, skipping over the surface and making a rattling noise before the silence fell.

"Son of a bitch!" Sam shouted, rubbing the side of his face with his palm.

"I honestly don't see how Emily can stand you," she said fearlessly. I grinned. "Now get the hell out of my house before you meet the corncob's three brothers named kick, your, and ass."


	31. Chapter 31: Why Did I Have To Say Yes?

Sam was still standing in the doorway staring at me like the fucking idiot that he obviously was.

"Are you retarded? Get the hell out of my house before I shove the next ear of corn up your ass!" I threatened as my body begun to shake. Mom was going to be beyond livid if I phased in the house and ruined her precious décor.

"Well, I was about to leave until you threw a fucking vegetable at my face!" he shouted.

I was so blinded by fury that I hadn't even noticed Jacob move, but the next thing I knew his strong arms were wrapped around my slender waist from behind. I instantly calmed down and stopped shaking. I placed my hands over his and melted back into his chest. This was where I belonged. I narrowed my eyes at Sam before turning my head to place a gentle kiss on Jacob's cheek.

"Thank you," I whispered to Jacob as I directed my attention back toward Sam. Jacob and I both had complacent smiles on our faces as Sam stared at us, shocked and frozen in the doorway. Jacob nuzzled his face in my neck, inhaling deeply as he pulled me closer to him. My eyes closed slightly as I relished in the feeling of his body flush against mine.

"What? How the hell did you do that?" Sam asked Jacob in modest confusion.

"Do what?" I asked even though his original question wasn't directed towards me.

"It should have taken a bottle of Zanax to calm you down that quickly," he claimed with a stern look on his face.

"What are you still doing here?" I snapped. I was really getting sick of his games. _Oh shit, _I thought as his face contorted into an angry scowl. _He's pissed! Well, bring it on mother fucker! I'm not scared of you._

I straightened up in Jacob's grasp. Sam was fuming. His face was beet red and his entire body was trembling. Much to my surprise, he turned his attention to Jacob, ignoring me completely.

"You realize you have nothing, right?" he questioned through clenched teeth.

"I have everything I want right here," Jacob argued as he tilted his head towards me. I smiled softly.

Sam smirked. I could tell the gears in his puny brain were turning, scheming up some sort of horrible plan to tear us apart.

"Leah. Come here. _Now_!" He demanded in his Alpha's voice pointing his finger to the floor beside him like a dog in correspondence to obey his master.

I was almost as surprised as both Jacob and Sam when the command didn't affect me in the slightest. I didn't even flinch, let alone allow the weight of Sam's voice to crush me.

"No," I stated simply as a smirk spread across my face. Jacob moved to stand beside me and I wrapped my arm around his waist, hugging him against my side.

I guess I had subconsciously chosen Jacob as my Alpha when I had decded to venture into a relationship with him.

"You're going to pick _him_ over _me_?" Sam snarled.

I laughed hysterically at the notion that I would _ever_ pick Sam over anybody. Hell, I'd take a long tortuous death before I ever chose him.

"I'll take Jacob and Seth over your pack of testosterone filled gang bangers any day," I remarked as I let my hand drop from Jacob's back and placed both hands on my hips.

Sam's mouth just hung open. I shrugged and shooed him out of the house, slamming the door closed behind him.

* * *

The next couple days were perfect. Jacob came over every morning and ate breakfast with my family before we went off together and found something fun to do for the remainder of the day.

By the time Saturday morning came along, I was expecting the same routine. I climbed out of bed and hopped in the shower. I took my time so I wouldn't seem too eager to see Jacob. I was falling harder and faster for him and I was ready to admit. I slowly descended the stairs and made my way to the kitchen.

"Hey Mom," I greeted her with a smile before sitting at one of the bar stools.

"Good morning sweetheart," she responded lovingly as she set a plate of pancakes in front of me.

"Where are Seth and Jacob?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"They left early this morning to pick up Jacob's car," she explained with a knowing smile.

I nodded softly just as Jacob and Seth came bursting through the front door. Jacob had Seth in a headlock and Seth was laughing uncontrollably as he tried relentlessly to squirm out of Jacob's grasp. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of them goofing around together.

I must have caught Jacob's attention because as soon as I laughed, his head shot up and he smiled. He let go of Seth before making his way into the kitchen. He kissed me on the forehead quickly before sitting on the stool beside me.

"How did you sleep?" he inquired as he placed his hand on the small of my back and gently ran his thumb over the hem of my shirt. I shrugged as I finished the last bite of my breakfast.

"Happy to have the Rabbit back?" I asked sheepishly, changing the subject as I fidgeted with my hands.

"Very happy," he said with a chuckle as he stood and held his hand out to me. "It's a nice day. Wanna go sit on the porch and talk?"

I stood and took his hand with a smile and we headed outside. He lazily draped his arm over my shoulders as we sat on the small porch swing my dad had built years ago. I snuck a peak at his face when he hadn't said anything. He looked nervous, anxious even as he sat staring at his car. I reached over my shoulder to hold his hand.

"Are you okay?" I asked with a small frown.

"Yeah," he said softly as he turned to face me. There was a smile on his face but I could tell it was fake.

"Talk to me," I implored as I begun rocking the swing.

"You know tomorrow is Bella's wedding, right?"

I scowled. "Yeah..." I hesitantly answered. _Where the hell is he going with this? _I wondered as I ran my fingers over his knuckles.

"Well...I was kinda wondering..." He paused, indecisive for a moment before continuing. "You wanna go with me?" he asked nervously.

"Wait, wait, wait. You want _me_ to spend a formal evening with a bunch of leeches?" I asked in confusion.

"It'll only be a couple hours. I promise it won't be that bad and we can leave whenever you're ready to go." he reasoned. How could I tell him no?

"I don't have anything to wear. I can't go to a wedding in one of my ratty sundresses..."

"Hold that thought," he interrupted as he jumped off the swing and jogged over to his car. He came back with a white garment bag draped over his arm.

"I knew you wouldn't have anything to wear so I bought you a dress," he stated proudly as he handed the bag to me.

"You bought me a dress?" I questioned as I gently folded the bag onto my lap.

"I figured if you had a dress, you'd have no excuse to tell me no."

"I don't need an excuse to tell you no."

"I know you don't, Leah. But I'd really love it if you would go with me," he stated hopefully as he sat back down beside me.

_Is he worth being surrounded by my mortal enemy and that wretched stench for hours? _I wondered. _Yes. Yes he is._

_"_Alright. I'll go. But we're leaving when I'm ready. Go it?"

He looked as happy as a pig in shit. I smiled softly and shook my head as I stood.

"Let me go throw this in my room and we can go to the beach."

* * *

Jacob and I spent hours at the beach before finally coming back to my house just after sunset.

"I'm gonna go put some pajamas on if you want to pick out a movie or something," I suggested as I headed upstairs to my room.

I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top before going back downstairs to see Jacob sprawled out on the couch. I smiled as he opened his arms for me to lay with him. I eagerly climbed into his embrace and snuggled against his chest. We had only watched ten minutes of the movie before Jacobs breathing changed and he begun to snore.

I was awoken by my mother as she arrived home from work. She quietly closed the door behind her as she came into the house. I closed my eyes, ignoring her and trying to fall back to sleep. She grabbed a blanket out of the closet and gently laid it over Jacob and I before turning off the TV and exiting the room. I drifted back into unconsciousness, wrapped in my own personal heaven.


	32. Chapter 32: Cold Feet

I woke up pretty early, still wrapped in Jacob's arms. I could hear my mom and Seth both snoring soundly in their rooms upstairs. Gently untangling myself from Jacob's embrace, I pulled the blanket up and climbed off the couch. I sighed as I silently studied his sleeping form. He looked astonishing this morning. His face was so innocent, almost angelic as his body moved slightly with this deep, measured breaths. I leaned down and placed a tender kiss on his forehead, allowing my lips to linger there for a couple seconds before pulling away. He heaved softly but didn't wake up.

I tore myself away from my momentary happiness and headed upstairs. I walked into my bedroom and noticed the garment bag spread out on the bed.

_Shit! _I thought as I picked up rack at the top and hung it on the back of the door. I had completely forgotten about the wedding. I exhaled as I slowly begun to unzip the bag.

I had no idea what Jacob knew about woman's fashion, so I was nervous as hell to see what he had gotten me.

_It better not be slutty, pink, glittery, poofy, or have any sort of floral print or I'll kick his ass._

I opened the bag to reveal one of the most exquisite dresses I had ever seen. It was certainly the most elegant garment I had ever owned. It was a simple, lightweight, sapphire blue dress with one off the shoulder strap. The entire thing was form fitting, but not too tight. I stood back and marveled at it with one hand wrapped around my midriff and the other clutching at my heart. He really did know me too well.

I huffed as I opened the closet door and grabbed a pair of flats to wear with the dress. I gathered the necessary undergarments and a couple simple pieces of jewelry to match. I set everything out on my bed and headed to the bathroom.

I turned the shower on as hot as it would go, stripped and stepped inside. Unfortunately, being a wolf meant that no matter how hot the water was, it still wasn't hot enough. I tilted my head back and allowed the water to run through my silky hair.

Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped myself in a towel. I quickly brushed my teeth and ran a comb through my tangled hair before going back to my room. I threw on a pair of jean shorts and a t-shirt before I headed back downstairs.

Just as I had thought, Jacob was still sound asleep. I smiled lovingly as I sat beside him on the couch. I cupped his face in my hand and gently ran my thumb along his cheekbone. He turned his head into my hand slightly but didn't wake up.

"Jacob," I spoke softly, "It's time to get up. You have to go home and get ready if you want me to go to this stupid wedding with you." He groaned and slowly opened his sleepy eyes.

"Mornin'," he whispered groggily as he stretched his arms above his head.

"Morning sleepy head," I whispered back with a smile spreading across my face. "You better get your butt home. You have to get yourself and Billy ready. My mom and Seth will be at your house to pick him up at four."

"What time is it now?" he asked as he stifled a yawn.

"Eleven," I answered with a smile.

He closed his eyes and pulled the blanket up to his chin. "I've got a couple more hours to sleep."

Laughing as I stood, I pulled the blanket off of him and threw it on the floor. I towered over him, my hands on my hips. "No. You don't. Get out of my house so I can get ready." I tried to say it seriously, but I just ended up laughing through the whole thing.

"Fine," Jacob whined as he rolled off the couch and stood in front of me. He slid his arms through the openings in mine and hugged my waist. "I'll be here at four to pick you up." He kissed my forehead and made his way to the front door. "You better be ready," he called over his shoulder as he shut the front door behind him.

I rolled my eyes as I folded the blanket and placed it back in the closet. I adjusted the pillows on the couch and headed back up to the bathroom.

I spent the better part of the next two hours trying to figure out how to do my hair and makeup. I even resorted to looking through a couple of my mother's fashion magazines for ideas.

"Such a vile waste of paper,"I grumbled under my breath as I threw the magazines down on the coffee table and spread them out. "It's just a bunch of fucking sluts posing on the covers in suggestive positions."I picked one up and set it in my lap. "What the fuck? Is she wearing tissue paper? I can see her fucking nipples through that top!"I threw it across the living room, completely disgusted._ "_I thought this was Vogue not Playboy!"

I made it through every magazine we had in the house and still had no idea what to do so I played around in the mirror for a bit. Up, down, half-up, twists, curls, bobby pins, no bobby pins, jewels, clips...nothing looked right. I finally settled on leaving it down with a small side part that allowed my long bangs to drape gracefully over my face. I put on a little bit of mascara and a light coat of clear lip gloss before heading back to my room.

I put my strapless bra and matching underwear on before sliding into the dress. It fit me perfectly. I slid my bracelet over my wrist and put on a pair of sapphire earrings I had gotten for my sixteenth birthday from my grandmother. I sat on the end of my bed and slipped my shoes on just as there was a knock on my door.

"Come in."

My mother stepped through the door with tears in her eyes and a small box in her hands. I furrowed my brow in concern as she sat beside me on the bed.

"I couldn't help but sneak a peek at your dress while you were in the shower," she stated bashfully as she wiped a stray tear from her eye. She reached to hold my left hand and place the small box in it. She wrapped my fingers tightly around it before gathering my hand in both of hers and holding it to her chest.

"Your father gave this to me for our tenth wedding anniversary." She sniffled with a look of longing and happiness on her face. She must have been remembering the moment my dad had given it to her. "It matches your dress perfectly and I want you to have it."

I couldn't help the tears that sprung from my eyes as I wrapped my arm around her and hugged her with everything I had. "Thank you, Mom. You have no idea what this means to me," I said through my blubbering.

She pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes with the pads of her thumbs. She smiled and kissed my cheek before wiping her own tears as she stood. "Seth and I are going to pick up Billy. Jake should be here any minute so pull yourself together," she remarked as she stepped out of the room, laughing lightly.

I took a deep breath, turning the box over in my hands before I finally mustered up the courage to open it. The hinge creaked softly as I lifted the lid. Inside was the most spectacular sapphire necklace I've ever seen. It had a large blue sapphire heart center surrounded by small diamonds and the entire chain was made of diamonds as well. It took my breath away. I had to fight back tears as I gently removed the necklace from the box and placed it around my neck.

I heard the front door open and I knew Jacob had arrived. I quickly got off my bed, grabbed my clutch, checked my appearance in the mirror and headed down the stairs.


	33. Chapter 33: Beautiful Again

By the time I finally made it home I found my father fully dressed and ready to leave. The second I walked in the door I was surprised by the sight of the man who'd always worn ratty old jeans and a T-shirt that usually harbored some kind of stain on it. Today he was dressed in a black and white tuxedo with perfect lapels pressed and in place.

"Wow, dad," I stated when he looked at me awkwardly. "The way you're dressed, I'd say you're trying to get more than just a couple of drinks out of this wedding."

He laughed. "The way you're dressed, I would get the impression you're going to skip this entire thing without me."

"I should be so lucky," I mumbled under my breath as I headed into the hallway.

"You've got to make the best of what you have while you still have it," he called out to me just as I ducked into my bedroom.

I looked around the seemingly empty space not realizing until a second or so afterward that I hadn't even slept in my own bed since sometime last week. I'd spent every spare moment chasing after, rescuing from, and convincing Leah to love me, that I hadn't had much time in between to gather options of what to wear for this stupid wedding.

How ironic. I hoped Leah was having better luck with her outfit than the dilemma I was facing with my non-existent one. I had to spend the remainder of my sister's "emergency" money to buy her a dress because I knew not having one would be her first excuse on the list of excuses to say why couldn't accompany me. She was worth every penny I spent though, and Seth had even given me a few extra dollars to buy the one we both knew she'd like the best. I would have to thank that kid some day. He would probably make one hell of a Beta if I ever decided that a pack was what I really wanted to manage. I just didn't didn't see myself as a leader. Seth and Leah obviously felt different. We were like our own little family now. It was scary how much time we'd all been spending together, but at the same time it was refreshing to get away from all the drama back home.

"Jacob?" a female voice asked, knocking on the door softly. "Are you dressed?"

I quickly walked to the door and cracked it just a bit, peeking out slightly to view the stranger I hadn't immediately recognize by voice.

"Jake!" my sister, Rachel, screeched.

I threw back the door and took her in a giant bear hug, lifting her tiny body off the floor as I swung her around in my arms.

"Rachel!" I grunted loudly, squeezing her tighter. I was so happy she was finally back from running away to attend college. "I haven't seen you in _so_ long!"

"Jacob, put me down! You're crushing me. I'm only human you know."

I smiled and dropped her gently on both feet. She stood back and looked at me, her hands on her hips with an attitude only Rachel Black could possibly pull off. Her face was glowing and her long black hair was curled and pinned loosely in various places with diamond jeweled clips. She wore a white dress with a satin finish and a black ribbon that tied snugly around her waist in a perfect bow behind her.

"I wanted to surprise you!" she exclaimed, her cheeks about to burst from all the smiling she was doing. I couldn't believe how much she looked like our mother. I held back the sudden urge to burst into tears.

I laughed and shrugged off the ill feeling. When I looked at Rachel, I saw our mother, Sarah. This was a moment I didn't want to ruin with my sensitivity to the subject. "It looks like you succeeded, Rach."

"I got you something," she said, playfully taking me by the arm and dragging me across the hallway into a small room my dad used for storage. I saw a couple of luggage bags on the floor and a deflated air mattress rolled up beside a stack of Tupperware that had been in the closet. Did this mean she was coming home for a while? "Close your eyes." I nodded and did as she said. She opened the closet door, making a bunch of clumsy noises. I was tempted to peak, but decided it would be less fun for the both of us. She walked up to me and held whatever she was in her hands above her head in the air. "Okay. Now you can look!"

I slowly opened my eyes and glanced at Rachel holding up a 3 piece black suit, a light blue collared shirt and shiny leather shoes. My mouth almost dropped to the floor.

"Rach, how did you...know?"

"Apparently your girlfriend's mother took a peek at the dress you had bought for her this morning while she was taking a shower. Sue called Billy to gush to about it, so I figured why shouldn't you two match? I went straight to town and bought this for you. I knew you probably wouldn't have anything picked out yet, and I couldn't have you trying to squeeze into your old Sunday's best." She laughed a little, probably trying to blow off the remorse she felt when she looked at me and saw just as much of our mother as I saw in her. "Judging from how much you've grown, I'd say my predictions were correct."

"You really didn't have to do this."

"Please accept it. Just think of it as an 'I'm sorry for abandoning you and dad when you really needed me' present."

I paused, clearly at a loss for words. My two twin sisters, Rachel and Rebecca had packed up everything and moved to Seattle a couple of summer's ago. They only came back a few times in between for one Christmas and my dad's birthday last year. They hadn't even seen me since I had started transforming into a giant fucking dog. Rachel had wanted to keep her distance because everything reminded her of before a tragic accident took the life of our mother and left our dad permanently paralyzed from the waist down. It was much different without Rachel and her other half in the house, but over time I accepted their decision to flee from the problem. Rachel had used college as an excuse not to come home and Rebecca had gotten married not even a few months after leaving my dad and I behind. I probably would have ran away from the situation too if I had been older, but I'd got stuck taking care of my old man all by myself. Our little family survived on what seemed like peanuts, but I wasn't complaining. All of the events in my past had lead me to find Leah. I was finally starting to find inner peace with myself and slowly get over Bella, accepting her fate as a promise to my own.

"I don't blame you for running away," I admitted as I trailed my hand over the material on the jacket.

"You don't have to. I already blame me." She sighed, lowering the suit and folding it over her arm.

Rachel was just as stubborn as Leah. They would make great friends. Nothing I said would prevent her from arguing with me if I continued to say what even she knew wasn't true. She was such a rebellious free spirit. I admired her for that. I always had.

"Alright, so this is all your fault and I never want to see you again," I joked, hoping to put a chipmunk smile back on her frowning face.

"Shut up beanbag head," she teased, shoving the suit into my arms a setting the shoes on the floor. "There's a matching corsage in the refrigerator." She left the room and I strolled casually in the bathroom to change.

* * *

I arrived at Leah's house shortly after passing Sue and Seth on a back road. Checking myself in the rear-view mirror, I made sure nothing was out of place. Approaching the door, I took a deep breath and let myself in. The house was quiet for a moment and then I heard footsteps coming from upstairs. I waited patiently with my hands folded on top of one another in front me, anxious to see how good she looked in the dress I had imagined her wearing in my dreams.

I glanced up and saw Leah hovering at the top of the staircase. Her hand was elegantly placed on the banister. She flashed me a smile and begun to descended the stairs. Her body moved seamlessly with the deep blue fabric that hugged her every curve, and her hips balanced back and fourth with each movement. She met me at the bottom and stared up at me, a twinkle in her astonishing auspicious eyes. Her neckline was dazzled with a large sapphire heart necklace that accented her dress beautifully. I returned her smile, my eyes examining her breathtaking figure.

"You look amazing," I finally said after a few moments of drooling over her.

"Let's just get this over with," she groaned, grabbing my hand and intertwining it with hers.


	34. Chapter 34: A Moment Of Violence & Bliss

I placed my hand on the banister, a smile spreading across my face as I made my way down the stairs. Jacob stood in the doorway, his hands folded gently in front of him. He looked simply breathtaking. I couldn't help but notice that his suit matched my dress perfectly. I'd have to ask him about that later when my brain was actually functioning correctly.

I would have told him I had butterflies in my stomach, but I was so nervous, they felt more like piranhas. I finally reached the bottom of the steps where I could fully take in the immaculate man standing before me.

"You look amazing," he said as I lifted my head to meet his gaze.

"Lets just get this over with," I groaned as I took his hand and headed for the car. I couldn't handle him getting all mushy on me.

The drive wasn't long, but it made me extremely self-conscious. From the corner of my eye I caught Jacob stealing glances at me. I wished he would just tell me what he was thinking so my mind could be at rest instead of racing through all these crazy thoughts.

_Is my hair okay? Did I put too much mascara on? Is my dress situated correctly? _I coolly glanced down to make sure everything was in its right place. _Does he really like how I look or was he just saying that to be nice? Since when have I ever given a flying fuck about what I looked like? Why am I so concerned about it now? _I sighed softly. _Right, because I want to look good for him.  
_  
I closed my eyes as Jacob turned into the Cullen's driveway, trying to clear my head and just accept everything for what it was instead of constantly second guessing it. When I reopened my eyes I tried to prepare myself for the hours of agony I was about to willingly subject myself to for the man who was sitting no more than a foot away from me.

The trees lining the entire driveway were covered in white Christmas lights and obnoxious white satin bows. I think I threw up in my mouth several times as we passed the wide oaks, forcing the disgusting taste back down my throat.

Jacob pulled up to the front of the house and parked the car. He came around and opened my door for me. I smiled as I took his hand and stepped out, cringing as the stench pulverized my nostrils. I ignored the burning and took a deep breath as he lead me inside. I was instantly assaulted with the fragrance of flowers—a ton of flowers to be exact. It didn't completely cover the stench, but it helped with the burning.

* * *

I glanced around the room as we took our seats next to my mom, Billy and Seth. There were garlands of white flowers hanging from every possible surface imaginable. Each garland was draped in nasty white gossamer ribbons to pull everything together. Every chair was perfectly wrapped in white satin and the arch on the alter had the same flowers and gossamer as the rest of the room.

Edward was standing at the alter, Carlisle right beside him as Rosalie took her seat at the piano and begun playing. Alice descended the stairs wearing a shimmery silver dress and five inch silver heels. Her ebony hair was pulled into tight pin curls that surrounded her face perfectly. As she reached the bottom, Rosalie changed songs and Bella stepped into view with Charlie.

They took the stairs much slower than Alice had, Bella looking down at her feet the entire time. She was probably trying to avoid the accident that was surely imminent. I secretly hoped she would trip and fall, making her perfect white dress red. I could imagine the vampires sucking up her blood like a Baskin-Robbins milkshake.

Her hair was up in intricate braids and twists with silver hair combs that had clusters of blue sapphires on them. Her dress was satin with a row of pearl buttons down the back. I'd never admit it to anyone, but she didn't look half bad.

Edward smiled when Bella reached the bottom of the stairs and looked up at him. She blushed crimson and it made me want to hurl. This shit was just like out of a fucking movie and I could barely handle it. I laughed as Bella nearly pulled Charlie's arm off in her haste to get down the isle after she laid eyes on Edward.

Their vows were traditional and of course Bella cried like a blubbering fucking idiot. She barely whispered 'I do' and I'm pretty sure the humans in the audience couldn't hear her. It didn't go unnoticed by me that instead of the usual "til death do us part" they opted to use "as long as we both shall live." When Edward kissed her, I thought she was going to tackle him to the ground right then and there and fuck him in front of all of us. She threw her arms around him, bouquet and all and kissed him with everything she had. A couple people cleared their throats and eventually Edward pulled her away from him.

* * *

The reception was outside in the backyard. Of course Alice had timed things perfectly so when we went out to the fancy setup it was twilight across the river. The trees were covered in the same Christmas lights and the tent over the dance floor was made of the same white flowers.

Everything was completely traditional. The cutting of the cake, bouquet toss, garter toss, and all the traditional dances. The food was excellent and I really wasn't having that bad of a time until Jacob asked me to dance.

"Really?" I said in a sarcastic tone. "You expect me to dance with you in front of all these people?"

"Leah," he whined, but it was more like pleading. "Just one dance. I'm not asking you to accomplish that big of a task."

I groaned. "Fine."

I stood up and Jacob readily took my hand and led me to the dance floor. A slow song I didn't recognize begun playing and he took me by the waist. I looked up at him embarrassed, as I remembered that the one time I'd had a slow dance with someone was with Sam at our senior prom.

"Don't be nervous," Jacob whispered to me as he grabbed my arm and placed it around his shoulder. My other arm reached up reflexively and they both met at the back of his neck.

"I'm not," I lied shyly. "I just don't feel comfortable with everyone watching me."

"So no big wedding like this for us then?" he teased, causing me to frown.

"I'm not marrying you or anyone else, Jacob."

"You always did know how to ruin a perfectly good moment," Jacob murmured in my ear sensually.

At the moment I _should_ have gotten angry, I felt a tremor roll down my back. His breath on my skin made my mind wander to a place I vowed not to venture with any man ever again. I zoned out of my surroundings, letting him sway me back and forth as an image replaced all focus.

We were two people, body to body with nothing in between. The same breath he had used on me just moments ago was now in different places. The heat from his mouth was slowly tasting everything inside me and I willingly relished in his pleasure.

A voice, faint and barely audible called my name. "Leah?" I ignored it, continuing with my out of pocket daydream. Suddenly, someone shook me gently and I realized where I was. "Leah? Are you okay?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah," I urged, grimacing that he had interrupted my small fantasy. "I was distracted for a moment. Sorry." I laughed, hoping to play my emotions off as something less arousing than the feeling that was beginning to pool between my legs.

"Are you okay with Bella stealing the next dance?"

I looked at him a little hurt. He was here with me and now he wanted to dance with that fucking cunt? I shrugged, unbiased in my expression. "Sure." I let go of his shoulder and turned to walk in the opposite direction when I ran straight into Bella. Talk about an inconvenience.

"You look beautiful tonight, Leah, really." She smiled awkwardly.

"Thank you," I respond, mustering a small smile to take the place of a scowl I knew was about to hit the moment she looked away. _Stupid bitch. You don't know anything. Get your eyes checked._

"I had this song dedicated to us," I heard Bella beam to Jacob as I walked away and Jacob met her halfway to the center of the glowing dance floor. I turned back to look at Jacob and Bella as they started dancing slowly together. My heart broke just a little bit further. No matter what Jacob told me, Bella would always have his heart in the palm of her wicked little hand, ready to stomp all over it the second he got too close. I could never subject myself to that type of pain. Sam was bad enough. I couldn't imagine why Jacob would keep letting this happen even after he claimed he was over her. I could see it all in his eyes now. That goofy fucking grin that he gave while looking down at her as if he still had a chance now that she was married material. It was sort of pathetic. That didn't stop me from being compelled to steal him away from her.

I leaned back against the side of the house for support as I watched them dance to an endless song. I'm not sure how to describe what happened within the next thirty seconds. All I consciously remember was seeing Jacob's face streaming with tears as he screamed at Bella who was trying to pull away from his tight grasp around her arms. A couple of guys from the dumb asses anonymous pack grabbed Jacob's shoulders and forced him to let Bella go as Edward rushed to her side. The second she was loose from Jacob's grasp, I was right in front of her with my fist smashing into her pretty little face.

I didn't feel anything break, all I felt was someone roughly pulling me back by the waist as Bella held her eye in probable pain. When the room stopped spinning, I was outside in the Cullen's driveway pacing back and forth waiting for one of the leeches to kill me for ruining Bella's evening. I heard foot steps quickly moving toward me. I backed up against Jacob's hood searching the dark shadows for the lurker within them. My heart was pounding and I swallowed hard, afraid to move.

"Leah?" Jacob asked, stepping onto the dimly lit asphalt.

"You fucking asshole," I growled in relief.

He chuckled. "What? You thought I was Edward coming to rip your head off?"

"I'm surprised you made it out of there alive," I replied in frustration, crossing my arms.

"No one's mad at you, Leah. Okay, maybe a few people, but they're not at a level where they want to kill you just yet."

"Yeah, until Bella gives the signal."

Jacob grinned. "She's probably only going to have a black eye thanks to Seth's quick reflexes."

"Seth pulled me away from her?" I questioned in disbelief.

"You're surprised?"

"I guess I just didn't see him taking control of a situation like that."

"You should really give him more credit. The kid is going to make one hell of a Beta."

"So what, you're embracing your Alpha status now, O fearless leader?" I pretended to cower in fear with my hands held in the air like a victim begging for their life to be spared.

"Cut the jokes, Leah. I'm serious."

I grumbled. "Yeah, and I seriously have to go." I looked across an array of parked cars to see my mother and Seth heading toward my dad's old 1988 Chevy Suburban some hundred yards across the carport. I turned away from him and headed in the other direction when I felt his hand grab mine.

"I can take you home later," Jacob advised as he swung me around to face him.

I searched my mind for any reason not to stay. "No, Jacob. My mom will flip the fuck out if I come home late."

"Then you can stay at my house. I'm sure my dad is going to be out all night, so we'll have the place to ourselves."

I pulled my hand away from him. "That's a really great excuse for me _not _to go." I laughed as I left him behind.

"Leah, wait," he shouted, jogging toward me and catching my hand again. "There's just one thing I have to do before you go."

"And what is—"

His warm lips surrounded mine and my eyes immediately fluttered shut. His taste, his scent, and his hands were all over me. My senses reacted as I crushed my lips to his and my body pressed itself firmly against his abdomen with no avail. I felt his breath so hot on my mouth and I drew back a moan. Reaching, I found his neck and trailed my hands through his thick black hair. He held me tightly to him as each pull of his mouth away from mine brought tension between us. I wanted more and so I kissed him with more passion and drive than I had ever kissed anyone in my entire life. His tongue invaded my space and I so willingly accepted it as I massage his with my own. It wasn't a distasteful make out session. To me, it was beautiful, like I was living in heaven if only for a few seconds as I waited for someone to ruin it.

I felt a strange, but familiar heat in my core as my thighs squeezed together, gently brushing against his erection. He pulled back, breathing hard. "I. Love you," he cried out to me.

My heartbeat was fast and uneven. I didn't have time to think. I just said what I meant. "I love you too," I croaked as a single tear fell and landed on my chest.


	35. Chapter 35: Find A Way To Make You Stay

"Leah, wait," I called after the woman I was falling madly in love with.

I acted on impulse. I was tired of beating around the bush with Leah. All I wanted to do with my time was show her how much I loved and needed her. The last week we had spent together was no doubt wonderful, but it was killing me to resist kissing those tan, flesh lips. Instead, I ended up having to settle for less, like a cheek or her forehead. Not anymore. This was the one moment things didn't feel so out of balance.

Everyone else was preoccupied with the wedding. There would be no interruptions, or as I desperately prayed. And of course, I didn't want a repeat of the last time I had tried to kiss her, but what did I have to lose? She couldn't keep running away from me. I wanted tonight to be the night that I finally won with her. I wanted to forget about all my anger and confined frustration. Tonight had made things so much worse now that Bella had told me her sick plans to experience sex while she was still human. I blocked the disgusting imagery as I caught Leah's hand. She gasped and fell short of breath.

"There's just one thing I have to do before you go," I said as I came way too close for comfort.

Her face twisted into confusion. "And what is—" I didn't let her finish.

I cupped her face in my hand and ran it to the back of her neck where I felt soft black hair tangle in my fingers. I placed my lips gently to hers and exerted a small amount of pressure to be sure she wasn't pushing me away. I inhaled her scent, and a second later she was kissing me back. She let out a small groan and I immediately pulled her toward me, our mouths locked together in heated passion. Her body was strong and steady against my muscles, and I felt like I couldn't breath when she was touching me like this. I opened her mouth to mine and let my tongue slip inside. Just when the Leah I thought I knew was about to realize she was actually kissing me, she begun running her tongue along mine. As that happened, I felt an uncontrollable hardening swell in my pants. I tried to swallow, feeling my throat going dry, but Leah just kept her warm lips pressed to mine. I felt her legs squeezing together beneath me and she brushed my full erection. I drew back from her, hoping not to send the wrong message.

"I. Love you," I panted loudly, waiting for her wake up from ecstasy and rip me a new one for even trying to get this close.

And then, like she always did, she surprised me. "I love you too," she croaked. I could feel her pulse beating frantically at the based of her neck as I ran my thumb across her jawline.

I kissed several times across her blushing cheeks before leaning in to her ear. "Stay with me tonight," I whispered softly.

She inhaled a quick breath and nodded, biting down on her bottom lip. I pulled away and took her hand in mine, squeezing it gently. She flashed me a smile as I walked her around to the car and opened her door. She mouthed a courteous "Thank you," before slipping into the passenger seat.

Before I rounded the car, I looked up to see Edward wickedly staring down at me from the wrap-around porch. I gave him an unwelcoming grimace before thinking one last final thought I knew he would be searching through my head to find.

_You're absolutely sick if you think having sex with Bella on your honeymoon, as if you were human, __won't kill her._

I snorted and opened the driver's side door. Glancing up, I saw Edward make a painful face at me before he turned away and went back into the reception party.

I rolled my eyes. _Stupid fucking vampires. I bet my ancestors are rolling in their graves right now._

* * *

I drove slow along the main road, enjoying Leah's company even if she wasn't saying much. I managed to peek over at her a couple times, but noticed she was staring like a zombie out the window. Grabbing her hand, I laced my fingers through hers and looked over when she gripped mine tightly in her own grasp.

"Watch the road, idiot," she mumbled, shoving our locked hands in the air as if pointing toward the road.

"I'm trying, but it's so hard to do when you look like you're about to cry."

"I'm not going to cry, Jacob," she hissed, and for some reason, I didn't believe her. "I'm just thinking."

"Thinking about what?" I asked calmly.

"What I'm doing," she stated without hesitation in her voice.

"Do you think that it might be a mistake if you let go of your past and allow yourself to fall for someone who wants you so badly, it hurts?"

She licked her lips, trying to delay her answer. I knew her better than she thought I did. "Before tonight, I didn't think I could find someone who wanted me in which I could return the feeling. The way you kissed me tonight," her voice broke and I could see tears glossing over in her big brown eyes, "I thought my heart was going to burst, and now when I should be pissed at you for basically taking advantage of me, I just," and then, her tone softened into a loud whisper, "want to have my way with you."

I was driving about ten miles per hour by the time she had finished her statement. I knew exactly what she had meant by, 'have my way with you,' and it made breath that much harder thinking about what would happen when we arrived at my house. This was indeed happening so fast, but it was what I had wanted wasn't it?

* * *

The house was dark when Leah and I stepped inside, and it felt even different because my dad wasn't here. I flipped a switch on the wall closest to the door and the entire living room lit up.

"That's bright," Leah said, shielding her eyes.

I laughed. "I'm going to change out of this thing, so make yourself at home."

She chewed on her lip for a moment like she had something to say but was too afraid to spit it out. I looked at her, waiting for an answer. "Can I come with you?" she asked shyly.

I paused, not sure how to take her question. "Of course," was all I could get out.

* * *

In my bedroom, Leah sat down on the bed and watched me as I stripped off the jacket and hung it back on the original rack. I loosened the dark blue tie from around my neck and undid the knot, hanging it over the doorknob to the closet as I unbuttoned my shirt with one hand in the process. I was about halfway down the row when I turned around and saw Leah standing behind me. It took me by surprise, but she reached for the remaining buttons and undid them for me. I watched as her small hands worked themselves down and brushed back the sleeves on the light blue shirt, pushing them from my shoulders. I let the shirt fall to the floor, neglecting the fact my sister would probably complain about how wrinkled it was later.

Here I was half naked in front of Leah like I had been many times before, but not in the same sense. She stared perplexed by my body, running a shaky hand up and down my torso sultrily.

I straddled her hips gently, and she tilted her head upward, kissing me. Allowing her arms to wrap themselves around my waist, she gave soft, warm kisses to my chest. I brought one hand to her shoulder and dragged the strap of her dress down to the middle of her arm. She giggled and squirmed out of it, reaching around her backside and effortlessly unzipped her dress.

She looked up at me with a curious expression. I tastefully gazed over her breasts, peaking from underneath the loose dress and met her eyes again.

"I want you," she whispered as she rested her head on my chest.

"Are you sure this what you really want?" I questioned, combing through her scalp with the tips of my fingers.

She lifted her head and stared at me. Her eyes said so much she wouldn't say out loud. She was asking me to make love to her and I was confused as to why. Was she drunk? If she was, I couldn't tell. Had she been drugged? Carlisle had a whole house full of surprises, probably even an aphrodisiac, but why all of a sudden had this come out now? She had never wanted me before.

I tried to resist her. I didn't want to take advantage of the woman I had dared to love if she wasn't in her right mind, but as she nodded slowly, my hands were pushing her dress down only a second later.

I lavished her neck with kisses as she stepped out of her clothes and tossed them to the side. She unhooked her strapless bra next, and threw it on top of the abandoned dress. She pressed herself to me and I felt her nipples harden against my pecs. I reached for her face and lovingly pressed my mouth to hers. It was a superfluous moment of bliss I hadn't deserved. As I walked her backwards to my bed, she laid down beautifully and I came at her from above. Our lips were locked through every passionate moment before I unzipped my pants and kicked them off, along with my shoes and socks.

Our hearts raced together as we made love in the dim light of a full moon. When she moaned, I would thrust as hard as she needed me to until at last we had reached our climax, our orgasms in precise timing with each other.

Slowing my drive, I gently pulled out of her and kissed from her navel to her neck. She laughed and pushed me down on my back as she climbed on top of me and slid back down on my shaft. I breathed heavily as I was immediately thrown back into a state of sexual desire. I smiled, fully satisfied with Leah as she slowly moved up and down on my erection. This was going to be one hell of a night.


	36. Chapter 36: In A Shower, I Scream Louder

I snuggled into Jacob's chest as the sunlight poured through the open window. My eyes slowly fluttered open and watched as the rays danced across his perfectly sculpted abdomen. I smiled softly and tenderly ran my finger along his chest before quietly slipping out of bed.

_Shit! _I thought as I glanced around the room. The only piece of clothing I had with me was that stupid dress. I sighed as I ransacked Jacob's closet until I found an old T-shirt and a pair of sweats. It was probably the smallest outfit Jacob owned but I was still drowning in it. I pulled the drawstring as tight as it would go and tied it in a knot as I exited the room. I stopped in the bathroom to comb my fingers through my hair before heading to the kitchen to start breakfast. I stopped dead in my tracks and gasped silently as I entered the room. Billy was putting a carton of orange juice in the refrigerator and I gingerly stepped around him.

"Good morning, Billy," I greeted him shyly as I leaned back against the counter.

"Morning, Leah," he stated as he looked up at me and smiled knowingly.

"Are you hungry? I was going to make breakfast for Jacob, but I can fix you a plate while I'm at it," I stated, hoping he wouldn't bring up the events of last night's fiasco.

"Sure," he said simply as he wheeled himself into the living area and turned on the TV.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding as I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a container of eggs and a package of bacon. There was a knock at the door as I begun cracking the eggs into a bowl. I heard Billy open the door and let the visitor in.

"Hey, Billy. Is my sister here?" My head instantly perked up at the sound of my brother's voice.

"She's in the kitchen," Billy stated without concern as he closed the front door and wheeled himself back to the living room. I smiled as Seth walked into the kitchen and sat on the counter top.

"Hey, Seth. What are you doing here?" I asked as I laid the bacon strips in the sizzling skillet.

"You didn't come home last night," he shrugged, "Mom and I were worried."

I laughed lightly and turned to face him. "Worried about me? Where the hell did you think I had gone?"

Before Seth had an opportunity to answer, Jake walked in wearing only his boxers. His hair was a beautiful disheveled mess as he walked towards me and smiled. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me gently on the lips. If Seth couldn't smell the sex on me before, he could surely smell it now with Jacob in the room.

"Good morning, Seth," Jacob said with a smirk. I laid my head against his broad chest and turned outward to face Seth as Jacob gently pulled me into a tight embrace.

Seth instantly jumped down from the counter and side-stepped away from us. "You slept with my sister?" he asked in disapproval, a look of complete befuddlement on his face.

"Sure did," Jacob said with a chuckle. "In more ways than one."

"Jacob!" I reprimanded as I lifted my head and swatted at his chest.

"What?" he asked innocently as he put his hands up in defense and slowly started backing away from me. "I'm just being honest! It's not like he's not going to find out next time we're phased anyway."

"Oh. My. God!" Seth exclaimed, interrupting our little tiff. "Please tell me you will both keep this to yourselves. The _last_ thing I need is to see you two—" He couldn't finish his sentence. He closed his eyes and shook his head, obviously trying to clear the mental images that Jacob had ever so nicely put into his little brain. He cringed as he opened his eyes again and glared at Jacob and I.

"You see, Jacob? You're corrupting my brother," I huffed, throwing my hands into the air and turning my attention to the stove, flipping the bacon and starting the eggs.

* * *

I finished cooking breakfast and threw it on to three plates. I shoved a plate at both Seth and Jacob who were leaning against the counter talking before setting Billy's breakfast on the table and calling out to him that it was ready. Jacob and Seth looked perplexed as I stomped past them and into Jacob's room, slamming the door closed behind me.

Jacob's room looked like a tornado had ripped through it and there was no way I was going to be able to relax in that mess. I started picking his clothes up off the floor, throwing dirty ones in the hamper and hanging the clean ones in his closet. I don't know how much time had passed but all too soon, Jacob was in the room sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Seth left," he said softly.

"Great," I snapped back. I really didn't give a flying fuck anymore.

"Are you angry that I told him?" he asked with a pained expression on his face.

"Yup," I popped the P as I hung another shirt in his closet. I knew my anger was irrational and Seth was going to find out anyway but I couldn't help it.

Jacob was quiet for a moment before I felt his strong hand wrap completely around my wrist. An instant later I was flipped around and crushed against his body as he brought his lips to mine. My eyes closed tightly as I kissed him back. All the anger melted from my body. I reached my hands up to tangle them in his hair as I pulled him impossibly closer to me. His hands were everywhere, but he settled them on my hips, pushing me out of the room and against the wall in the hallway. I kissed him more urgently as he pressed his body against mine and I felt his erection swelling against my lower abdomen.

I heard Billy clear his throat as he wheeled past us. I broke the kiss and buried my face in my hands as my cheeks flooded with red. It had completely slipped my mind Billy was here and I felt so embarrassed that Jacob and I had gotten caught. He laughed boisterously, pushing me into the bathroom roughly.

"I'm going to take a nap. Open up a window in there! I don't want the whole house to get steamy!" I heard Billy call out to us. He was such a smart ass.

Jacob closed the bathroom door and his hands were on me an instant later. His lips found mine as he reached behind me to turn on the shower, never breaking the kiss. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and eagerly ripped it over my head, discarding it somewhere on the floor. I pressed my chest to his, my nipples hardening instantly as I slid my tongue into his mouth. He let out a groan as I hooked my index fingers under the elastic of his boxers and slowly pushed them down to the floor. He kicked them to the side before kneeling in front of me. He slid my pants down my body, holding the back of my knees and gently lifting my legs out of them before kissing his way back up to my lips.

I pulled him back into the shower with me as our kiss became heated and the throbbing in my core became nearly unbearable. I needed him so badly. I ran my hands up his torso and wrapped my arms around his neck, the water cascading down upon our naked bodies. His grip on my hips tightened as he hoisted me up and plastered me against the tile. His body was flush against mine and my legs instinctively wrapped themselves around his waist.

My hands flew to Jacob's back, my nails scraping down his skin as he entered me. He let out a groan that sounded like a mixture of pleasure and pain. I was thrashing about in the heat of the moment, forgetting everything but the electrifying sensations running through my veins heating me to the very core of my being. No matter how hard I tried to keep quiet, incoherent thoughts tangled with animalistic noises escaped my tender lips. Jacob's name was repeated over and over again as the tightening in my pelvis slowly ascends upon it's breaking point. Every muscle in my body convulsed as he flung us over that ledge and into a sea of ecstasy.


	37. Chapter 37: A Friendly Kick In The Nuts

It had been the most amazing two weeks of my life and I was finally at a point of total happiness. I knew each day was another opportunity to love Leah that much more, but unfortunately as my life had seemed to go from the moment I popped out of my mother's uterus, our drama-free relationship couldn't have lasted long.

As soon as I had caught wind from Charlie of Bella contracting some sort of disease while in South America on her honeymoon, I completely flipped my lid. I knew this was the start of a war I had been prepared to fight for almost two months now. I was not only going to rip Edward Cullen a new asshole, but I was also going to fuck him in it—royally.

I first and foremost had decided to let Sam in on my plan. I asked him to meet Leah, Seth, and I in the middle of an overgrown field at midnight, about 5 miles due north of the reservation. The terms were simple: everyone was to be in attendance from both packs, and we would discuss the matter like civilized beings in human form instead of like apes throwing shit at the zoo. Sam had agreed, but the moment he had stepped out from the bushes with the others in formation behind him, I already knew they had figured out my plan.

"You're an idiot, Jacob. You can't fight the Cullens all by yourself. You're going to need backup," he stated firmly as both our packs merged together for the first time since I had declared my birthright by punching Sam's ugly face and then skipping off to find 'Leah the runaway.'

"I can never get you to cooperate with me for five minutes while I figure something out, so why would I have even included you in this?" I growled as I lunged forward, but Leah's hands embraced my arm tightly. I was trying to refrain from the urge to snap Sam's cock off and feed it to him, but it was getting more difficult by the second.

"If all of you would just come back to my pack, we can take them on together like we are _supposed_ to." Sam was so stupid and conservative. The poor bastard might as well have been chasing his tail around in a circle for days trying to figure out what end he shit out of.

"No!" I shouted harshly. "You're making this into something about two packs fighting with each other over who's the better leader when this is about the Cullens breaking the fucking treaty!"

Sam shifted his eyes back and forth between Leah and I. "What do you propose we do then, jackass?"

I huffed in aggravation, but let his comment pass. What good would it actually do to tear into our only other alliance's leader? "We all know this disease from South America story is a coverup for Bella's transformation, right?"

Everyone from Sam's pack, nodded and mumbled "Yeah," and "Definitely," as they looked to their Alpha for further approval. Sam rolled him eyes and nodded shortly.

"And everyone has now come to realize that the Cullens, particularly _Edward_ Cullen, has been determined to break the treaty ever since Bella chose—" I pinched the bridge of my nose and exhaled in defeat. Leah's soft hand caressed my bare back soothingly and only then did I feel the strength to continue. "To become one of them." It was too hard for me to admit to myself that Bella was no longer human, but with Leah's comfort, I found enough courage to continue. "You all know what we have to do," I said remorsefully.

Embry and Quil pumped their fists in the air. Collin and Brady roared with excitement and pounded their chests together. Paul and Jared roughhoused with each other fueled by adrenaline. Leah, Seth, Sam, and I stood indifferently. Were we the only ones taking this seriously?

"Do we really have to do this, Jake?" Seth said with an heart-stopping pang in his eyes.

"The treaty says—"

"I don't give a damn what that thing says!" he interrupted. "They haven't done anything wrong!"

"You're not even serious right now!" I shook my head and laughed, trying to calm my anger. I bit my lip attempting to get a grip on the situation aside from wanting to shake Seth until his head was properly in place again.

"They didn't kill Bella, they just made her...well, um, new and improved!"

My face turned blistering red. Leah held onto my wrist and I tried to pull away. "Jacob if you hurt a single hair on my brother's head, it's fucking over!" Great. Leah Clearwater knew how to cock block me.

I eased the tension in my body and played a cool poker face. Sam's pack stared at me with goofy expressions. "What are you looking at? This isn't a damn drive-in movie!"

"There sure is enough drama for one," Embry teased, laughing and prodding Quil in the ribs with his elbow.

"Ow, you bitch!" Quil yelled, wrestling with his 'soul mate' until they had knocked each other to the ground. How sweet. I knew there was something fruity about those two. Quil could never go sixteen years without a bit of ass while he waited for Claire, his imprint, to grow up.

"Both of you, stop!" Sam commanded. Quil and Embry both fell silent and froze. The effects of the Alpha voice were destructive to their bodies and almost unbearably painful. It was like someone loading two thousand pounds on every inch of your body that gradually increased by the time the Alpha had completed their sentence. "Now get up and stop acting like a pair of retarded buffoons!"

I watched as Quil and Embry slowly got off the ground and stood on their two feet again. The looks on their faces shouted uncomfortable. They only gave Sam respect because he had demanded them to. The thought irked me and I shook with ire emotion.

"You have a choice," I stated as a fact.

"What!" Sam yelled furiously, his eyes bulging from their sockets.

I pushed Leah behind me. "You all have a choice. Sam...or me."

Collin, Brady, Embry, Quil, Jared, and Paul looked at each other, shaking and nodding their heads in discussion. At the same moment, Sam's fists tightened into balls of fury as he crossed into my comfort zone. I stood absolutely still before Sam thrust his chest into mine, challenging me. I backed away to avoid the confrontation, but his hand caught my neck and I was hurled into the dirt before I could respond to it. I grasped tightly onto Sam's forearm, trying to relieve the pressure from my throat.

"Sa-am. I c-c-an't b-reath," I choked, struggling for oxygen. Leah screamed in panic above us, but I couldn't see her. My focus was on Sam.

When my efforts were completely exhausted, I did the only thing I had actually learned in sex ed. I rammed my knee into Sam's crotch and felt an instant rush of cool air fill my lungs again as Sam doubled over in pain.

I sat up to catch my breath. Leah's arms were around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. "Are you okay, Jacob?" she said with concern as she raked her fingers through my frowzled hair. She drew back from her embrace and glanced over my form like she was assessing the damage for an insurance claim.

I turned to look over at Sam who was still holding his genitalia on the ground in pain. No one was gathered around to help him. Most of his pack was standing in the distance laughing their asses off.

I smirked as a comment slipped out of my mouth. "I guess you won't be having any mongrels with Emily now." Leah helped me up off the ground and I stared at Sam who looked up at me, enraged and fueled by my words.

"Just you wait until I get off of this ground, Jacob Black! I'll have Jared and Paul hold your legs open while I slowly rip off your nuts!"


	38. Chapter 38: Even I Learn From Disaster

I stood there in shock as Sam cringed on the ground like the little bitch he was.

_Did Jacob seriously just knee Sam in the nuts? _I mused as I glanced over at Jacob who seemed to be enjoying Sam's pain just as much as I was. I burst into a fit of boisterous laughter.

"What the fuck is so funny?" Sam spat through clenched teeth.

"Are you really asking me that question right now, dipshit?" I asked between giggles. "You on the ground writing in pain will always be the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Actually, that's a lie. Seeing your broken heart in tears when your precious imprint leaves you because you can't have kids is going to be ten times more hilarious than this!" I stated callously. I knew it was a low blow but I didn't give a fuck. Sam had thrown my heart in a blender and dropped the pieces into a vat of acid. He deserved a little taste of his own medicine.

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" Sam snarled through bared teeth as he hopped off the ground and lunged at me. Thank God for wolf reflexes because before he could get within ten feet of me; Paul, Jared and Jake each had a hold on him. Paul and Jared had a tight grasp on his arms and Jacob's hand was wrapped firmly around his neck. Jacob and Sam both started to blur as their shaking neared the breaking point.

"If you so much as lay one of your pathetic excuses for a finger on her, I'll personally rip your throat out, gift wrap it and deliver it to Emily." Jacobs fingers flinched slightly as he clamped down a bit tighter on Sam's windpipe. I didn't understand how Sam hadn't pissed his pants by that point. The look in Jacob's eyes alone could have killed, let alone the tone of his voice and the fact that his hand was cutting of Sam's oxygen supply.

"Are we understood?" Jacob asked. It was clear there was only one correct answer to his question.

Sam tried to speak but it was nothing but a gargled whisper and a wheezy breath. If Jacob didn't let go soon, Sam's head was going to pop off.

I slowly walked up behind Jacob so as not to disturb him. It was fairly obvious that he was blinded by rage and I didn't want to get caught in the crossfire of his fury. I ran my hand down the center of his back before wrapping my arms around his waist and interlocking my fingers together against his abdomen. He relaxed slightly but was still shaking like he was having a fucking seizure.

I started at his left shoulder blade and feathered kisses up to the nape of his neck. I pressed my lips to his neck firmly and lingered there for a short moment before continuing my path over to his right shoulder blade. The more my lips pressed against his skin, the less he trembled. By the time I had finished, he was slowly unwrapping his fingers from Sam's neck. As Jacob released Sam, I pulled him backwards a few steps hoping it would ease the animosity between the two of them. I stood by Jacob's side and ran my fingertips gently across his back to keep him calm.

"We're going to the Cullen's to find out exactly what's going on. Keep your pack on the rez and we'll report back when we have more information," I said to Sam before looking up at Jacob for his approval. I really shouldn't have been speaking for my Alpha regardless of whether or not I was his girlfriend. He smiled softly and nodded as he wrapped his arm tightly around my waist.

"Why the fuck would we do that? Wouldn't it be better to just ambush them? Take them by surprise? And since when do you have any authority to tell me what the fuck to do?" Sam rambled and snorted. I took a deep breath as I tore my gaze from Jacob and turned to face Sam.

"You don't _have _to listen to me, but I suggest you do. Your plan is idiotic, Sam. Did you forget about Edward? He reads minds ya know," I stated sarcastically. "He'll hear your thoughts miles before we get there. And yea yea, I know you can keep your thoughts to yourself. But what about Collin and Brady over there?" I tilted my head towards the rest of the pack. "They can't keep shit to themselves. You know they'll give us away as soon as we're within hearing distance. If that happens, all we'll be ambushing is an empty fucking house. You really think the Cullen's would stay there like sitting ducks and just fucking wait for us to kill them?"

Sam started to answer but I cut him off. "That was a rhetorical question. Like I said...you're an idiot. And what if we're wrong? We all know how air-headed Bella is. She very well could have caught some crazy nasty disease and be legitimately sick. Do you want the chief of police's daughters blood on your hands if she's actually still human? I know I sure as hell don't," I argued as I crossed my arms over my chest.

Sam was looking for the words to prove me wrong but he couldn't. I was right and we all knew it. I clapped my hands together and glanced around to make sure nobody else was going to argue with me about the matter.

"Alrighty then. I think we're done here," I voiced as I grabbed Jacob's hand and interlocked our fingers. Seth hurried to my other side and nudged my shoulder as we turned and walked away.

"Well that didn't go as well as planned," I mumbled.

"Did you see the look on Sam's face when you told him off, Leah? Priceless!" Seth boasted. I shook my head softly and smiled.

"It was pretty amazing."

"Amazing? That was freaking epic! I've never seen Sam rendered speechless before," he bragged.

I couldn't help but laugh at his excitement but it was halfhearted at best. I was too concerned about Jacob to share in Seth's delight. He hadn't said a word since he threatened Sam.

I brought his hand to my mouth and kissed his knuckles tenderly, reassuring him that I was there if he needed me. I wasn't sure if he was upset with me, Sam, or Bella but I was secretly hoping it was me. It would hurt too much to have confirmation that he still had feelings for that bitch.

To be completely honest, I was jealous. I'd never be loved by Jacob as much as he loved her. I might be the one who got him in the end, but she would always hold his heart and I'd forever be second best. I shook my head to clear out the negative thoughts before we got close enough for Edward to start sifting through my brain.

We walked the rest of the way to the Cullen's in complete silence. Jacob and I glanced nervously at each other often while Seth kept his gaze on the ground before us. I know he was hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. I'd have to see if I could convince Jacob to allow him to stay home during the fight. I just couldn't imagine forcing my brother to kill the people that he had grown to care about even though they were our mortal enemies.

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly as we approached the front of the house. Jacob squeezed my hand gently as Seth raised his fist to knock but before he did, Carlisle had already opened the door for us. He ushered us in silently and I assumed Edward had already told him why we were there. I heard Bella groan and all three of our heads simultaneously snapped in the direction of the sound. What we saw shocked and astonished us beyond belief.


	39. Chapter 39: This Means War

It was bad enough my adrenaline levels were that of someone who had just been injected with an overdose of Epinephrine. I was ready to phase in two tenths of a second, but by the time I saw Bella Swan, I was on my knees vomiting in front of everyone.

"Jacob!" Leah shouted as she flung herself to the floor beside me. "Are you o-fucking-kay?" she asked loudly, ducking her head down to get a glimpse of mine.

A white plastic bucket was placed in front of me just as a second heave from my gut caused a shot of last night's taco dinner to come spraying from my mouth. It wasn't pleasant to experience or to know you were being watched. It was rather uncomfortable and embarrassing to know seven vampires, one Bella, and a concerned Leah were all watching me literally spill my guts.

"That's disgusting, dog," the blonde, Rosalie, hissed.

"So is Bella!" Leah growled at her in my defense.

"Stop," I choked, spitting the taste of digested beef out of my mouth and into the bucket of bile. "I'm fine."

"Jacob," Bella's weak voice called. "I'm sorry. I know I'm a lot for you to look at right now."

"Bella, please. Relax. You need all your energy," Edward's voice said, comforting a pale, thin, Bella.

I took in a few deep breaths before lifting my eyes to meet her sickly gaze. "Please tell me you ate a watermelon seed and now it's growing in your stomach."

She patted her enormous belly and laughed shortly. "I'm afraid not, Jake." She smiled at me feebly for a second or two, groaned, and sunk back into the cushions around her.

"She can't be pregnant!" I roared as I stood up, pushing Leah aside. "Edward is fucking dead!"

"There's no need for fowl language or yelling," Edward murmured, taking Bella's hand.

I felt myself getting sick again and I held my stomach, ready to hurl all over Blondie, attentively standing close to annoy me. "You look like you're six months, Bella. I haven't seen you in like two weeks. That's barely long enough to even need a pregnancy test!"

"It just happened, Jake. It wasn't really...well, planned," she said with a pained look on her face. Both of her hands were holding either side of her ginormous stomach as if it might roll off into the floor and break.

"There's no way that thing is a baby," I growled, walking closer to Bella's shriveled body. She resembled a raisin. The only solid thing about her was the huge bubble of a gut. Several of the Cullens hissed at me, but Edward waved them off.

"I hope you haven't forgotten I can read every single thought that possesses your mind," Edward reminded me bitterly.

I scoffed. "Yeah, yeah." I flashed him a look of my usual distaste for his presence and he retreated to the arm of the couch like a good little bitch.

Edward laughed sardonically. "Leah is the one in heat."

"Ex-fucking-cuse me?" Leah growled angrily, suddenly thrusting forward at Edward.

"Hey, hey, Leah, it's okay, it's alright," I assured her, placing my hands firmly on her shoulders to hold her back.

"It is _not_ okay!" she snapped. "That bastard needs to keep my privates out of his routine brain scans before I stick my maxi pad to his fucking face."

I ignored the mental image. "It's not like he has a brain. It shriveled up and rotted a century ago," I whispered under my breath.

"Apparently his cock didn't," she scorned, pushing me away.

I smiled, trying not to laugh. Leah stepped back and held herself up against a far wall. I turned around to face Bella, who looked like she'd fallen asleep in an awkward position.

"Your jokes aren't funny," Edward said dryly.

"Neither is this one." I motioned toward Bella's protruding belly. "What kind of baby is made from vampire..." I cringed, not wanting to say it. "Sperm." I turned my head away, too disgusted to look at any of them.

"We didn't think it was possible, either," Carlisle began. "But there have been instances of hybrid, half-breed children in—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! You mean that thing," I pointed accusingly at Bella's stomach, "is a fucking baby vampire?"

"Half of one at least," Carlisle assured. "I can distinguish a fast, fluttering heartbeat, but I cannot find out much more than that due to the placenta being nearly as think as stone."

"No!" I shouted hysterically. "We have to kill that thing. Look at what it's doing to her!" Anger flooded my body and I felt six cold hands forcing me to back away from Bella.

"You won't lay one paw on her, dog," Rosalie snapped as Jasper, Alice, and Emmett pinned me down to a chair. My legs buckled from underneath me as I plopped into the leather La-Z-Boy.

"There is no need for that," Carlisle advised his children. "Jacob is only being protective of someone he loves." He stared at me for a moment, retreating across the room to Bella who was now awake thanks to my loud mouth.

Perpendicular on the wall to my right, Leah looked like she was trying to hold in a shit, probably in an attempt to refrain from attacking the Cullens out of rage.

All six stone-cold hands lifted off me simultaneously, but my attention was captured by Bella's tiny body hosting that giant parasite. She almost looked to be on the verge of death like she'd reached the last stage of anorexia. I couldn't imagine how terrible she must have been feeling, having something so heavy slowly killing her with every passing minute. It was growing at an alarming rate and by the time it would have wanted out, Bella would no longer have any strength left to house it.

"You have no plans whatsoever to get rid of that thing, do you?" I asked ruefully.

"No," Edward answered blankly. "She wants to keep it."

I looked at Bella who nodded and smiled. "He's my little nudger, Jake, my little baby."

My brows furrowed. "He?"

"I guess I think you're a boy," she said lovingly to her belly.

Pushing myself up from the chair, Emmett and Jasper defensively gravitated toward me. "That's just sick, Bells, plain fucking sick." I licked my lips. My throat was going dry at an accelerated rate and I had to get the hell out of this house.

"Come on, Leah," I grunted, already headed for the door. Leah pushed herself from the wall and into a standing position, walking briskly to my side. I turned back, looking over each and every face in the room.

Carlisle and Esme were standing together on the side a few feet from the couch. Bella was stretched out with Edward's hand firmly gripping hers. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were spread out in various places and staring intently at me. Rosalie was smirking as she looked down at the bucket filled with my vomit. I had my doubts, but she would probably drink it later. I would never put anything past these blood fuckers anymore.

"This means war," I warned. "If you won't kill that thing, _I will_."


	40. Chapter 40: We Fall Together Or We Never

Jacob stormed out of the house ahead of me, but I was right on his heels. Seth was standing just off the porch with a look of utter bewilderment on his face. I grabbed his elbow and yanked him roughly, trying to keep up with Jacob.

"Does somebody mind telling me what's going on?" Seth asked innocently. I tightened my grip on his arm and picked up my pace.

"Ow! Leah, you're hurting me!" He tried to pry my fingers from his elbow.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I let go of his arm. "Just try to keep up."

I broke into a jog. Jacob was a good hundred yards in front of us now. I had to catch up to him before he snapped and went on some crazy psycho murderer killing spree.

"Leah!" Seth scolded impatiently. I turned my head to look at him briefly. "What the hell happened in there?"

"One, don't yell at me. Two, watch your fucking language. Three, Bella's pregnant."

He stumbled a couple steps as I spat out the last part. "Bella cheated on Edward?" he inquired, appalled by the very thought.

"No dipshit!" I reached over as he caught up to me and slapped him upside the head. "It's Edward's demon spawn."

"But...but...Edward is a vampire. He's dead. It's not possible."

"Well apparently sperm are like cockroaches, they live through anything. Now can you speed up or do I need to carry you?" 

By the time we caught up to Jacob, he was already back on the reservation. I waved Seth off and told him to go home as I turned and followed Jacob to his house.

"Jacob!" I shouted as I approached him. He was pacing back and forth furiously in his back yard. "Jacob, please," I grunted softly as I grabbed his shaking arm and stopped him. "Talk to me." By this point I was practically pleading. He kept his body turned away from me and didn't look up from the ground. I stepped in front of him and took his face between my hands, lifting it slightly until he was looking at me. His eyes were wet and it was obvious he was holding back tears. "Please," I whispered one last time as I ran my thumbs along his jawline.

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Instead, he buried his face in the crook of my neck and held my body tight to his as he let the tears fall. I wasn't exactly sure why he was crying but I couldn't question him when he was like this. I held him tighter as his body finally stopped quivering and he went limp in my arms. I rubbed his back soothingly, kissing his head and whispering words of encouragement in his ear.

He took a deep breath as he stood to his full height wiped the tears from his eyes. "We're going to need help," he said sadly, sighing and started pacing again.

"I know. We're going to need everybody on this one. Who do you want to talk to first?" I questioned as I sat in the grass and pulled my knees to my chest.

"Quil and Embry. They'll be the easiest to convince," he explained as he held his hand out to help me from the ground. "We should go now. We probably don't have much time."

I wished this could have waited until morning, but I knew Jacob was right. We had to take care of this as soon as possible, because by the look of it, that abomination was coming sooner rather than later. I grabbed Jacob's hand and stood without another word. It was killing me to not know what he was thinking. He intertwined his fingers with mine and started walking towards Embry's house. I stared up at him as we walked. His face was strong and stoic, not showing a trace of emotion. His eyes told a different story, though. In them you could see pain, anguish, anxiety, heartache, torment and worry. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to lead the people he loved into war knowing that some of them wouldn't be coming home. He was scared but he knew what we had to do.

Jacob started for the front door as we reached Embry's house, but I tugged him back.

"We can't just go knocking on the door in the middle of the night, Jacob, his mom would kill us! Let's go knock on his window," I remarked as I pulled him to the side of the house.

Thankfully Embry's house only had one level so the window was easily within reach. I knocked lightly and took a couple steps back. We heard a groan and some rustling before Embry opened the window with a yawn. His sleepy eyes suddenly came alive when he saw Jacob and I standing there.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked groggily.

"Come with us. We have to go get Quil and then we'll explain," I answered as I waved him outside.

He jumped through the open window and was beside us in half a second. It was obvious he saw exactly what I had seen when he looked up at Jacob. Embry smiled softly and we started toward Quil's house. Jacob nodded curtly with not so much as a twitch of his lips for a smile.

Quil was not as easy to wake up as Embry was. I think I knocked for a whole five minutes before his lazy ass finally got out of bed. That kid could sleep like a fucking hibernating bear.

We decided First Beach would be the best place to talk because we'd have the most privacy there. The last thing we needed was Sam barging in on our little meeting.

Jacob and I sat beside one another with Quil and Embry mirroring us. "We're going to need your help," Jacob stated simply.

"Anything you need," Embry expressed. Quil bobbed his head in agreement.

Jacob took a deep breath to prepare himself for what he was about to say. "Bella is pregnant. She's having Edward's child."

Quil and Embry looked at each other before turning back to us. They wore the exact expression Jacob did when he saw Bella laying on the couch.

"If you're going to puke, please do it _that_ way," I growled as I pointed behind them.

"How can she be pregnant?" Quil asked as he furrowed his brow.

"We don't know. Apparently sperm doesn't die like the rest of the body when you're turned into a vampire. I guess it's just mutated or something," Jacob explained.

"Mutated? What do you mean?" Embry chimed in.

"It isn't fully human, Embry. It's a vampire hybrid," Jacob stated abhorrently.

"What? You're trying to tell us that she has some half-human, half-vampire freakish monster spawn growing inside of her?" Quil asked.

Jacob nodded. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

Embry sighed before asking, "What are we going to do about it?"

"Kill it," Jacob responded dryly.

"I'm in," Embry remarked excitedly.

"Me too," Quil groaned sadly. He would never turn us down but I'm sure the decision was harder for him to make because of little Claire Young.

"Unfortunately, the Cullen's aren't going to sit back and let us kill this thing. We're going to have to take them out along with it." Jacob looked down at our intertwined hands and squeezed mine gently before continuing. "We'll need all the help we can get."

Embry nodded and stood. "We can talk to the rest of the guys and get back to you tomorrow."

"Go home and get some rest. You look like shit, Jake," Quil expressed sympathetically as he followed after Embry.

"Ready to go?" I inquired giving Jacob's hand a playful tug.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's get the hell out of here." He smiled the entire way as we walked the short distance back to his house.

Sneaking in silently so as not to wake Billy, we climbed into Jacob's small bed. He was passed out in minutes while I laid there unable to sleep, thinking about how everything was going to pan out over the next few days.

This would be nothing like the fight against the newborns. I knew in my heart I would risk everything, sacrifice myself, even, to keep Jacob out of harms way. I had fought for his love and now I had to fight something _he_ loved. Would he ask me to kill Bella while he held the Cullens back?


	41. Chapter 41: This Changes Everything

In the morning, Leah had somehow managed to crawl on top of me, stretch out over the length of my body, and sleep like a cat. I smiled as I watched her breathing with her mouth open and her cheek smashed against my chest right at the base of my nipple. I thought of how much she looked like a baby falling asleep from being nursed the night before and it pained me to have to move her.

I turned over, gently holding Leah to me as I eased her down onto the empty side of my bed. She groaned and face-planted into the pillow.

I held back a giggle. "I love you, Lee," I whispered quietly, leaving her alone to rest.

Throwing on some cutoffs and slipping into a pair of shoes, I tiptoed out of my room and into the kitchen. My dad was in the living room glued to a boxing match on TV like a kid deemed speechless by the first time he'd seen a porno.

I picked up the century old telephone and started dialing but before I'd had a chance to complete the number, Embry and Quil invited themselves in.

"I'm not home," Quil said sarcastically, looking over at Embry who snickered just a bit.

I put the phone back on the receiver and raised one brow. "I certainly have my work cut out for me." I sighed, pushing away from the counter and greeting Quil and Embry in the doorway.

"Yeah!" my dad shouted at the screen.

"Dad!" I hissed under my breath. "Leah is sleeping!"

He coughed and straightened up in his wheelchair. "Right. Sorry."

I mumbled, "You'd better not wake her up," before I followed Embry and Quil outside, shutting the door behind me.

"We've got some good news, and we've got some bad news," Embry warned as we reached the top of my driveway.

I stopped walking and they both looked at each other anxiously. "I'll take the bad news first."

Embry nervously kicked a few clods of dirt and loose gravel around on the ground. "Well, Sam, he, um...found out we talked to you and Leah last night."

"What!" I shouted furiously. "How? Did you two tell him?"

Quil bit down so hard on his bottom lip I was surprised he didn't take it off. "No. I mean, yes. Well, we just—"

"Spit it out already!"

"Geez, Jake, calm down. We kind of can't keep our thoughts to ourselves, you know."

"Well what happened?" I demanded, balling my hands into fists until my joints hurt.

Quil and Embry both whimpered and backed down. "There was a lot of yelling," Embry indicated uneasily. "And a lot of commanding and arguing and more yelling..."

"Get to the point," I said, annoyed.

"We told Sam...no. We choose you over, well, him."

Quil smiled proudly and Embry joined him, lightening the mood. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. "What's the _good_ news?" I asked, not even wanting to know.

Embry's smile widened. "We're part of your pack, Jake!"

"Great, more people to babysit," I joked, and they both joined in on my laughter.

"It's five on five now!" Quil boasted in our rumble of hysterical guffawing.

"We'll take out those Cuntlens now for sure!" Embry howled in excitement.

"We still need a strategical plan," I reminded them.

They both nodded in agreement before we begun walking again towards First Beach.

* * *

It took all of twenty minutes before we found ourselves at the shoreline, watching the late August waves beat against the jagged rocks. I sat down in the moist sand, facing the infinite horizon filled with dreary clouds and a black storm that was headed straight for us. Embry and Quil sat beside me silently and waited for me to speak.

"She's not going to fight," I stated blankly.

"Who, Jake?" Quil questioned curiously.

"Leah."

"What? Why?"

"I won't let her. If something happened, I—" Drawing in a breath, I felt a tightening pain swell in my chest. I twitched, but tried not to let it effect my emotions. "I don't think I could live with myself."

"We need everyone, Jacob," Embry reminded me. "We can't make exceptions just because you love her. We all have people we don't want to lose, or want to lose us. If we don't fight together, we're going to fail—epically."

I shook my head quickly and shortly. "I have to ask for Sam's help, no matter how much we don't exactly see eye to eye." I lowered my head, ashamed of the way I had acted toward him in the past. "The Cullens out number us by two. If I ask Sam and his pack to fight alongside us as our alliance, we'll outnumber them by three. It's logical and the best damn plan we've got."

"So this means you _will_ let Leah fight?" Embry queried.

"I have no choice, but there won't be a chance for her to get hurt if I ask her to...take...t-t-to ki-k-kill Bel-la."

Quil patted my back trying to convince me to relax. I knew he could tell I was hurting much more than I would allow them to see. "I know it's hard, but we're taking this thing together."

"I still love her, you know," I admitted. "I promised I would fight...until her...heart...beat." I threw my face into my hands and inhaled short spurts of breaths, sobbing at the top of my lungs. My hands were soaked with tears in less than thirty seconds and I could feel the hands of my two best friends patting my shoulders in comfort.

"You still love her," Leah's cracking voice rang from behind me.

I turned just as Embry and Quil did to see Leah standing a few feet away with a dreadful look on her face. "Leah, you knew—"

"I understand," she said with no emotion, lifting her eyes to meet mine. "You would hate me forever, but you'd want me to kill her so you wouldn't have to."

"Stop it, please," I begged as I crawled on my knees toward her before getting up off the sandy ground and standing to face her. "That's not how it was supposed to be." I reached my hand out to touch her cheek, but she pushed it away.

"I love you, Jake, but I can't handle this," she cried.

How could I have been so stupid? I didn't love Bella as much as I loved her. "You're breaking up with me?"

She nodded in confirmation. I felt my heart crumble into a trillion tiny pieces as I fell backwards and my world fell into blackness.


	42. Chapter 42: To End The Rapture

I was startled out of a deep sleep by the sound of Billy screaming at the TV. Rolling over, I pouted when I realized I was alone. I could hear Jacob, Quil and Embry leaving through the front door but I was too tired to get out of bed or even care what they were talking about. Closing my eyes, I tried to fall back to sleep, but my curiosity got the best of me.

Groaning as I climbed out of Jacob's tiny bed, I stretched my limbs as far as they could reach and walked into the hallway. I quickly stopped in the bathroom to rearrange my face before heading out to greet to Billy.

"Good morning, Billy." I said, smiling. "Do you know where the boys went?"

He didn't take his eyes off the TV as he answered, "They probably went to the beach."

"Thanks." I laughed lightly as I exited the house and begun walking to First Beach.

As I approached the beach I could barely make out Jacob's voice in the distance. "She's not going to fight."

_Hell no! He better not be talking about me, _I thought bitterly, moving closer and listening more attentively.

"Who, Jake?" Quil asked.

"Leah."

"What? Why?"

_Yes Jacob, please explain because there is no way in fucking hell you and my brother are going to fight without me._

"I won't let her. If something happened, I—" He paused. I really needed to catch up so I could see what the hell was going on because obviously Jacob and I had different ideas as to how this fight was going to go down. "I don't think I could live with myself."

_Does he seriously think I could live with myself if I was stuck sitting at home like some lazy housewife while everybody I cared about was at war with a bunch of vampires?_

"We need everyone, Jacob," Embry chimed in. "We can't make exceptions just because you love her. We all have people we don't want to lose, and people who don't want to lose _us_. If we don't fight together, we're going to fail—epically."

I smiled. _Thank you Embry for being the voice of reason. I'll give you a treat later_.

"I have to ask for Sam's help, no matter how much we don't exactly see eye to eye. The Cullens outnumber us by two. If I ask Sam and his pack to fight alongside us as our alliance, we'll outnumber them by three. It's logical and the best damn plan we've got," Jacob stated.

"So this means you _will _let Leah fight?" Embry asked.

_Let me fight? He doesn't have a fucking choice! Boyfriend, Alpha__—__I don't give a fuck. He's not my father and he can't tell me what I can and cannot do. I'm fighting whether he likes it or not._

"I have no choice, but there won't be a chance for her to get hurt if I ask her to...take...t-t-to ki-k-kill Bel-la." Jacob sounded like he was choking and I quickened my pace.

"I still love her, you know," I heard Jacob say and I stopped dead in my tracks, about fifteen feet behind them. "I promised I would fight...until her...heart...beat." Jacob started sobbing as Quil and Embry patted his shoulders in comfort. I knew that asshole still loved her so why did it shock me so much to hear him say it?

"You still love her." My voice cracked, but I had to remain strong. I couldn't let him know the cage in my chest had just opened itself up and the pieces of my heart were spilling into my stomach.

Jacob, Embry and Quil all turned to look at me. Jacob opened his mouth to speak. "Leah, you knew—"

"I understand," I stated callously as I looked up at him. "You would hate me forever, but you'd want me to kill her so you wouldn't have to," I snorted. I should have known he'd been using me this whole time.

"Stop it, please." Why did it sound like he was begging? He crawled toward me, standing on two feet again as he towered above me. "That's not how it was supposed to be." He had the nerve to reach his hand up to stroke my cheek and I carelessly smacked it away.

"I love you, Jake, but I can't handle this." I cried as tears began to form.

"You're breaking up with me?" he asked, seemingly astonished.

I nodded and watched Jacob's eyes roll into the back of his empty skull as he passed out and fell flat on his back in front of me. I wanted to run to his side and comfort him, but at the same time I wanted to kick him in the ribs and tell him how much I hated him. He still loved that leech loving cunt and I couldn't put up with it anymore.

"Make sure he gets home safe," I advised Quil and Embry as I turned on my heel and started to walk away.

"But wait!" Embry called. I carelessly looked over my shoulder. "Where are you going?"

"Don't worry about me. Jacob and Seth know where I'll be if I'm actually needed."

* * *

I ended up at my usual spot on the cliffs, my feet hanging over the ledge as I looked over the great span of space at the waves crashing against ancient rocks in the distance.

_She married the mind reader. She's carrying his demon spawn. How much more unavailable does the bitch need to be before he fucking realizes that there's no hope and that he should just give up and get the fuck over her?_

I huffed as I laid back, crossing my hands behind my head and staring up at the clouds.

_I'm such a fucking idiot. I should have never trusted him in the first place. _I drew in a deep breath and heaved a sad sigh. _Always the bridesmaid, never the bride._

Closing my eyes, I let my mind wander. Jacob wanted me to be the one to kill her. But why?

_She'd be the easiest to take out if she wasn't so closely protected by Edweird and Blondie. They'd never let me get close to the bitch without dismembering me first. _

"Fuck this," I mumbled. I was sick of trying to make sense of Jacob's deranged mind. I picked myself off the ground and begun walking slowly towards my house.

I carelessly approached the porch and turned the knob. When I opened the front door, I walked right into Seth.

"Leah! I was just about to come get you."

"Um, why?" I questioned.

"We're meeting up with Sam's pack in—" he paused and glanced over at the clock, "Crap! We were supposed to be there fifteen minutes ago."

I rolled my eyes. "Trust me, Jacob isn't going to bitch that we're late."

He narrowed his eyes at me for a second, obviously suspecting that something was up before sighing and walking out the door. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah." I closed the door behind me and caught up to him.

"Everything okay with you and Jake?" he asked nervously, glancing down at his feet as we walked.

"Just fucking dandy. Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "You were at the cliffs. You don't normally go there unless something is wrong so I just assumed..."

"Quit assuming. I'm fine. It's nothing I can't handle." I forced a weak smile.

"Okay. But you know I'm here if you need me, right?"

I nodded. "Of course, baby brother."

I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and ruffled his hair nearing the clearing. Jacob, Embry and Quil seemed completely relaxed as they spoke to a very angry Sam. Paul looked just as furious as his Alpha, Jared was bored to death, and Collin and Brady looked like two kids in a fucking candy emporium.

Did they not understand the seriousness of the situation? We were about to kill a fucking human. We'd have to create some sort of story to explain how and why the entire Cullen family suddenly just disappeared off the face of the Earth. Then there was Charlie. He'd spend the rest of his life miserable, searching for a way to reconnect with his daughter and we would never be able to tell him the truth about what happened to her.

I sighed sadly as we finally reached the boys just in time to hear Sam confirm the alliance between our two packs. For once in my fucked up life, I could actually say that I was proud of him. This was probably the only time he had ever, or would ever, set aside his prideful arrogance for a bigger cause. Jacob looked over at me unhappily before turning back to Sam.

"I want Edward," Jacob announced in a tone of voice that left no room for argument.

Sam nodded in agreement. "I'll take Emmett. Collin and Brady can take Esme. She'll be the easiest since they don't have much experience."

"What?" Collin and Brady whined in unison.

"You're going to make us fight a girl?" Brady asked in confusion.

"She'll be more than enough fun for you two. Quit complaining and accept it," Sam snorted before turning back to Jacob. "Jared will take Alice, Seth can have Rosalie, Quil and Embry should be able to handle Jasper, Leah can take Carlisle and Paul will take Bella."

I glanced up at Jacob, knowing he was going to protest Sam's orders. "Hell no. Paul gets Carlisle and Leah takes Bella."

I rolled my eyes. Why the fuck was he so adamant about me taking out Bella?

"Give me one good reason and I'll change it." Sam crossed his arms over his chest in defiance.

"I don't need a damn reason! That's how I want it and that's how it's going to be." Jacob stepped up to Sam as they both started to shake like a cheap version of rock'em sock'em robots from the dollar store.

I was not about to sit there and watch both my exes fight over something as stupid as this. I stepped between them, placing a hand on each of their chests and pushed them apart. "How about Paul and I both take Carlisle and whoever is open first can have Bella. It's not like she'll be going anywhere fast."

"No," they both shouted at me simultaneously.

I laughed in disbelief and shoved my arms outward with as much force as I could. They both stumbled backwards and looked at me with wide eyes. "Fine. Then you two can go suck each other off until you figure something out. I'm going home."

If they weren't going to listen to my reasoning, I wasn't going to sit around and watch them play 'Who's Cock is Bigger Anyway?' until they figured out it didn't matter. I turned and started walking home, throwing my middle finger up over my shoulder as they both pleaded for me to come back.


	43. Chapter 43: Explication

There were two reasons I didn't want Leah to fight, and both of them were selfish. The first was probably a more obvious one, because, unless a person was completely narcissistic, they wouldn't want the girl they were so madly in love with, out on the front line. And even if that girl didn't want you, or so she'd said, you would take comfort in knowing she would be safe and out of harms way at the end of the day.

I know it may seem I act like she's only human, but none of us are exactly bulletproof. I would much rather carry a greater risk of getting killed than have her lessen that chance by a small margin. After her not so shining performance with one nasty newborn only a couple months back, I felt it was a much better idea if she didn't have a chance to prove she could be as tough as the boys.

The second excuse I decided wasn't very fair in my reasoning, and was only determined from a choice I didn't want to make in the first place. How could I kill someone who had stolen my heart, meaningless to the fact they didn't want it anymore?

When Bella had chosen Edward, it was like the oxygen had evaporated from the atmosphere, forcing me to breathe in flames. Everyone kept telling me I would get over her, not seeing the situation from my point of view. It made things easier said than done. With that, my first and only other choice for doing such a gruesome act of selflessness was Leah. I trusted she would make it quick and painless, ripping the parasite from it's host and destroying the little bloodsucker complete.

There was a time when I thought things couldn't possibly get any worse. That time had been before I'd met Leah, and when she had me chasing her around the world like a loose dog in a neighborhood, it somehow took the load off my chest. I felt better for a while and almost completely forgot about Bella. Leah was like my personal brand of morphine, keeping me in a fog and completely under her spell. If Carlisle would have only taken his family far away from Forks, I was pretty sure Leah could have healed me.

I admitted after some time, we were one in the same in more ways than one. Once I'd stopped looking for attributes of Bella in other people, I found something new and wonderful. Leah was my band-aid, and I was hers. We were like pen and paper—one without the other would be completely useless. And though my cuts were far deeper than hers because they were new and fresh, we both felt the sting in them as equally.

I couldn't decide whether I wanted Leah to take Bella out of my own guilt or by my own curiousity. If Leah was plagued by her hate toward Bella, could she inevitably destroy the less than human thing living consuming Bella's health and still look her in the face while doing it? I wasn't sure why I was being so morbid all of a sudden, but I liked this side of me.

So as Leah walked away waving her mighty middle finger flag with Sam calling after her, I knew all she needed was her space. There was a desperation to run after her, pick her up in to my strong arms and kiss her like I had the night we'd given into each other. As strong of an urge as it was, I stood my ground and watched her disappear into the trees.

"Jacob, what are you, an idiot? Go after her!" Sam shouted into my ear.

I looked around, confused for a second and grimaced. "You're really starting to annoy me, Sam."

"Yeah? Good." He smirked.

"Are we done here?" Jared whined.

Sam stepped passed him and stood in the middle of the grouping. "We'll have practice here at midnight for the next two nights, and we'll attack on Thursday."

I decided not to argue, for Sam's sake anyway, and nodded in agreement with Embry, Quil, and an alert Seth who had fallen asleep while standing up.

"Was it that boring, Seth?" I snickered as I jabbed him with my elbow.

"If I say I don't want to do this, are you going to command I do it anyway?" Seth asked sadly.

I thought for a moment and then answered to the coolest degree I possibly could. "I'll have no choice, Seth. When you chose this pack, you accepted the binding ties that came with it."

"Okay," Seth whimpered. "I'll do it, but that doesn't mean I'll like it." He hung his head low and walked away.

I looked around in a quite moment. Everything was moving in slow motion as I listened to myself breathe. This was really going to happen. I was going to fight a family of vampires I had stood alongside with and took on an entire army of their kind at one point. Was it really the only choice I had? If that thing was killing Bella, why wouldn't Carlisle do something to stop it? This must have been their plan. They would have no choice but to change her. I wasn't about to let that happen. The treaty was the treaty, and one way or the other, Bella would die.

My heartbeat got faster and the anxiousness pumping through my veins sent me leaping forward and into a form that felt good to be again.

Four paws touched down on the soft pine needle ground as I ran at top speed with the wind in my fur. I focused on nothing else but my pace, trying just to clear my head of every stress filled moment from the day. My head was free from babbling of other uninvited guests and the muted silence calmed my senses. For the first time in a long while, I was glad to be me.


	44. Chapter 44: Morbid Prophecies

I went straight home and fell into a fitful sleep. I tossed and turned all night, waking up every couple hours for seemingly no reason at all. When I woke the next morning, I felt like shit. I decided that plopping my ass on the couch with a gallon of Chunky Monkey ice cream and watching sappy Lifetime movies all day was exactly what I needed to get over Jacob and make myself feel better.

"You okay?" Seth asked with a yawn as he entered the living room and sat beside me on the couch.

"Yeah. I'm fine. What happened after I left last night?" I flicked the TV off and turned to face him, tucking my legs beneath me and setting the ice cream in my lap.

"Not much. We're practicing tonight and tomorrow night at midnight," he whispered sadly.

"Oh. Great," I grumbled.

"We're...a-a-attacking on Thursday."

I nodded solemnly, knowing how hard this whole situation was for him. The Cullens were his friends whether I liked it or not and I really didn't think it was fair of Jacob to make him fight. Who knows if he would even be able to do it? He might end up just getting himself killed because he's too emotionally attached to tear them to shreds like the useless waste of space they were. Was Jacob really stupid and blind enough not to see that? All it would take is one slight hesitation on Seth's part and he'd be dead in an instant.

_If Seth dies, I will kill Jacob personally and it will be anything but quick and painless. As a matter of fact, it'll be more gruesome than any horror flick ever made. He'll beg me to kill him and I'm going to laugh in his fucking face when he does._

They were one in the same, Jacob and Seth. Jacob couldn't kill Bella because he loved her. He passed the job on to me because he's not man enough to do what needs to be done. Seth was the exact equivalent. He loved all of the Cullens and I really didn't see him being able to block out those strong emotions, even if he logically knew he was doing the right thing by killing them.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Seth was practically yanking my arm out of its socket as he tried to pull me off the couch.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?" I asked groggily as I jerked my arm away and threw it over my face.

"It's time to go! Get up," he demanded.

"I'm not going."

"You have to."

"No I don't and you can't make me. Go away."

"Jake told me you had to be there. You're my responsibility, Leah," he whined.

"Do you really think you're going to get in trouble if I don't come? Seriously?"

"Yes!" he shrieked.

"Well, you're wrong. Jacob knows I don't do anything I don't want to."

"He said you'd say that. Please, Leah. I really don't want to get on Jake's bad side," he pleaded. How could I say no when he guilt tripped me like that?

"Fine," I growled as I heaved my tired body off the couch.

He smiled appreciatively and I punched his arm playfully in return. I completely lost myself in thought as we left the house and headed towards Jacob's to meet up with the pack.

_Why the fuck does Jacob care if I practice or not? All I have to do is kill the beached whale and her demon spawn. My target won't even be able to fight back and if she did, it's not like she'd be able to do any serious damage._

I laughed as I played out the scenario in my mind.

_My small, gray wolf self lunges at Bella, snapping my jaws just to taunt her. The screech that pierces through the air as she comes to the realization that both herself and the leech feeding off her weak, lifeless body are about to die is deafening. The smirk that spreads across my face right before I sink my razor sharp teeth straight through the soft flesh of her abdomen and into that parasite they call a baby is purely malevolent. Bella grasps fistfuls of my fur as she begs for her pathetic excuse for a life. I rip my head to the side, annoyed that she's fighting back and tear her abdomen clean off her body as she cries out in agony. Blood is spewing everywhere and I tear the parasite to shreds as Bella's screams die down into gurgles and short breaths before cutting off completely. _

I was interrupted from my daydream by Seth jabbing me in the ribs with his elbow.

"Leah? What's so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," I state innocently as I bit my lip to keep from laughing even harder. He just shook his head and turned his attention back to the narrow gravel road we were traveling.

_Jacob is so selfish. The only reason he wants me to come to this damn thing is so he can get inside my fucking head and find out what I'm really thinking. Fuck that. If he wants to be inside my head so bad, I'm going to make it hell for him._

I stifle another laugh as I contemplate the best way to make Jacob miserable for the remainder of the night. My plan is to flirt like hell with Embry. It's not as evil or as genius as I had hoped but I was out of time to think of something better.

Seth's face lit up as we approached the house. Jacob, Quil and Embry were all sitting on the porch waiting for us to arrive. Jacob took one satisfied look at me before nodding at Seth, silently thanking him for dragging my ass along.

I rolled my eyes before taking a deep breath and putting on a brave face, smiling sweetly at Embry as he came to my side. A look of confusion flitted across his face before he smiled back.

"What?" I asked in mock disbelief. "A girl can't smile?"

He laughed as he slid his shorts off and tied them to his ankle. "Smile all you want. It looks good on you."

I stood there with my mouth gaping open in shock as I watched him phase and dart into the forest.

_No way in hell did Embry fucking Call just compliment me. This is going to be easier than I thought._

I quickly ripped my sundress over my head and tied it to my ankle before phasing and catching up with the pack. Everybody was completely silent so I decided to stir things up a bit.

_"You know Embry, I never noticed before but you're pretty cute for a scrawny lil thing."_

_ "Uh...um...what?"_

_ "I said you're cute, dumb ass."_

_ "Well, thanks? I guess."_

I nudged his flank and winked. _"Welcome hot stuff."_

If we were in human form, he would have blushed like his name was Isabella fucking Swan. I snickered internally at the mental image of Embry with long, brown, wavy hair stumbling through the woods, his face as red as a fire truck.

_"Hey! I would _not_ be blushing,"_ he interrupted yet another daydream.

_"Right. And my name isn't Leah fucking Clearwater. Whatever you say, Embry."_ I rolled my eyes and banked right. He followed close behind.

_"I know I'm hot,"_ he thought nonchalantly, like it was common knowledge to the world that he was hot shit and I was some sort of idiot for not noticing sooner.

_"Mm, cocky. I like it."_

_"Will you two shut the fuck up already? We have more important things to concentrate on than your raging hormones,"_ Jacob grumbled.

_"If you're going to make me kill the human, the least you could do is let me have a little fun first."_

We ran the rest of the way to the clearing in complete silence. The only thoughts running through our minds were the visions of the expansive forest in front of us with the occasional glimpse of Embry or I as we bashfully glanced back and forth at each other.

I felt a small pang of jealousy in my nonexistent heart when I glanced up at Jacob. He was standing tall, strong, seemingly unphased by my ridiculous flirting. Was he not the slightest bit upset about our breakup? I was probably hurting myself more than I was hurting him with all this foolishness, but it would be worth it to see the pain on his face when he finally snapped. I had to show him how excruciating it was to know the one you love loves someone else. I didn't love Embry in the least bit and I never would. I'd just have to play actress long enough to convince Jacob that I was developing feelings for his best friend.

_"Wow. I really am a vindictive, coldhearted bitch."_

My mind was instantly flooded with four separate yet simultaneous responses.

_"What?"_ Embry asked. _"No kidding,"_ Jacob snorted. _"No you're not,"_ Seth chastised and Quil just laughed.

_"HA! I _so_ didn't mean to say that out loud. And fuck you Jacob. You're just pissed that I broke up with your sorry ass and you'll be spending the rest of your life alone with your hand, a bottle of lube and a cum tissue. It's your fault. Not mine. You're the one who loves somebody else and ruined what we could have had so get the fuck over it already and quit being an immature twat."_

He was about to respond when we broke through the last of the trees and into the clearing. The boys shifted and threw their shorts on as they kept a steady pace towards Sam and his disciples who were already waiting for us. I retreated back into the forest so I could phase and change in private before running to catch up with everybody else. I made sure to stand abnormally close to Embry's side, brushing my arm against his while also staying within Jacob's peripheral vision.

Sam was standing tall, his arms crossed over his chest as he spoke, "We should practice within our separate packs first. Ease everybody into it before putting them up against an enemy they can't hear."

Jacob simply nodded in agreement and turned toward us. "Seth and Quil, over there." He pointed to his left and they followed obediently.

"Leah and Embry," he said simply as he pointed over to his right.

_I guess I'm going to have to step up my game a little bit to get the reaction I want. _I thought as I slowly peeled my dress from my body in front of everybody. I was watching for Jacob's reaction out of the corner of my eye. His face faltered slightly as his gaze fell upon my naked body, but he quickly regained his composure.

I took my time and folded the garment neatly before making a show out of walking over to a nearby tree and setting it down on the ground. I took a deep breath and turned around, making sure to give everyone a full frontal view before phasing. Once on all fours, I trotted back over to Embry who had already phased.

_"What the hell was that all about?"_ he asked.

_"Didn't you enjoy the show?"_ I laughed.

_"I plead the fifth on that one!"_

I rolled my eyes and lowered my stance into a crouch. _"Ready to get your ass handed to you by a girl?"_

_"Look who's being cocky now. Bring it on!"_

We wrestled for a good ten minutes before I was finally able to pin him to the ground. I lunged for his neck, stopping when my snout was only millimeters from his throat. I stuck my tongue out and licked from his neck all the way up the side of his face before jumping off of him and setting him free.

_"Told ya. You should have listened to me."_ I smirked, relishing in the fact that not only did I beat Embry's ass, but Jacob's thoughts were pretty livid at the moment.

_"Go home, Leah. You're done for the night," _Jacob thought. He was cool, calm and collected on the outside but I knew he was infuriated on the inside.

_"Alright. G'night losers!"_ I headed back over to the tree where I had left my dress, phased and pulled it on.

It was hard enough to keep my emotional distress to myself when I had distractions and I knew I wasn't going to be able to do it alone for the entire half hour run home. It was going to take me over an hour to get there on two legs, but it was totally worth it to get Jacob out of my head.

By the time I got home, I was physically and mentally exhausted. The gallon of ice cream I ate that morning did not have sufficient nutrition to fuel the amount of energy I had exerted this evening. I had planned on waiting up for Seth but as soon as I climbed into bed I was out.


	45. Chapter 45: Surprise To Our Demise

I continuously questioned Leah's true motive. Not only was she flirting with my best friend, but she was also starting to annoy me with it. I really had no choice but to bite my tongue and take it, since there were more important things on our hands, and Sam kept reminding me of it too. I knew Leah was only trying to make me jealous, or maybe she was just _that_ unhappy with me, but why couldn't she just say how she felt so I wouldn't keep holding onto to her when it would only hurt worse in the long run? I figured it was what she'd want out of me, but I wouldn't let her get the benefit of the doubt. If it hurt more than it did now, she sure as hell wasn't going to see any feedback in my emotions. No matter what, I would not break under her pressure.

After a full night's practice of all work and no play, I was dead beat. Carrying my sore ass home, I took the shortest path possible back to the reservation and phased just before the edge of the forest where the trees met the main road. Unfortunately, that road went by the Clearwater's house, and as soon as I walked passed, I saw Embry already knocking on the door like a puppy begging to be let in from the cold.

"It's six o'clock in the fucking morning, moron!" I yelled down the driveway at him. He was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, with a lovesick grin on his goofy ass face and for some reason, it didn't surprise me.

"So what? Leah told me to come by as soon as practice was over!" He waved me off and continued knocking even harder than before.

"Yeah, well I hope Sue kicks your ass for waking her up this early," I mumbled under my breath as I stomped passed and toward my house.

When I opened the front door, the fresh smell of bacon and eggs hit me in the face. I stumbled back, catching myself on the frame before I looked up and saw Leah standing over the stove, cooking.

"You're just in time," she beamed happily, scrambling the eggs around in the pan as the bacon sizzled and popped in the skillet beside it.

"Why are you here? I thought you and Embry were having a flin—"

"Shut up, I don't like him like that!" she hissed at me, taking down a stack of plates from the cabinets above her.

"Then you admit you were just trying to make me jealous then?"

"Jacob, please. This is stupid. I'm just trying to do something nice for you and your father. This does _not_ mean I'm coming back to you. You love Bella, remember?"

"That's not true, Leah." I stepped into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as I watched her cook.

She didn't turn to look at me, and instead, shook her head. "You can't take it back. You've already said it, but I've accepted it."

"I'm not going to love her forever." I huffed in frustration. "I don't even love her like that. I mean, I do..._love_ her, but it's not the same way I love you." I was practically pleading for her to look at me so she could at least tell that I meant it.

"You're a wonderful guy, Jake, really, but I can't go through this with you over and over again. My heart wasn't made to be broken again."

"I didn't mean to break anything. Leah, please just look at me." I touched her arm, but she jerked away. Turning the gas off on the stove, she unstacked the plates onto the counter. Gripping the pan, she scrapped the eggs into equal portions on each plate and sat the pan back on the burner..

"I know you want me to be the one to kill her, and for whatever reason, it doesn't matter, but just know that I've come to terms with the fact of what I'll be giving up."

My eyebrows furrowed. What could she possibly be losing besides an ounce of pride for killing a human? "What do you think you'll be giving up?"

She turned her head and looked into my eyes the deepest she could possibly go. I knew any words which came from her lips would be everything she would never be able to lie about. It was a look I dreaded with throbbing pain and endless passion, but once she opened her mouth to speak, only one word managed to escape. "You."

I drew in a breath so deep, my lungs ached. Leah's eyes fluttered down to the bacon as she tediously flipped them over one last time before turning the burner off. I kept my mouth closed, clearly at a loss for words in the moment of unattainable bliss that Leah was still clinging to the hope of a change from the bitter past few days.

"You think I'm going to hate you, don't you?"

Leah nervously grabbed a saucer, placing a napkin over it and sitting the strips of bacon on top of it to drain the grease.

She let out an exhausted breath. "If you only knew how hard it was for me to finally make you see that."

"I would never ask you to do anything you didn't want to, especially this."

She set down the spatula and propped her hand against the counter, leaning on it for support. "Then answer this one question for me: Why won't you let me fight the Cullens?"

I sighed. "Because I don't want you to get hurt. Because I fucking love you and I can't stand the thought of one of those bloodsuckers digging their fangs into your flesh. It's too much for me to handle, let alone experience."

She smiled, content with my answer. "You worry too much. I'm as tough as the boys, I _promise_." She placed two pieces of bacon on each place and then turned back to face me." And don't worry about Embry, he's got nothing on you, big guy." She patted my stomach playfully and kissed my cheek. I was pretty sure she wasn't talking about my body type.


	46. Chapter 46: Unnamed Feelings

After breakfast, I cleaned up the dishes and headed home for some much needed rest. This night would be the night that changed the rest of our lives and I knew I would probably need to give Seth quite the pep talk before we headed into battle. I still wouldn't say that I was okay with the circumstances surrounding our situation, but I knew what had to be done and how to prepare myself for it.

I was about to commit first degree murder, punishable by death in the state of Washington. My victims? The Chief of Police's teenage daughter and her unborn child. I was starting to believe that Jacob was right in assigning me this task. No member of either pack had a heart as cold and black as mine. I would be able to move forward from this and forgive myself. The others would run themselves into the grave with remorse and self-reproach.

I silently crept into the house, knowing that my mother and Seth were asleep. I grabbed a quick shower, thew on some pajamas and hopped into bed. As soon as I turned out the light, the darkness seemed to spread from my bedroom into my thoughts. I felt like my body had been torn to shreds. I was so broken. I closed my eyes and imagined myself as a fucked up version of Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas. A million tiny patches sewn together. The only think keeping them intact was a weak thread. One small tug and it would all come crashing down. I was consistently being torn down and built back up. Each time I came out a bit stronger, but I still didn't feel strong enough.

_Maybe I'm meant to be a tortured soul for the rest of eternity. The world wouldn't be complete without the over-dramatic, depressed girl, right? _I laughed dismally at the thought. _I don't think I can be happy alone..._

Each day it got harder to hold myself together and take care of my responsibilities when all I really wanted to do was lay in bed and cry myself into severe dehydration and eventually death.

It was easy for me to mask my pain with anger. I walked around with an everlasting grimace on my face. I very rarely smiled unless it was at the cost of someones feelings due to one of my cruel remarks. I had managed to convince everyone that I was sardonic over the events in my life when in all reality, I had been emotionally crushed.

No one knew how _not _okay I really was, not even Jacob. I couldn't tell anyone. I _wouldn't_ tell anyone. There was no way in hell that I would admit to that degree of weakness. The people who were closest to me thought so highly of the person I had become regardless of my bitterness. "You're strong. You're a fighter. You're beautiful," they'd said. It would break their little hearts if I ever told them how little they actually knew about me and how wrong they were in their observations. I kept it all bottled inside and woke up every morning, plastering my signature scowl across my features before confronting the world with mock fearlessness to save everybody the pain of knowing the truth.

I felt cold, numb and alone as my silent tears stained the pillow. I clutched my chest, holding myself together so I wouldn't slip into the dark fog that was my depression. I was so lonely it caused me physical pain. I was overwhelmed with sadness one couldn't begin to fathom. I reached over and flipped on the radio, hoping some music would distract my brain but it didn't drown out the darkness of my sorrows. They ran too deep, right through the layers of flesh and muscle and straight into my bones. I just couldn't escape the agony. It was constant. My chest convulsed as I choked on my sobs. My eyes burned with uncontrollable tears.

My lips longed for Jacobs. My back called to be pressed against his chest, his arm thrown over my waist, his fingers splayed across my stomach. I could imagine his face nestled in the crook of my neck, his hot breath tickling my collarbone as he snored softly. I wanted the safety of being completely consumed by him. I needed to wake every morning to his kisses along my neck as the sun rose. His fingers trailing gently down the curvature of my spine. I would squeeze my eyes tight, wishing we could stay in that moment forever. The sweet nothings he would whisper in my ear, allowing his lips to linger there a moment longer than necessary. That would be the definition of perfection. The world could be falling to pieces around us and I would be too oblivious to even notice. That is what I missed the most about letting go of Jacob.

I squeezed a pillow with all my strength, crushing it against my chest. It was useless. It could never provide the warmth and love that Jacob's body did. Exhaustion finally took over as the river of my tears ran dry.

* * *

I woke up about an hour before our scheduled time to meet with the pack. I hopped out of bed and followed the faint sound of Seth's voice down to the kitchen. I stood in the hallway and frowned softly at the sight before me.

Seth was sitting at the kitchen table, alone, muttering incoherently to himself. He was staring down at his twiddling thumbs as he rocked back and forth nervously.

"Seth?" I asked softly as I stepped into the kitchen. His head shot up as he stared at me in shock. I sat across from him and reached forward, taking his hands in mine. "Are you okay?"

"Yea..." His voice cracked and he hung his head, staring at our joined hands. He cleared his throat before continuing. "Yes. I'm fine."

"Do you wanna...talk about it? Or...something?" I wasn't very good at all this emotional sappy shit. I squeezed his hands gently.

_Please don't cry. Please don't cry. I won't be able to let you go through with this if you cry._

"I'm alright, Leah." He looked up at me with a small smile and I smiled in return. "I'm just preparing myself."

I nodded softly and headed over to the refrigerator. "Do you want something to eat before we go?"

"No, thanks. I'm not really hungry."

_The human garbage disposal isn't hungry? Damn. He must really be torn up over this._

"We're doing the right thing, Seth. Remember that," I told him as I grabbed a slice of cold pizza and turned back to face him. He looked up at me suspiciously.

"Do you really believe that, Leah?"

"I do. And...I trust Jacob. He wouldn't ask us to kill the woman he loves or risk all of our lives if he had even the slightest doubt that this was the right thing to do."

He nodded in agreement as I finished my pizza. I smiled as he stood and we left to meet up with the rest of the pack.


	47. Chapter 47: We Just Might Need Dynamite

Life and love were quickly fading from view as we approached our graves marked by the Cullen's manor at the edge of the forest not too far from the river. A fear overtook every emotion I'd had from the beginning and turned it into a sickening feeling at the pit of my core. It churned my insides into a liquid, threatening to expel itself from both ends of my body. I had to focus on some other counterpoint before I collapsed from anxiety.

I made a promised to myself that I would go into this fight with my head held high and a smile marked on my face to hide the shame, but inside, I was becoming a whimpering puppy who needed his mother. I was so offset by overbearing stress clinging onto my entire body, I had almost forgotten I was on _their_ land. When the strong odor infiltrated my sensitive nostrils, my first reaction was to defend and fight the things that caused the smell.

"_Jacob..." _Seth reminded me.

I snarled and looked at him. He flashed a quick glance at Leah just as she glared at me with her usual penetrating stare, locked upon my form and no one else. Without words exchanged in our minds, feelings of worry pounded us from the inside. An array of emotions powerfully pulled us under as we sank into a dark blue sea filled with hope, never to come up to the surface for breath again.

My peaceful moment of silence and ignorant bliss with the two beings I felt closer to than my own skin was interrupted by Embry, and although I should have been a caring indivual of what he had to say, his thoughts faded in my attempt to block him out by the part of me that didn't give a damn. By then, my brain went into a nostalgic state, blurring out reality and sending me into surreal moment of me, myself, and I. For a moment, I heard nothing but my own thoughts, I felt nothing but my own emotions, and they comforted me like a newborn baby wrapped in swaddling clothes.

Did I really want to do this? On some levels, yes, but only because I hated Edward Cullen with every beat of my pounding heart. Perhaps if he were an actual human being and not a soulless cast of imitation, I may have actually liked him enough to not want him dead. I'd come to terms with my insecurities and deemed myself uncomfortable mostly with his mind reading abilities and the attitude he established upon having such an advantage over me. Even though I despised the creature who would soon kill someone that meant so much to me, the thought process in which I'd perceived the turn of events wasn't quite settling into my brain just yet.

No matter how many times I would avoid it, the real question I should have been asking was, did I _have_ to do this? After I thought about it for a moment, I wondered what other choice I really had.

In Forks, there were two forks. One road led to a life I knew existed somewhere long after the rainbow in my Oz had faded, but the other was just a sometimes happy, sometimes sad life that existed with Leah and no one else. Bella was dead and everyone else was too busy with their lives to even care anymore. The Cullens had been the only reason our genes had awakened and turned us into the beasts who could slaughter an entire town like we were running through a corn field.

Of course, I was sure I could be happy in both lives, one with regret, the other with _why didn't I?_, but neither made the choice between the two any easier.

I loved Bella. I _still_ loved her in some small way, but was it enough to take away her life just to save everyone else from the thing growing and destroying her body every passing minute we waited?

Once the deed was done, there would be no turning back. Magic didn't exist in her world, although she'd been dragged into ours, and regardless, the time was now. This was a hard and fast decision my stomach didn't much appreciate, and as hard as I tried to put things out of my head for later, I knew I couldn't avoid it any longer.

As hard as I had tried to put this off, every single decision I'd made effected every individual person in and out of my newly formed packed. Any of us were capable of dying, it just took a little more effort than on the aggressors part to do it.

Just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, reality, in the form of Sam, snapped me back to attention as I felt a slight pain in the side of my torso.

I snarled. _"What the hell, Sam?"_

"_Wake the fuck up and stop daydream, you bumbling idiot!"_ He allowed a low growl to escape his trembling muzzle and I watched as his teeth revealed themselves in the dim light. They slightly sparked a shimmer from the saliva in his mouth and made it more apparent of his order and position. He backed away and stared around at the pack. _"We have a duty to our people and the town to protect them at any cost,"_ Sam begun in his thoughts with a certain proprietary dignity. _"If any of us should fall short to our enemies, we must continue until the end. No exceptions."_

Leah quickly stood in front of her brother defensibly. _"If Seth dies, you die!"_ she snapped at him.

I took a few shy steps forward, surrendering myself in between Leah and Sam just in case. She turned her head away from me, shielding her brother who looked at the rest of us in embarrassment.

"Come on, Leah, I'm not a...puppy anymore."

Everyone laughed except Leah. "That's not funny." She turned to me in shame. "Jacob, please."

There was something in her tone that signified her desire over need and I wanted nothing more than to give it to her. I sighed a gust of hot breath, letting it expel from my nostrils as I glanced up for a moment at the house by the edge of the woods, searching for any signs of an answer. Edward caught my eye immediately, standing like a piece of furniture in the second story window. His stare indicated what I already assumed.

"_They know we're here,"_ Sam stated, taking position at my left flank.

I lowered my head to the ground, trying to hide the disdain in my eyes. _"No shit, Samantha. Edward Cuntlicker _is_ a mind reader."_

"_Shut it, jack ass."_ Sam knocked me against a tree as he lept onto the Cullen's property, turning back to look at the others. "Let's do this!" he called out to them.

Everyone, with the except of Leah, Seth, and I, followed him. I looked at Leah, still hovering over her brother.

"_No matter what happens, Leah, I love you."_


	48. Chapter 48: The Beginning of the End

Jacob telling me he loved me right as I was about to go gnaw an unborn child out of a teenagers womb was not what I needed. I needed a clear head with no distractions but obviously he had other things in mind. Instead of giving in and allowing him the luxury of hearing me say I loved him too, I snorted and set my gaze on the house, concentrating on the task at hand. Jacob took a deep breath before sprinting forward, Seth and I close on his heels.

We took the house by storm, each of us spotting our assigned targets instantaneously and attacking swiftly. There was no room for error or we would all suffer the abhorrent consequences. I scanned the room, finding the whale on the couch, trying to sit up and see what all the commotion was about. I followed behind Jacob, never taking my eyes off Bella, just in case she had some sort of random ass adrenaline rush and tried to make a break for it.

The mind rapist was crouched protectively in front of her, one hand on the floor, hissing rabidly as Jacob crept toward him. I kept my distance, not wanting to cause a distraction that could get the man I loved killed. In a split second, Jacob sprung forward and had Edward pinned to the ground, biting and snapping at his throat. I took Edward's temporary paralysis for granted and ducked around them.

I crouched in front of Bella, hackles raised, snarling and foaming at the mouth with my mounting fury. This bitch was the reason I lost the man I loved and she didn't deserve to take another breath. The look that graced her face was priceless, one I'll never forget. Her eyes went wide as I assumed her puny excuse for a brain finally came to the realization that the Grim Reaper had come to collect. I chuckled darkly through my snarls as she began begging for her life and the life of her unborn child. Tears were streaming down her face, leaving dark spots on her shirt as they trickled off her chin. Her entire body trembled in fear as I inched closer to her, checking to make sure everyone else was alive and in one piece before I made my move.

Sam was in the middle of the floor, rolling around with Emmett. They looked like they were at a standstill, neither of them able to gain the upper hand. Secretly, I was hoping Emmett would slaughter the shit out of Sam so Jake would be Alpha. At least Sam would forever be gone from my head and I would only have to deal with one dickhead ex boyfriend instead of two. Over to my right, Jared had Alice backed into a corner. He blocked each and every one of her advances as she ducked left and right, trying to get around him. Quil and Embry were closing in on Jasper, one crouching on each side of him.

Paul had Carlisle pinned to the floor, tearing large chunks of his rock hard flesh off piece by piece. Leave it to Paul to make his prey suffer. Esme stood in shock as she watched her loving husband being brutally massacred by a huge, dark silver monster. Collin and Brady seized the opportunity and simultaneously tackled Esme to the ground, landing with a loud thud. Collin clamped his jaws around her neck, beheading her quickly as Brady kept her flailing body subdued. Seth was languidly closing in on Rosalie. I was quite surprised by the terrifying look on his face. Apparently he found his balls somewhere in the two minutes it had taken for us to come this far.

Jacob seemed to have the upper hand in his battle with Edward and I knew it was time to make my move. I turned my glare back to Bella, who now had her arms wrapped tightly around her protruding stomach as she tried feebly to get off the couch. Before she knew what was happening, I reared up, landing my two front paws against her chest, forcing her to lay back against the couch. A gurgled scream pierced my ears as I heard several bones in her chest and back snap at the force of my blow.

The sound fueled my anger and spurred me on. I snapped my jaws in her face, grunting a laugh as I taunted her mercilessly. Her shaking body and endless tears filled my black heart with joy and I savored every second of my momentary happiness. I say momentary because the next thing I knew, the bitch grabbed two fistfuls of my fur and yanked with all the strength she could muster. It didn't hurt but it annoyed the fuck out of me.

I knew I didn't have long and I was wasting precious time. I snapped myself out of my moment of bliss with a malevolent growl. It only grew louder as I sunk my razor sharp teeth straight through the soft flesh of her abdomen and into that parasite they call a baby. I closed my eyes and used every ounce of muscle I had to rip my head to the side. Tearing her abdomen and that demon spawn clean off her fragile, colorless body, I left her there to bleed to death.

As I spat the vile creature onto the living room floor, I heard the one sound I feared most. I whipped my body around as quickly as I could only to be graced with the most torturous sight I've ever laid my eyes on. I stood petrified, completely in shock as I watched Rosalie dig her filthy claws into my brother, his body laying limp on the floor beneath that blood sucking maggot. Before I had time to properly react, Jacob flew into my line of sight and ripped that undead Barbie's head clean off her perfect, marble body. I took a step forward, intent on caring for Seth now that my job was finished but was interrupted by an excruciating blow to the side. I heard my ribs snap as I was thrown into the air. I hit the wall hard, sliding down into a pile of useless mush as the air whooshed from my lungs. I shook my head, trying to regain my composure and stand to meet my attacker head on. As I lifted myself onto my front paws, I felt a heavy weight land upon my back. I whimpered as I was squeezed around the middle, causing my broken ribs to pierce my aching lungs. I collapsed against the floor, fighting back the tears that threatened to pour from my eyes as I forced myself to breath through the pain. I lifted my head again with what little strength I had left and looked over my shoulder, just in time to watch Edward sink his venomous fangs into the tender flesh of my flank.


	49. Chapter 49: Distance

I was about to give up everything, including hope. The fight between the Cullens, my pack and Sam's was a fast, violent clash of disaster, ripping at the veins in my neck. My pulse was now at full speed as I tore into the poisoned air, hurling myself forward to pummel the cocksucker, Edward Cullen.

He had knocked the life from my bones, a claim left uncharged from the battery in my chest once his teeth sank into the flesh of my beloved Leah Clearwater. I held on to that very grudge in slow motion, breaking through the air between microseconds of time. With nothing left to feel, I didn't have a moment for distraction. Leaking was the part of me I should have resisted, but force tempted me further. The cracks in my heart had broken into uneven grooves between the muscles inside my body. I had nothing but hate and the thought of failure ringing in my ears as the last inch between Edward and I came to an overwhelming close.

The air was silent and still, though it seemed like the only bit of existence from the war that was left surrounding us. I had not turned in time to see Leah's lifeless form crumble to the floor as she screamed out in agony. My motive was already set and I didn't have enough energy to save us both. I had chosen her over myself, a most noble decision, but one I wondered if I would regret making in the afterlife.

The rock-hard skin of a vampire met with my teeth. The enamoring surface tasted like iron—like blood, as I sank them in deeper before dragging my claws across his susceptible face. I felt a swift kick to one of my shins and a tight grip around my throat. Struggling to get away, I expanded my torso, forcing a lungful of air to contract so drastic, it separated both of us a few feet apart on the floor like a nuclear explosion in a third world country.

I growled, howling into the dead air as my feet skidded beneath me across the polished marble floor. I leapt into succession with Edward's timely maneuver before bringing him backwards. Opening my jaw as wide as I could, my body lurched down toward his throat. The devilish look in his eyes rang out to me in terror before I felt the forcefulness of his hand grasping my neck tighter with each passing piece of life between us. I fell into his crimson red eyes, the cause of tasting Leah's blood before he let go of her.

Inhaling a large breath, I held my own before making Edward's cold neck my latest craft project. Once the pressure from his hand had loosened around my collar like a noose, I knew the job was finished. I ripped the cords in his neck away from the rest of his immortal being and slung it across the room of the silent house. The only thing left to do was burn the pieces and finish his family.

Panting, I stood emotionless for a brief period before turning in time to see Sam falling backwards, his muscles ridged and stiff. Before the floor met with his form, he had somehow phased back into human appearance. Jared yelled so incredibly loud over the silence connecting us that his voice echoed twenty times over in my mind before it stopped. I turned, almost in shock by the voice I recognized, but didn't expect to hear. There were a handful of us left, the Cullens included. I stood on all fours, each leg spread evenly to hold my ground before I caught a last image of Sam, bloody and without a heartbeat. His face was painted with a pale expression that reminded me of a man who had just encountered a demon. He was one of our strongest and now, he was gone.

My heartbeats slowed themselves, almost as if a hand was gripping the strong muscle with a gentle force. There were no sides or packs anymore. Jared, Paul, Collin, and Brady now belonged to me. I had gotten everything I never wanted, but somehow I still accepted what I couldn't change.

As I stood thinking, I should have been watching my back. Emmett was being attacked by Jared and Paul and Collin had shifted back into himself, trying to convince Brady to help him with the fire. Embry briefly crossed my line of sight, giving me a look of disappointment and then a flash of concern to the twitching, convulsing body of Leah.

_Help her,_ he whispered into my mind.

I let a whimper escape. _Save the doctor,_ I responded before feeling the weight of a heavy object attacking my backside.

_Jacob!_ I faintly heard Embry yelling to me. I wanted to respond, but the thing now sinking it's teeth into my shoulder wouldn't ease the pain long enough to let me.

I collapsed on the floor, looking up to see Jasper smirking in my face as he blurred across the room. I was in more agony than I had ever been in my life, but I dragged myself fifty feet to lay beside Leah. She was screaming and I felt the burning now too. It was consuming my muscles and throwing my former self into a whirlwind of spasms and jerking. I couldn't control my own body. My vision clouded over and twisted itself into some kind of vortex I fought to resist. Within seconds, I was back in the form I was born to.


	50. Chapter 50: The End

Through the fire filling my veins with poison, I could finally see the most important part of who I was. I had been this monster capable of impeccable damage, and a heartbroken fool who'd spent the most crucial years of his teenage life loving someone whose heart was already taken, but I was ultimately a man. As I burned from the inside, tears rolled down my paling face, collecting in a puddle on the floor. I was so sure that if this didn't kill me, I'd ultimately drown in my own sorry. How pathetic was that?

The pain I fought back was terrible and almost impossible to bear as it crushed every part of who I was. Glimpses of my life flashed before me, and upon realizing that my fate had come to this, I convulsed in a fit of uncertain death, whimpering, scratching at whatever my nails could dig into, and contorting my body in ways I never knew it could fit.

Suddenly, I felt myself reminiscing back to a happier time when my family was anything but gone. Rachel's laugh echoed in my mind, taking me back to a better time. She was brilliant with a smile that could make a snowman melt. My mother, Sarah brushed Rebecca's hair by the fire as I colored a stupid picture on the floor. This was a solemn reminder of how much I truly missed her, and as my dad stood tall, his face was less stricken with impalpable grief that knew no measure.

"Jacob!" I heard a voice call out to me in the world I was attempting to leave behind. It sounded a bit like Seth, muffling a shout for me, but there was no way to be certain as I came back to a blurred memory.

Feeling cold hands on my shoulders just as the loving warmth of my mother's voice found it's way into a knot between two points jolted me into a stand of shock. Swirling through bitter grays of a broken heart, my hand reached out for Leah's with no feeling of her within my grasp.

As my vision clouded an overlap of various colors, some of which I'd never seen, the smell of putrid, rotting flesh invaded my nostrils. I opened my mouth, gasping for breath before soon feeling another cold, hard hand upon the bleeding crescent that now marked my flesh. I was being destroyed by fire and ice at the same time and it squeezed my beating heart just enough to let me know that Leah was the first and last thing on my mind.

Through a mixture of selfish thoughts and agony to be nearer to someone I lastly desired, there were no words for what happened next.


End file.
